One more time
by Millie12345678910
Summary: After a wild night out, best friends 25 year olds Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen end up pregnant with complete strangers. 26 year old Nate Archibald and Chuck Bass are not ready to be fathers but will they man up and do it? AU New Chapter
1. The first line of the book

Blair Waldorf is a twenty five year old lawyer, working for her step fathers company. She lives with her best friend Serena Van Der Woodsen, also twenty five, her first ever client. They met when Serena was being sued by a make up company she had been working with to release a palate of eye shadow. With the help of Blair she had won her case and left $6,000,000 wealthier. That was four years ago, just after Blair left law school.

Blair and Serena had become immediate best friends, shopping, dining and eventually living together. Serena found a job at Blair's mothers company, Waldorf Designs, as a model, her long tanned legs proved helpful.

Blair was a conservative woman, she had a fun, bitchy side but that only came out when she was extremely drunk and partying with her friends and colleagues. Serena was a party girl who had recently settled to work but didn't mind a drink here and there, especially with her roommate. The days of waking up in random rooms, drinking whatever her hands could get ahold of and passing out where in her messy past.

Tonight was the opening of Serena's former step brother, her mother had married _many _times and divorced _many _times. This brother came from husband number four, which lasted on six long torturous months before the horrid man had died in a car accident. Serena though had formed a bond with the mans son, they had meals occasionally, texted sometimes and always got along when seeing eachother.

Blair has reluctantly agreed to come, what was a few drinks going to do? Oh, how was she wrong.

The girls dressed up, perfecting their hair and makeup. Pulling up their dress more than needed, slipping on very high heels and dancing to the 80s girl empowering music Serena had suggested. Expensive perfumes, heels, make up and singing to trashy songs galore. The wonders of being rich.

" this is going to be so fun, I can't wait for you to meet Chuck." Serena beamed, brushing the fifth coat of mascara on her long black lashes.

" you talk about him a lot, it would be great to put a face to the name and to get very very drunk. Thank god i cancelled work for both of us tomorrow, we are going to be so hung over." Blair gushed and jumped with joy.

" maybe even meet a boy, you defiantly need sex. When was the last time? Nate was it." Serena joked, finally placing the mascara in her make up bag.

" yes, that was so long ago and I need it. Serena Van Der Woodsen also needs to get her strings plucked, you seem uptight." Blair admitted, teasing Serena slightly, they both laughed.

" I'm hoping for a simple man, someone who will just know its sex and nothing else." Serena sighed, a girl can dream.

" me as well, Nate was clingy. Once I ended it with him, he didn't stop calling me until after I graduated law." Blair sighed along with her, she was dreaming the exact same dream.

" well let's get going then," Serena said, grabbing Blair's arm and pulling her downstairs.

Little did they know that the boys they slept with could never leave them. Well at least for another eighteen years. Let's continue.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" she hot?" a very high Nate asked, puffing more at his joint. They were sitting in Nate and Chuck's old penthouse, drinking and smoking like they were seventeen year old horny teenagers talking about who they were banging that night.

" very but she's my sister, I don't see her like that. Got really nice legs though." Chuck answered, taking the joint from Nate's hand, puffing a bit more.

Chuck Bass was the newest owner of The Empire, his father had recently died and with the money he had purchased the hotel. For a twenty six year old, he was loaded. His best friend was too. Nate Archibald is a lawyer for mostly his family and family friends, well paid and he knew the clients. He was also twenty six and very loaded. All people on the Upper East Side were, especially his roommate and best friend. After Father Bass' death, the men had moved from The Palace penthouse to the revelry purchase Empire penthouse, moving in within the next week.

" blonde, long legs, tanned and blue eyes. My dream girl to hook up with, complete opposite to my college girlfriend. It will be nice for a change." Nate said, grabbing the joint back at his own mention of his ex girlfriend.

" get over her, it was what four years ago." Chuck smirked at his sighing best friend.

" yeah but if you met her you would know, I don't love her anymore it's just she can hurt you. Like an unforgettable girl, you don't love her but you mourn her." Nate stated as he slouched back in his seat.

" find a girl tonight, sleep with her and forget about the unforgettable." Chuck demanded and stood up. Straightening his suit jacket, tonight was the night of his hotel opening. It was being celebrating with the club opening, only the most respected Upper East Siders were invited including his sister.

The male best friends jumped in the black limo waiting outside. Smiling at the thought of getting lucky with anyone, what a great night.

XOXOXOXOXO

The music was loud, the mood was high. Drunk or sober, the dancing and singing, the kissing and grinding, never stopped. The bar was crowded, you could barely get a drink without being bumped and knocked about. It was going to be fun, the atmosphere had already reminded them. The smell of desperation and lust already protruding their nostrils, completely bewildering the girls. Sending them into a party frenzy that no one could control.

Blair and Serena had just arrived, already being swooned over by men. They sat at a booth close to the front of the club, near the stage and dance floor. The jackets that were hiding the bodies of the beautiful women were removed, flashing their barely covered bodies to the men in the hotel club.

" S, they are all staring," Blair mumbled, embarrassed by the attention she and her best friend were getting. Her pale cheeks blushing, eyes taking a permanent spot on the floor.

" because we are sexy and beautiful, let them stare and we will pick the best looking man and sleep with them. Just calm down, okay?" Serena reassured her friend, making sure she was okay with her surroundings. Serena knew how nervous Blair got in unfamiliar situations and wanted to make sure she was okay.

" yeah, once I get a few drinks down me I'll be fine." Blair verified. Smiling to assure her she was okay. She was fine, tonight was a night to let loose and have fun and that is excactly her plan. She couldn't ruin it now.

" okay, I'm gonna get us some drinks, wait here." Serena said, standing up from the booth and getting ready to walk. Nodding her blonde head at her best friend to confirm.

" I'm not going to move," and with that Serena was lost to the dancing crowd.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck and Nate entered the party, being greeted immediately by staff and fans as they were the boss and his best friend. Jackets were taken to a private coat room and drinks were immediately placed in their hands. Whiskey for Nate, scotch for Chuck.

After they downed them, Nate suggested he went and got more. Chuck didn't turn down the offer, he went to sit down at a booth near the front. As he took his seat he was shouted at.

" god, not another man trying to hit on me. The trick hasn't worked for the last three men and it won't for you!" A small brunette yelled, she was sitting at the edge of the booth. She was so small he had not seen her, she was wearing a black dressed that shadowed her into the black booth.

" no, sorry, I thought the booth was empty." Chuck apologised, taking in her beauty. Her pouting lips clenched together, her body was amazing. The black dress tugged at her every curve, her breasts plunging from a deep V cut.

" oh, I'm sorry. It's just been an eventful night with the men in here." Blair apologised back, removing her back from the cold leather so she was more visbable to him.

" yeah, well I'm not one of those creeps." Chuck joked, he noticed a small chuckle leave the brunettes mouth. " I'm Charles, you?"

" I'm Bl..." her phone beeped, it was Serena.

**_Sorry B, I won't be coming back with drinks. Found a handsome blonde for tonight, find yourself a man, if you need me text me and I'll be right there - S _**

**_No, don't worry yourself. Have fun with the blonde, tell me all about it in the morning - B _**

_" _sorry, it was my friend. She's found a blonde to occupy her time with." Blair apologised again, putting her phone back in her purse.

" now I can spend sometime with you," Chuck said, he was attracted to this girl, not like any other girls he slept with and he slept with a lot of different girls. A new one every night really._ But she was just another girl_, he thought to himself.

" you seem so sure i want to spend time with you," Blair shouted over the music, moving closer to him.

" I do, don't I?" Chuck talked loudly into her ear, a shiver went through her body.

" ah, your one of those men." She bubbled, pushing a dark lock behind the ear that he had just talked in. Shivering when she touched the place his lips had touched. A smile remembering the moment and the greatest feeling.

" those men?" Chuck asked. Unaware of the people around him; girls fawning over him, men wanting to be him. All he was focused on was this small brunette in front of him.

" you think you have the world in your hands, of course you have money to get you somewhere but you want the world. Every woman, power over every man and the fear of the business world. You think that people immediately want to be around you or be you because that's what you've had your entire life. Sorry to shock you _Charles _but I'm not one those girls who want to get in your pants after the first sentence." Blair answered, pleased with the reactions she had just got out of him. Bewilderment. Utter shock pouring from his face.

" you..." his finger pointed at her; she was worried he was angry. Blair couldn't deal with an angry drunk man tonight, not with her nerves. " have just summed me up, two minutes and you practically know me." Chuck's laugh boomed and Blair let out a small giggle that covered her sigh of relief.

" I'm good at it, do me." Blair insisted.

" with pleasure." Blair rolled her eyes and he continued, " you have always got what you want because you've worked for it, never been handed it on a silver platter like most trust fund babies. You are ignored by your mother and that's caused your determination to be perfection. Even though you have reached every goal she has set, she is still displeased. I can see you squirming, this is not a normal place for you to be but you want to let loose. Feel free for a few hours before reality hits." Chuck deciphered her, Blair was now in shock.

" how do you know?" She managed say.

" because I do the same thing, I run from reality." Chuck let out, he had told something he had never said to anyone, not his best friend or brother and sister but a random girl he had literally just met.

" you want to run, dance with me then," Blair stood up and grabbed his large warm hand. She pulled him up for a dance, he agreed straight away. He would grant her every command, he was pulled in. He never wanted to let go.

XOXOXOXOXO

Serena walked to the bar, her face beaming and glancing around for her brother. No sign of him yet. Probably talking to some blonde in hot pants and hot pink underwear.

She ordered two red wines and waited. The bar was packed, people moving and pushing her side to side. Then it all stop when a handsome rugged blonde walked up,_ must be important_, she thought.

" hey man," the blonde high fived the bartender, "make sure the lady gets her order first." The man hurried to make her wines, smiling at her every few seconds.

" Celia," she shook his hand as he looked at her.

" Fitz," he released her dainty hand from his strong manly grasp.

" is that a nickname or are your parents one of this modern Upper East Siders?" Serena joked, sipping the wine that was just served.

" nickname, names Fitzwilliam. My parents are defiantly not modern and would probably kill me if I ever named my own kid anything like that." Nate joked back, _she is gorgeous, _he thought. Blushing as she blushed, his eyes lingered for too long.

" you must be one important person here, my drinks were served seconds after you asked, Fitz." Serena continued confidently, pushing her blonde locks behind her ear.

" I know people, comes in handy sometimes." He said, his deep chuckle making her giggle a high pitched sexy giggle.

" I know some people too, must be a rich people thing. I thought the owner was keeping it high class adults only but drunk teenage brats have seemed to get in. How old are you by the way?." She said, seductively taking another sip of wine.

" twenty six, you?" Nate returned the question, his trousers tightened at the sight infront of him.

" twenty five, pay for my drinks please and let me get back to my friend" Serena wasted no time, men buying her things was the first step of her plan. He wanted the man underneath her little finger, ready to do or go anywhere with her at anytime.

" I'll buy the drinks, as long as you talk to me for a while. You are interesting, Celia, a few drinks wouldn't harm." Nate laughed, _how gullible he was, _she thought. This blonde would do anything for her right now because he wanted to sleep with her. Badly.

" I suppose not," Serena replied, smiling and tilting her head in laugh seductively. After texting Blair and getting a pleasing answer back she sat and drink more with ' Fitz.' 1 hour and 45 minutes later, Nate and Serena left, passionately kissing eachother as they made their way into the long black limo.

Her night was pretty much the same as Blair's except for being in Nate's tempory hotel room, not a coat room.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" Oh god Charles." Blair moaned in the private coat room. After getting extremely drunk with 'Charles' she ended up having sex with him.

Chuck was kissing her neck, ripping her dress from her tiny body. Cupping her exposed breasts with his hands, kissing one after the other. Sucking and playing with each nipple, she moaned louder. His mouth left a trail of kisses from her breasts down to her belly button where he lingered, she cried for him. Her body shaking in suspense.

" good things come to those that wait," Chuck whispered in her ear, Blair shivered.

Blair's hands reached for his belt, she began unbuckling it. After successfully removing it, she dropped to the floor and pulled out his long hard member. Her mouth rapped around it and her tongue played with him. He was now moaning with pleasure, making her body quake, happy with the reaction he had to her. She went faster and faster, he was close and she could feel it so she stopped. He let out a moan of displeasure and tightly shut his eyes, hoping for her to continue. Blair then stood up and smiled at him. Leaving his hopes unfulfilled.

" do you want to wait?" Blair pouted, her sinful lips puffing with bad deeds.

" never," Chuck pressed her against a wall, kissing a sensitive part of her neck. Her hands grabbed his hair and it hurt but felt amazing at the same time.

He slipped a finger inside her wet core, she screamed with pleasure. _Oh god, she's so tight, _he thought. He got harder, if that was even possible. Pumping into her petite body, her purring reached his eyes. The sensation overwhelming them both. Everytime one moved, the other moved to accompany them, finding a new way to excite eachother. Lips crashing with passion, breath wasn't even needed half the time, all they needed was each other's lips.

All Blair could think about was how wrong this was, sex in a coat room with a random man she had just met. But he didn't feel like that. It felt as if she had know him her entire life and this, this was a moment of needing. Like they had always craved eachother, needed eachother, wanted eachother. His eyes were warm but filled with lust, his voice was sincere but was coated with sex. This man wasn't who she thought he was, she thought sex meant nothing to him. He wouldn't take his time or it would feel like a quickie in a bathroom but this was different. He savoured her. Kissed her. Loved her.

He needed her now, he reached for a condom from his coat pocket, not one was there. Chuck wanted her so bad, his body practically begging for this random brunette he didn't know the name of. Forget it. He shouldn't have forgotten it, that one mistake led to a bunch of mistakes. To far ahead of the story, let's get back.

Finally he entered her, her gasped was covered as his lips met hers. Their mouths were touching but Blair's mouth was open in ecstasy. Her moans were uncontrollable, sending him over the edge. Chuck bit her bottom lip, sending a shiver through her body. Bringing a small sense of reality back to her, her eyes met his and as he pumped into her, she felt connected to him. The gaze never broke. Never failed to keep intact. Brown met hazel.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

It was 9:34am, she was lying in a hotel room with a sleeping man beside her. She knew she had to leave without him knowing, it was embarrassing. Slowly Blair removed herself from the dark haired mans grasp, grabbing her panties from the floor along with her clothes.

" leaving so soon," Chuck mumbled in the pillow, startling Blair a little.

" it was a one night stand, I don't stay in the morning. I'm not one of those girls who asks for breakfast or lunch a different day." Blair explained as she pulled her dress up.

" okay, do I at least get to know your name?" Chuck said as he straightened his body to the headboard.

" Blair, Blair Waldorf." She answered him, grabbing the rest of her stuff and fixing her hair in the hotel rooms dressing table mirror.

" beautiful," he said, grabbing her from behind and kissing her neck. She gasped and turned her body to him, passionately kissing his lips.

" one more time, that's it. We done it until 3am in the coat room, your limo and a few times in here, it's staring to be a one day stand." Blair moaned, straddling him and grinding against him.

" I want more than that. Blair Waldorf, you are beautiful and unforgettable." Chuck groaned into her ear, kissing down her neck.

" I get that a lot," Blair said, head rocking back in ecstasy and utter most pleasure.

" you should, you are amazing." Chuck growled and pressed his lips against hers, softly.

" one more time," she groaned between kisses.

" one more time,"

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena and Blair had returned from their eventful nights, talked about it for that day and then returned as normal. It was just a one night stand, right?

Five weeks later and they still thought about that night, those mysterious men never getting out of their minds. A blonde and a brunette wanting a blonde and a brunette, wanting to see them, talk to them, kiss them and make love to them. _It was just a one night stand_, they both thought. But what was this sick feeling they had in their stomachs, at first it was butterflies, now they were not so sure. It could only be one thing, a thing they so desperately didn't want and definitely didn't need with complete random strangers.

" B, how long now?" Serena whined, her stomach churning in suspense.

" two minutes, S" Blair practically whispered, staring at the eight white sticks. Four for Blair and four for Serena.

" why did we have to be so stupid! They are random strangers and we could be carrying their babies. I'm going to hurl." and Serena did just that in the toilet, causing Blair to spew in the bin next to her.

" I got his number, he insisted on giving it to me after we had ... sex. He never used it though. If this is positive then I have to deal with him. If he wanted me he would have called. " Blair raised her head from the bin and stared at the wall.

" yeah I got Fitz' as well. He hasn't called or even texted either." Serena mumbled, hurling once again. The timer went off. " moment of truth."

The two women stood, hand in hand, and walked over to the bathroom room counter. There sat eight white pregnancy test, all sporting a positive symbol. Bold and strong, no way it was wrong.

" oh B, I'm pregnant." Serena cried into Blair's shoulder, sobbing and crying.

" me too, what do we do?" Blair bawled, wiping away her and Serena's tears.

" well, first we call the fathers then we tell our parents. Then I don't know, have a baby." Serena wept.

" we are having babies, real life, breathing and moving babies. We get to pick names and clothes, pregnancy bellies, it'll be great, S. Just think, we get a baby and we will have eachother throughout." Blair said, lightening up a bit, thinking about her upcoming and new life.

" I'm going to call him, wish me luck. I'll probably meet him to tell him." Serena nodded and walked off, phone in hand.

Blair had to do the same thing, hands shaking she dialled the number and lifted the phone to her ear.

**Hello... This is Charles Bass**

XOXOXOXOXOXO

It was a Tuesday morning, they boys had agreed to meet the girls at the men's apartment. Serena didn't know Chuck was Blair's baby daddy and Blair didn't know Nate was Serena's.

The clocked striked twelve and the first footsteps were heard. The elevator dinged again and another set of heels were heard. Nate and Chuck rushed downstairs and were shocked at the sight.

" Nate?" Blair remarked.

" Blair?" Nate spoke.

" Serena?" Chuck growled.

" Chuck?" Serena gasped.

The four stood in silence, a very uncomfortable one. All moved from leg to leg as they cramped with how long they were standing.

" you know eachother?" Blair asked the blonde woman and brunette man.

" yes, this is my step brother, Chuck." Serena stated, playing with the strap of her bag.

" Chuck, of course. Charles." Blair said, rolling her eyes at the man infront of her.

" you know eachother?" Chuck asked he same question but this time to Blair and Nate.

" yeah, he was my college boyfriend. Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald." Blair answered, smiling at her ex.

" this is Blair, the Blair, Chuck." Nate pointed out, embarrassed about what he had said before. Chucks jaw dropped at the blonde man, this was the Blair that Nate hadn't stopped talking about for years after they had broken up. _Your unforgettable, It get that a lot. He understood it now, god Blair was a unforgettable woman._

" so let me get this right, Nate and Blair dated in school, me and Chuck are brother and sister. Then I slept with Nate and Blair slept with Chuck." Serena figured out and the group nodded.

" there's more..." Blair tried to get out but the lump in her throat stopped her. Serena finished.

" we are pregnant, five weeks." Serena confidently said even though she was scared inside.

" pregnant," the men said in union.

" yes, if you want nothing to do with the baby I totally understand, if you do we can talk in your rooms now." Blair said, inside she was pleading for Chuck to say let's talk.

" Serena let's talk, okay." Nate comforted Serena, motioning his hand towards the stairs. She followed her instructions, squeezing Blair's hand before following Nate upstairs.

The remaining two stood in silence, both thinking the same thing. _What the hell were they going to do?_ Blair raised her head, wiping away the tears that were falling, brown eyes met hazel.

" How could you do this to me," Chuck snorted, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

" to you, I'm the one that's pregnant and I'm the one that's going to have to give birth, breastfeed and raise the child. What have I done to you?" Blair spat it him, angering burning her stomach. The stomach that held their child.

" you should have used birth control," Chuck snapped back, hands waving with the same anger.

" you should have used a condom!" Blair yelled and took a step closer to him.

" I thought you were on birth control, now we have to deal with a baby. When do you want the appointment for the abortion?" Chuck cooly said, pulling out his phone and check book.

" Abortion! Abortion! I don't want a abortion, I'm keeping the baby with or without you!" Blair screamed and waved her hands.

" You want a baby with a complete stranger that you had sex with in a coat room and limo. The kid doesn't deserve that!" Chuck shouted, still writing the check for her silence and abortion.

" no, the _kid _doesn't deserved to be killed because it's father can't keep it in his pants." Blair barked and hit the elevator button.

" don't put it like that! I just don't want a kid at 26 and when I'm not married, the mother a complete stranger." Chuck snarled and hit the button for her again, he wanted to push her in and forget about her and his child.

" so you are going to leave me to raise your son or daughter alone, this is going to court. I'm getting sold custody when it's born, you can give up your rights and never see us again." Blair sighed, wiping the warm tears that were still falling.

" okay,"

" not it's not okay, you are a waste of space, a human being that should not be able to procreate. But you can so I'm dealing with the consequences. I hate you!" Blair screamed and cried and yelled all at the same time.

" goodbye Blair," he said as the elevator dinged.

" goodbye, Charles." She said, walking into the newly arrived elevator. The doors closed and Chuck was left alone to think, think about everything. The kid he didn't want or the women he just hurt. That night should have never happened, biggest mistake of his life.

Upstairs, Serena and Nate had heard the commotion. Squirming everytime one of their best friends said something that shouldn't have been said. Serena sat at the edge of Nate's bed, he sat next to her. Both staring at the wall blanky.

" sex in the coat room, doesn't seem like Blair," Nate laughed, grabbing the shaking blondes hand in support.

" but it sounds like Chuck." Serena teased back, entwining her long blue painted fingers with his.

" so Serena, uh. Pretty name, could have told me before we had sex." Nate laughed, calming Serena down, he was so normal.

" hey! You said your name was Fitz and Celia is my middle name." Serena giggled, he loved her giggle. It light up this dark worthless world.

" Fitzwilliam is my middle name!" Nate said, they both laughed for a few seconds then it turned serious. " so your pregnant..."

" yep, five weeks." Serena mumbled, holding her flat stomach protectively.

" I'm here, for it all. I'm half this baby, I want to be in its life." Nate reassured her, placing his own hand on her stomach.

" thank you, talk to Chuck please. I can try but I'll probably end up killing him." Serena begged., she didn't need to, Nate would have done anything for her.

" I've known Blair for ages and Chuck for longer, they are both stubborn but love with all their black hearts. Give them some time, if nothing works then I'll step in." Nate explained, dropping his bed on the pillow behind him.

" it's going to be a long couple months but I trust you. For some strange reason, I trust you. Me and my baby have it good for a one night stand." Serena laughed, dropping back next to him.

" our baby." He corrected her, they both laughed.

" god your cute!" Serena beamed and turned her head to face him. Blue eyes met blue eyes, they shared a look. A look of wonder and amazement, of joy and happiness, of scared and unknowing.

" Will you Serena..." Nate started, unknowing how to finish.

" Van Der Woodsen."

" will you Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen be my baby mama?" Nate asked, a smirk curling up his perfect lips.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam..." she didn't know his name either, a smile curled up her own lips.

" Archibald."

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, I thought you would never ask. It would be my pleasure." Serena accepted, Nate kissed her ring finger and dropped back with her laughing.

Two similar stories with two extremely different endings. Well not that extreme, a baby will be on its way in around eight months. One with a daddy and a mommy, the other with just a mommy. It's a true Upper East Side story, are they ready to be written in one or will they take their exit before the book has its first line?

XOXOXOXOXO

A week had passed, Serena and Nate never left each others side. Always talking about the baby, never flirting or kissing. Taking it slow and steady until they feel the time is right, right now it wasn't. The first appointment wasn't for another three days, they couldn't be more excited, they heard at this point you might be able to hear the heart beat and they couldn't wait.

On the other hand, Blair never left her room. Movies, food and the bathroom was the only other thing she saw other than the four walls of her room. Chuck had completely flown of her radar, the baby was the most important thing on her mind. It was her chance to be great, to have something hers and somewhat only hers. Even if Chuck wasn't there she didn't care, well not completely.

" B, I've booked an appointment with her doctor for you, three days. Mines at 10am, yours at 10:45am. Did you know our babies are as big as a sweet pea?" Serena tried to cheer her up but only earned a small smile. " I've asked Nate to go buy us sweet peas so we can take photos with them, put them by our stomachs and when the babies are born we can show them the pictures." Again only a smile of Blair. " our babies have started to form a jaw, cheeks and chin. They have a little smile ready to be shown. The heartbeat could be heard at the appointment aswell. You can hear baby Waldorf's heart."

" thank you, S." Blair finally said, pushing her face up from the white fluffy pillow.

" for what?" Serena asked, she was confused.

" for trying." Blair mumbled, placing her head on her best friends lap. Letting her stroke her hair soothingly.

" I'm your best friend, soulmate even. It's what i do." Serena smiled, earning a chuckle from Blair.

" you are my soulmate, let's go get those sweet peas shall we?" Blair giggled, sitting up and walking over to her walk in closet. " I'm thinking blue for me and pink for you, then when we show the photos they will be gender neutral." Grabbing the right outfits, she and Serena changed. They looked amazing. Sexy but neutral, fun but classic, young but mommyish.

The park was their destination, jumping into a cab the girls smiled and told the driver their destination. It had been a week since Blair had felt fresh air and it felt amazing. Serena loved her best friend and she loved her smile. Today was better, tomorrow was going to be better and before you know it, the old Blair Waldorf would be back. Hopefully.

XOXOXOXOXO

Chuck hadn't left the Empire penthouse, the only thing that did was room service and women. He drowned his sorrows in drink, drugs and sex. Lots and lots of protected sex. It was the only way he could cope with the news he had received, the news he should be over the moon for but wasn't. Chuck kept thinking about those tears, those frowns, those words.

_I hate you! _

That rung through his head, the only way to get them out was to block them with the sound of sex. Panting and moaning. After he finished, he kicked the women out and the words come back to haunt him. It was torture, complete agony. The next woman would come him and he would repeat everything. Nothing special, just sex that _he _needed and then kicking her to the curb. The words would still come back, no matter what he did. No matter what he took or how much he drunk, they rung in his head. Burning, breaking him.

When he fell asleep, a small brunette would haunt his dreams. Sometimes with a pregnancy belly with a pregnancy glow, her eyes beaming with joy at him as she caressed her bump. Then she would say those words and tears slipped down her face. Sometimes a brown haired little boy run around his legs, screaming Mommy. Blair would then walk up, comfort the child and leave with him in her arms. Leaving Chuck alone. Her head would turned, a single tear would slip down her face. The child would wipe it and nuzzle his head in his mothers neck. They would both leave.

Everything haunted him, hunted down his emotions, trying to make him feel. He couldn't, he was Chuck Bass. Chuck Bass doesn't feel, doesn't love, doesn't care. The child should mean nothing along with his mother but it was the only thing he saw.

" Chuck!" Nate and Serena shouted to the almost empty penthouse, they noticed him by the bar. Looking at disgust at the sight infront of them.

" Nathaniel, sis, great to see you! How's the baby?" Chuck drunkley said, stumbling towards them.

" I should be asking you the same thing," Serena snapped and sat on the long black sofa.

" I have no children, no worries but the amount of scotch I have in my bar." Chuck snapped back and sat next to her.

" man, you do, okay. You were stupid, didn't use a condom and now in a difficult situation. I did the same thing but I'm dealing with it. Me and Serena are having this baby together but you are leaving Blair alone and with your child." Nate barked, getting annoyed at his drunken friend.

" I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH IT! She is better off without me and so is the child. I'll give her money and send her on her way." Chuck yelled, standing from his seat and walking to the bar again.

" Blair doesn't want money, she wants you. She wants your baby and your time and effort, she needs you Chuck. But you are too stubborn to deal with what you have done, a baby is coming soon and you are turning out excactly like you father!" Serena screamed, her hormones running crazy.

" don't your dare compare me to that man, he was in love and had a child who he practically abandoned when his wife died giving birth. I barely know Blair." Chuck stated as he poured himself another large glass of scotch.

" but you knew her enough to have sex and knock her up." Serena snorted.

" you knew him enough to open your legs after five minutes and get knocked up. Don't use decent human morals on me, sis." Chuck remarked and stared his deathly stare.

" Chuck, I am warning you know, don't talk to Serena like that or you will seriously regret it." Nate warned him, his body leaning over him, finger in Chuck's face.

" what will you do to me Nathaniel? Ask your druggy father to attack me or maybe mommy will uninvite me from all her social events." Chuck said, leaning in closer. Lips scowling, eyes burning, hands shaking.

" and your life is so normal. You sleep with new girl every night, drink until you can't stand and take whatever your dealer can get you so you can feel normal. So you can feel something because your father hated you and your mother died. The only people who actually care about you are hurting and abandoning." Serena stood up and yelled, hormones running wild.

" you want to compare lives. Your mother left you and your brother all the time, she married and divorced all the time, you slept around all the time. You partied, drunk and didn't take life seriously. When you did, you failed." Chuck scowled, taking a step closer to her, they were a breath apart.

" don't..." Nate ordered.

The friends sat down, silence filled the room. All thinking of one brunette, how she was alone and suffering. Nate and Serena had seen her up and about for the last two days, faking a smile, getting back in work. They knew her better, they could see her looking down at her flat stomach, frowning but then it turning into a smile. Serena had enough, she stood up, pulling Nate up with her. Rummaged in he hand bag and pulled out a punnet of blueberries, she broke one off and placed it on the coffee table.

" what's that?" Chuck rasped, staring at the single blueberry on his table.

" the size of your baby," Serena said, she then left with a _very _angry Nate in tow.

Chuck's hand went to the table and lifted up the tiny blueberry. Switching it from hand to hand, he couldn't believe that this was the size of his child. Their child. His and Blair's little life they had created together, in lust or love they made it together. Seven weeks since then meant the baby was seven weeks, weeks were left but he still loved it. Chuck loved something, his child with Blair. Blair. He must have hurt her so bad, she must hate him. She did say it but he never fully believed it. Now with his sister and best friend hating him, it was probably true. He hated himself, how couldn't she?

It had to change, Chuck had to change it. Quickly and rapidly he dressed himself. Sobering himself up with a cup of coffee and a bagel. Ordering a bunch of pink peonies to be delivered to his room, box of chocolates were also on the list. She was pregnant after all, with his child.

He was going to change for Blair and his baby.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Lying in her bed watching an Audrey marathon, she called _come in _to the knock at the door, expecting Serena or even Nate. Not the dark haired man who entered. _Chuck_. She sat up, straightening her appearance but it wouldn't work. It was late and she was in her silk pyjamas and wet hair from her nightly shower.

" Blair..." Chuck rasped.

" Chuck.." Blair gasped. She tapped her hand by her side, signalling for him to sit. Chuck did as he said, smirking at her openness.

" I'm sorry, for everything." Chuck apologised, looking Blair straight in her deep brown eyes.

" I know." Blair let out, tired of keeping in the pain and anger, ready to forgive.

" that's it, you desverve more, an explanation." Chuck laughed, completely shocked by her.

" I know I do but it's not good for me or the baby to hold in this stress. I want you and my child to have a relationship, it just took you time so let's move on." Blair explained her side, laughing at Chuck's manly laugh, god how she loved it.

" no, I was scared and a coward. I should have been like Nate, been there every step of the way." Chuck tried to apologise again.

" if you were like Nate, I would have asked you to leave." Blair giggled, resting her head on his shoulder.

" yeah, well I should have at least been there for the first appointment." Chuck said, brushing his fingers against her silky skin on her exposed arm.

" you will be, it's tomorrow. Don't miss it or this time I will kill you," Blair joked, slapping his arm playfully.

" I won't, I'll be here every step of the way." Chuck assured her, kissing her temple.

" well can you be here for my first ever pregnancy craving?" Blair laughed again.

" of course I will, what do you wish for Madame?" Chuck played, laughing as she did.

" a proper greasy cheese burger, with onions and tomato sauce and a chocolate ice cream. Could you do that for me?" Blair asked, smiling with her front teeth.

" anything you want," Chuck said before getting up and calling his driver. The door knocked ten minutes later and there stood everything Blair had asked for along with a bunch of pink peonies and Lady Godiva chocolates. Her favourite.

After placing the food on a tray, Chuck and Blair ate on her bed. Laughing and joking as if they had known eachother their whole lives, they had know eachother seven weeks. Seven weeks and a growing baby later they finally just talked. Not to get to sex or for it to end up as sex, it was just talking. Simple and easy talking.

" So, who is Chuck Bass?" Blair asked, wiping a smear of sauce from her bottom lip.

" Chuck Bass, umm, what do you want to know?" Chuck questioned back, laughing as she dropped the contents of her burger on her lap.

" family, friends, job, maybe even your middle name." Blair joked, picking the lettuce from her duvet, luckily the sauce didn't leave a stain.

" well my family, Dad died a few months ago and my mom died giving birth to me. No siblings except for step ones, Serena and Eric. Nate has been my friend for years, before he left for college, I think we were nine or ten when we met. Never needed anyone else but him, being a Bass can get you so much in life but having trust is the hardest thing for a Bass. The Empire is my job, before that i worked in my fathers company under Serena's mother. I wanted my own thing, something that was just mine. For middle name, it's Bartholomew. My dads name." Chuck told Blair pretty much everything she had asked but the story wasn't complete. It wasn't a life story, it was a brief summary.

" Charles Bartholomew Bass, got to get thinking for baby names. I think if it's a boy, Charles might be a nice middle name." Blair bubbled.

" what about you Blair Waldorf, who is she?" Chuck quizzed, smiling as she began telling her story.

" I'm an only child, my mother is a fashion designer, Eleanor Waldorf, and my father is a lawyer. He came out as gay when I was sixteen and is now happily married to Roman, a male model, in a chateau in France. My mother remarried aswell to Cyrus Rose, he's a lawyer too. I work for my stepfather's company as a lawyer, a family thing. I had a few friends here and there but nothing solid until I met Serena. I was her lawyer when she was being sued by that make up company, we fell in love at first sight. I've never needed anyone else but her. My middle name is Cornelia." Blair added, Chuck loved her life, it was homely. Normal.

" Serena works for you mother, I should have noticed she knew you when you told me your last name. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, I love it." Chuck teased, seeing the hate of her own middle name.

" hey, Bartholomew. You don't get to judge me, I don't call myself by choice Chuck. Like why," Blair smiled, stuffing more food in her mouth.

" it's a lot more interesting than Charles," Chuck admitted, shoving more food in his own mouth.

" Charlie is also an option." Blair said.

" never, its not as interesting. Try pulling a girl by going ' I'm Charlie Bass." Never going to work but use ' I'm Chuck Bass' girls will be swooning over you." Chuck joked, rubbing his slippery with grease lips.

" ah, the wonders of being a man. The joys it will bring." Blair looked down to her flat stomach. " I hope your a girl baby Bass."

" Baby Bass, shouldn't she be a Waldorf?" Chuck inquired, shocked by the name.

" it's tradition for the child to share a name with it's father, even though this baby was conceived way out of tradition in a coat room, I want something for her to have. That her mother wasn't just a knocked up slut." Blair shuddered at the thought of her own child hating her for no tradition.

" Blair, that child will love you and think the world of you. Don't feel to bad, I heard that Baby Archibald was conceived in the elevator on the way to the hotel room." Chuck added to make her laugh, he won.

" how do you know that?" Blair chuckled.

" I own the hotel," he said, smiling at her.

" so you watched your sister and best friend getting at it in a elevator, that's disgusting." Blair cringed.

" no, by the time his pants were being unbuckled I turned it off. I just wanted to know if they went through with it." They both laughed, smiling at the thought of baby Archibald being conceived in his uncles elevator. The silence grew.

" we are going to be parents, it just sound so weird. A mommy and daddy." Blair cringed, not hating it but loving it. Chuck grabbed something from his suit pocket, it was the blueberry. He placed it in Blair's dainty hand.

" what's that?" Blair inquired, playing with the little blueberry.

" the size of our baby," Chuck answered.

" Serena gotten to you aswell, the day I snapped out of my ... funk, she showed me the size of the baby. I even had photos taken with a sweet pea, they are actually really cute. I haven't got a bump yet so the tiny thing against my flat stomach, I wanted to show the baby." Blair replied, looking up to the plain ceiling. A small smile on her face.

" Let's take one with the blueberry, pull up your top." He demanded funnily, standing up and pulling out his phone. Ready to take a photo.

" no Bass, I'm not ready for a photo. I look disgusting." Blair scoffed, pulling the duvet up to her face to cover her more.

" your look beautiful as always, now come on." Chuck said and a blushed appeared on Blair's cheeks. He loved that he had that effect on her, she loved it aswell. Pulling up her top slowly, revealing her silky smooth pale skin of her stomach. It was flat, you wouldn't even know Blair was pregnant. Her hands reached for the blueberry, placing it on her stomach and smiling at the camera. The photo wasn't perfect, no where near it but Blair looked happy and the baby was on show. The couple stared at the photo with utter joy, then reality hit. They weren't a couple, just two people who hooked up and ended up pregnant. It couldn't go futher without a heart getting broken and the baby didn't need that. They wanted to be better parents than the ones they had themselves and putting them in the middle of a love affair wasn't better. It was worse. Worse than anything their parents had ever done. Leaving for months on end, forgetting school events, never asking if they were okay was nothing against putting a child in a heated argument that the relationship was going to end in. Chuck stood to leave, her heart broke in symphony with his.

" goodbye Chuck," Blair whispered to the dark shadow on the other side of her bedroom.

" goodbye Blair," and with that he was gone. The distant smell of his cologne on the pillow next to her. The peonies he had bought on her vanity, the chocolate along with them. If life was anything other than what they were living then it would be perfect. But it wasn't. It was the Upper East Side. Hearts broke, minds withered, feelings didn't count. A baby caught up was hard enough but they had to protect it from themselves. A parent could hurt more than anything in the world.

_' Speak to your children as if they are wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become' - Brooke Hampton. _


	2. Right and Wrong

Today was the day, the day people had been waiting for. The day that excited some, the day that scared some. The day that would show love and excitement, the day that would show hate and disappointment. Today was the day of the first scan for both babies.

Blair had awoken early, smiling as the sun shone through the crack in her blue floor length curtains. Rubbing her eyes happily, her feet hit the ground and into her fluffy slippers. Jumping out of bed and going straight to her wardrobe, picking out a red number. It was the Caroline High-Neck Satin Flounce Dress. It perfectly fit her growing body, she felt comfortable and classy in it at the same time. A pair of peach heels went along with it, as well as a simple necklace, bracelet, earings and rings. Perfection. Blair looked like complete perfection.

**Meet you here or there? xxx - B **

Blair had never been happier, her baby daddy was on board. Chuck was a sweetheart with a hard exterior and she knew getting him to talk to her was going to be hard but she still wanted to know him. All of him. The bad, the good, the heartbreak and heartache. Blair wanted to know Chuck Bass, she wanted Chuck Bass. Her phone beeped.

**I'll be over in twenty mins. Be ready. - C **

Abrupt she thought but he was a man texting. He's not really going to be pouring his feelings into a text message. It went over her head, Blair was happy. Placing a hand on her flat stomach she smiled. A smile that barely appeared. It first appeared when she had finally accepted Cyrus, she saw how happy her mother was and she was then happy. When her daddy and Roman married the smile reappeared. When Serena came into her life, the first day they lived together, the smile was prominent. Now, they say she was going to see her child, the smile was strong. It was bright and happy, it had a promise of hope for her little one. It was amazing.

**Ok x - B **

**See you then, darling - C **

The smile became stronger as his text came. Her heart was fluttering, her stomach was fluttering. Butterflies. She hadn't felt butterflies in so long, not since her first time with Nate. These were stronger butterflies like the feelings were stronger and they were. Nate was puppy love, a childhood crush but Chuck seemed like her forever. Blair wanted him to be her forever.

The knock at the door came and Chuck entered, looking as dashing as ever. A pale grey suit with a red dickie bow, how did he knew they were going to match? It was pure instinct. Chuck thought she was a red sort of gal and he was right. More than right. Her dress was red, her lips were red and her headband was red. Great instincts.

Serena and Nate followed behind him, laughing and smiling. Clearly one had said one of their 'jokes' and the other had found it extremely funny. Chuck had a face of disgust on, he rolled his eyes at his best friend and sister.

" B! Today is the day." Serena squealed, running over and hugging Blair.

" watch it, my babies delicate." Blair said with a fake smile plastering her lips. She was happy but not _that _happy.

" oh B, we get to hear the heartbeat and tomorrow the baby is the size of raspberry. They are getting so big, I can't wait. My boobs are really sore though, like touch one." Blair shook her head in disgust. "okay, don't then. Nate accidentally touched one yesterday and I wanted to kill him, what about yours?" Serena was practically bursting at the seams with excitement.

" no one has touched my boobs," Blair said, her face scrunching at her best friend.

" not even Chuck, I thought after you made up you would have had sex." Serena explained, bouncing on her bottom on the bed.

" No! It was a simple conversation and dinner." Blair yelled, placing her hand on Serena's thigh to stop her from bouncing.

" okay," Serena said in a duh tone. Standing up and running to Blair's wardrobe. " I need a pink dress, Nate's dressed in blue and I'm in blue, that's showing no support for the girls. I know I can't find out for weeks more but I still want to show my support."

" it's all colour organsised, probably left corner next to the reds." Blair directed her, sighing when her friend left for a few minuets. " Nathaniel, what the hell have you done to her?"

" nothing, she's been like that since yesterday. We went swimming and I accidentally touched her boob and then she's been bouncing about feeling pregnancy symptoms. I've tried everything to calm her down but nothings worked." Nate explained, sighing next to Blair on the bed.

" I know what it is, don't laugh though. Promise me." Blair demanded, pointing her finger seriously in his face.

" I won't," Nate said as he held his hands up.

" she's horny," The boys snorted, holding in a laugh. Blair slapped Nate and Chuck who had recently sat next to her. The men immediately stopped. " it's been seven weeks, she's carrying a baby who's making her feel either really horny or very unsexy. Either way she needs sex. Nate I think you can help with that, now if you excuse she's in my lingerie draw." Blair stood up and began yelling at Serena. Serena stopped as soon as she heard Blair's angry tone. Dropping the silk lingerie in her hand.

" Nathaniel, do what you need to do. I think Blairs got the same problem. An itch I can only scratch." Chuck smirked, laughing he heard Blair shouting and slamming a drawer.

" man, stop. Just stop." Nate cringed. That was his first love and ex girlfriend after all.

" why? We are just using the joys that pregnancy brings. Very, very horny women. Don't get soft on me now, literally." Chuck snorted.

" shut up!" Nate said, Serena entered along with Blair and were ready to go. Serena newly changed in a pink dress jumper, white knee boots to match.

" ready?" The men asked in union.

" ready," the girls replied, they were then on their way to see baby Archibald and Bass for the first time. A tiny life in black and white on a tiny screen, maybe even a tiny heartbeat.

XOXOXOXOXO

The small thumping became louder and louder, Serena, Nate, Blair and Chuck all listened in fascination. The tiny blob on the screen moving a little, tears streaming down Serena's face. The wand moving back and forth her flat sun kissed skin, it was cold but didn't bother her.

" so as you can see there is one baby, definitely not twins or more." The midwife said and pointed at the screen. " the heart beat is strong and the baby is in the right place, thankfully. Your due date is May 13th, but don't be surprised if the baby is a few days early or late. Any questions?" The midwife passed a piece of blue paper to Serena and started putting the equipment away.

" Is everything normal? Is there anything wrong with the baby like Down syndrome or autism? I'm not against it, I just, you know, need to know." Serena asked, nervous for the reply.

" the baby looks perfect, for Down syndrome we will have to have some test, autism you won't know until it's born. By the way I'm Anne Josephs." Anne the newly named midwife said, all four young adults sighed. Happy with the news.

" that's great, when do we see you next?" Nate smiled, holding Serena's hand.

" at 20 weeks, this was an early scan but as Miss Van Der Woodsen was very persistant I agreed. All for the safety of the baby. At the 20 week scan, we will look for feotul anomalies but we will be able to tell you the gender. See you then, I've got to get ready for my next patient." Anne started but was cut of by Blair and Chuck.

" we are your next patients, I'm Blair Waldorf and this is Chuck Bass." Blair greeted her, shaking the midwifes hand.

" oh, Mr Bass. I didn't realise you were the father." Anne shook his hand, embarrassed about being in his presence.

" yes, well, I didn't realise either. I had my dibs on the second man but working it out, it can only be Chuck. I feel sorry for me too." Blair said, she was very annoyed at the midwife, of course Chuck Bass had women swooning over him.

" oh, um let's get on with the scan. Please jump up on the table and pull up your dress, the blue blanket with cover your bottom half. Are Mr Archibald and miss Van Der Woodsen staying?" Anne asked nervously, she is making a fool of herself.

" yes, they are our best friends. Blair would hate if they wasn't here." Chuck interjected, holing Blair wouldn't embarrass herself further. Blair did as she was told and the gel was placed on her stomach soon followed by the wand.

" okay, there is only one baby, the heartbeat is perfect. With the information given from over the phone, the due date has come up as also May 13th, the size matches up with that. Everything is perfect, the babies in the right place, no visable anomalies and growing at a normal rate. Any questions?" Anne repeated herself, really wanting to get this over with.

" how far into the pregnancy will we be able to have sex? Can we continue as normal or will we have to be gentle?" Chuck inquired, the other three people in the room mouths dropped, Blair even slapped his arm.

" it's okay Miss Waldorf, it's an average questions. Sex is okay right now but in the future could be advised against. Slow down, be careful and check for STDs. We don't want your body to carry infections that could affect the baby, no _foreign _objections unless they are cleaned thoroughly. Any other questions?" Anne laughed at Blair's disgust, it wasn't odd for a young man to ask this questions.

" no thanks, Anne. We'll see you soon." Chuck replied, instructing the midwife to give them space.

" who you having sex with that is pregnant then? I'm not giving you any off me." Blair said in a serious tone; she wanted to have sex with him but she didn't want him to assume he could.

" don't play hard to get, you know you want me." Chuck teased, helping her get off the bed.

" I'm not playing hard to get, I've already slept with you and look where that got me." Blair said, pointing at her exposed stomach.

" Yes but you loved it." Chuck smirked.

" Charles Bartholomew Bass, unless you shut up right now, I will whip you until you can't stand. Not sexually." Blair seethed, pulling her shoes on.

" okay guys, why don't we just get lunch?" Nate suggested, really wanting to change the subject.

" yay, I'm starved." Serena smiled.

" your not starved, I saw you with the pringles in the waiting room and don't forget the beef jerky." Blair said through her teeth.

" I'm pregnant," Serena gasped, hugging her stomach.

" so am I but I can handle the need to eat pickles and clotted cream all the time. I'm starving right now so let's go before I bite of one of you heads." Blair barked, her stomach rumbling, the group laughed at her as she grabbed her stomach.

" on my way darling." Chuck announced, gesturing for his friends to follow her. Dinner was served.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" I'll have the steak and fries, an extra side of garlic bread and a large glass of orange juice. Can I also have a bowl of pickles please?" Blair asked the waiter, who was astounded that the tiny brunette infront of him could eat all that. He wrote it down.

" the same please but instead of pickles make it strawberries with a side of cream please." Serena ordered, smiling happily at the very shocked waiter.

" I'll have the seafood palate." Chuck said, quite abruptly like he owned the place. Well he did, it was the Palace restaurant.

" the BBQ burger with fries, a whiskey for me and a scotch for my friend." Nate finally ordered, the waiter then left. " so... we saw the babies, that was fun."

" very fun." Serena added with a very large smile.

" yeah, the doctor loved us. I bet she can't wait for the 20 week scan, I bet she can't wait for us to talk about handcuffs and whips." Blair said sarcastically, sipping her orange juice.

" Blair, it was a joke. Let it just be a joke." Chuck snarled, fed up of the conversation.

" no I will not let it be a joke. You embarrassed me and you embarrassed our baby. Everytime our doctor sees us, she'll be like 'that's the couple who had sex like animals for the whole pregnancy.' Do you think that's what I want? NO! I don't want for the baby to have that hanging over its head when we go for the next baby." Blair seethed and pointed her pointer finger at him.

" the next baby? We haven't had the first baby and you won't even let me touch you so I doubt we'll have another. We've known eachother for eight weeks and we are already discussing a second baby." Chuck exclaimed, eyes wide open with complete shock.

" Uhhh, you Basstard. You are never touching me again, have fun with your hand cause that's the only you are going to be pleased._" _Blairlaughed, pleased with the way she won the situation.

" please I can go find someone to sleep with in the next two minutes, I'll bet my billions." Chuck teased, knowing that she wouldn't allow him.

" okay, I'll bet my baby's name that she will leave as soon as she talks to you." Blair dealt, still wining the same situation.

" okay, that brunette over there, she's been eyeing me for the past five minutes. I'll call a cab for you, I'm going to be using my limo." and with that Chuck stood and walked over to the said brunette. The conversation immediately began, the girl flipped her hair and googled Chuck as if he was a piece of art, a very interesting piece of art.

" yep, you have just lost you baby's name, welcome a Harold or Darwin. Basses want a respectable name and you will now get one. Gertrude sounds amazing," Serena laughed and Nate joined in.

" Hey, he hasn't even left yet and even if he does sleep with her then I will legally file a restraining order, I am a lawyer, my step fathers a lawyer and my Daddy, Harold by the way, is a lawyer. I have a great team and a whole section of lawyers routing for me. So he better keep it in his pants or I will make sure this baby is a Waldorf." Blair snapped at the laughing blonde couple, they immediately stopped.

" Blair calm down, just give him the middle name." Nate reasoned with her, squeezing Serena's hand.

" Chuck wants to play, well I'm gonna play." Blair said, she then stood over to a black haired man waiting at the front door. They left within minutes, Chuck barged back over.

" where has she gone and who the hell was he?" Chuck bellowed, glaring at blondes.

" you wanted to play so she said she went to play. She's won. Now if you don't want her to sleep with that random guy I would go after her." Nate explained, staring at the front door suggestively.

" I'm off," Chuck snarled then walked to the Palace doors. A angry expression filled his face, jaw ticking and eyes in tiny slants. His hands reached for his suit, tugging at the collar of his shirt. The slam of doors was heard and he was gone. The blondes left to eat as the brunettes played games. Classic.

XOXOXOXOXO

Walking towards Blair's bedroom door, he heard moaning. _She's playing me_, he thought. It was one of the many thoughts running through his, he wanted her but couldn't say it. A baby and he still couldn't say it. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered everytime he was near her, his hands sweat and heart beated fast. Now the woman he wanted didn't want him which killed him, the butterflies never died though.

His hand reached for the door and he opened it. The sight before him made his stomach turn. The black haired man from the bar was being straddled by Blair, both completely naked up against the headboard. He was kissing her neck and she was moaning in pleasure. Chuck's heart broke and with that the butterflies died or at least stop fluttering.

" Chuck!" Blair screamed as she covered her self up with the blanket. The man pushed Blair off and reached for his pants.

" Blair..." Chucks voice broke along with heart.

The man left, only nodding on his way out, leaving them alone along with the silence. The deathly silence that pierced their ears. Blair's panting was the only thing that could be heard along with the elevator arriving to let the man out. Chuck's deathly gaze never left the wall, if looks could kill then that wall would be on fire. Blair sat on the bed, saying nothing, doing nothing.

" where is she?" Blair finally asked and reached for her outfit spread out on the floor.

" who?" Chuck rasped. Tears welling in his eyes but being held back by strength. The strength he needed right now, to feel sane.

" the girl at the restaurant, you get the name." Blair said, his gaze burning her skin.

" I didn't sleep with her, I was just waiting for you to break and you did _this_." Chuck glared.

" I only did this because I thought you would be fucking that slut!" Blair yelled, her hormones finally kicking in.

" NEVER! The only girl I want to fuck is you and you fucked him. I want you but you don't want me. I thought that I was the first person on your radar to have sex with as that baby your carrying is mine but no, a random guy was. Why?" He shouted back, his voice booming through the empty room. Tears streamed down Blair's face, her head spinning with everything Chuck had just said. Why did she do it? Why did she ruin everything? The room fell dead again, with a huff Chuck sat at Blair's vanity. A large hand running through his dark brown hair, the other clenching the vanity itself.

" I did it because he wanted me. He made me feel sexy, you try but you know I'm pregnant. I feel like a project with you, like I'll have your baby then you leave with it. Your Chuck Fucking Bass, I've read up on you. You have the power to do anything and I don't. No matter how much I try, you will always have a one up on me and I'm scared. I'm scared that you'll get bored with me like you do with all the other girls. I'm scared that you'll take my baby. I'm scared that you will never want me. I'm scared that you'll leave and I don't want you to leave. I'm Blair Waldorf. I work hard, I barely have time, I barely have sex and I'm boring. It's unfair to you, me and this baby that if you start this then you'll get bored. I'm sorry but I'm not." Blair explained, wiping away the tears that kept falling; they refused to stop.

" so are we done? Is this it? We have a baby, I'll be a weekend father and we have nothing." Chuck said, hating the fact that she was crying.

" we have a electrifying, intense thing but it's too much too fast. I want to be with you but i can't. We've tried for a week and it already failed. Let me go and I'll let you go." Blair whispered, her voice wouldn't come out any louder.

" I'll let you go. It'll hurt both of us but I'll let you go because I want you to be happy. I want to be happy and that won't happen until you are but Blair, you are amazing. You won't bore me, you won't ever stop being enough for me. I don't deserve a girl like you and I never will, you need to know how beautiful you are. I see you looking in the mirror hating what you see but you are sensational. Don't let anyone tell you any different, don't run." Chuck lamented, sifting next to her and wiping her tears.

" ever since that night at The Empire, those words you said to me keep coming back. ' I run from reality,' well don't because me and this baby is your reality and we don't judge. We are as fucked up as eachother, completely and utterly fucked up. Your mother may have left young and your father may be dead and that will hurt but I'm here. I will always be your family, we are connected with this baby." Blair sniffled, her hand touching his cheek. Her forehead rested against his, she placed her lips against his. The kiss was slow and gentle, even sensitive. It was a 'goodbye for now kiss', caring and sweet. It was 'don't forget me' kiss, calm and warm. It was ' I need you, I want you and I will have you but not now' kiss, young and fresh.

" we have to try this, one more time, just not now. For our sake, for baby's sake, for our friends sake. One day we'll be amazing, earth shattering even but not today, not tomorrow, not next week. But I promise you one day we'll be perfect. Everything will be amazing, for me, you and the baby. Just give us time, give me time, please." Chuck pleaded, head still against hers.

" I would do anything for you," Blair wept, his breath warm on her lips.

" and I would do anything for you, trust me I would." Chuck said, his hand reaching to cup her face.

" I never doubted you and I never will. I trust you." Blair sobbed, placing her hand on top of his.

" you are going to be an amazing mother, I'm glad my sperm picked you." Chuck joked, lightening the mood a bit. He even earned a laugh of her.

" I'm glad I was so shadow like," Blair chatted, Chuck chuckled.

" I'm glad the coat room was free and my limo," Chuck stated, Blair slapped him, removing her head from his.

" too far," Blair said, she then changed the conversation. "Nate and Serena told me the baby will have to have a stuffy name, even went as far as saying Gertrude." Her voice was laced with complete disgust.

" no, don't worry about that. Middle names for boys will have to either be Charles or Bartholomew, girls either after the women in my family or yours." Chuck reassured her, she smiled at him.

" god, this is going to be hard. I just want to..."

" to what Blair?" Chuck inquired, unaware of the way the conversation will turn.

" I just want to fall in love." Blair blubbered, tears fell down her cheeks again. Damn hormones.

" sometimes love is the thing we need, sometimes we want it but it's always completely unexpected. To fall in love you need to know love, to have felt love, to have been loved. I always thought I would never be that guy who fell in love, I thought I would sleep with everyone and end up with a family worthy wife. Two kids, a white picket fence and sex with a secetary on my desk. Completely perfect but hating every moment of it. Blair Waldorf, I'm falling in love with you. I want the two kids, a beautiful wife and to come home to my beautiful family but only if you are the beautiful wife. One day, you will be that beautiful wife." Chuck admitted, hands playing together nervously awaiting her reply.

" I'm falling in love with you too Chuck Bass. Be my office husband, father of my kids and amazing bed buddy. Be my everything. Just not yet." Blair mumbled, grabbing his hands and looking into his eyes deeply with love and admiration.

" not yet. Promise me, if you want sex or even need it come to me. Not another one of those randoms, me." Chuck begged.

" I promise you, if I get extremely horny and I can't handle it myself then you will be my first and only option. Are you happy?" Blair smiled at him, Chuck returned the happiness with a smirk.

" very, are you?" Chuck returned the question.

" very, now let me get dressed then we can watch a movie and eat food. Gertrude is fancying popcorn and strawberry cupcakes." Blair laughed, she got up and went to the bathroom. The previous conversation ran through both their heads, they were falling in love with eachother. Smiles curled up each lips. Hearts beated and stomachs fluttered. Love was a funny word but they were both feeling it.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena and Nate sat in Serena's bedroom, across the hall from Blair's. The had just overheard the conversation, both sat in shock contemplating what to say next. But both burst out laughing at the silence, as the laughing died down, both clutched their aching chests.

" have you ever fallen in love?" Nate wondered, breathing finally steadying.

" once, I was sixteen and had just returned from boarding school. I had a bad time before I left and needed to escape. When I returned, everything was still the same, mom was marrying a random guy and running away from her kids and Eric tried to kill himself. I was so lost and I met him, Dan Humphrey. He was so normal, so average that I felt safe and loved but that love doesn't last. Safe love never does, I decided I loved the danger more than I loved the safety. I still owe him my sanety and my brothers safety but Dan didn't like my life and I didn't want to settle, we broke on good terms." Serena confessed before asking Nate the same question.

" Blair was my first love, we were eighteen and had just started law school together. I was in her classes and we started hanging out. Finally after gathering up the courage I asked her out on a date and we dated for a while. After a few months together she was my first and I was hers. I think that was my attachment to her and that's why she was holding on to me. We broke on good terms too." Nate explained. Serena wasn't shocked, Blair had talked about Nate all the time but Serena knew she wasn't still in love with him but she loved him. Serena knew the same about the way Nate felt for Blair.

" The universe works in strange ways but I couldn't love my life anymore. I'm pregnant with an amazing guy, my best friend is pregnant with my brother and you and Blair love eachother. If perfect was a thing, this would be perfect." Serena chirped.

" perfect is a thing and one day our life will be. Just wait and see, I will give you the world." Nate grinned, placing his hand on her stomach. Still very very flat.

" I could never be perfect and you have given me the world. My world." Serena beamed, placing her hand over his. They then laid on their backs, staring up at the blank ceiling.

" you are perfect, you make me see perfection very differently than I used to but I love that perfect. My perfect is probably insane but I would never change it. Never ever." Nate said, both hearts fluttered.

" Blair is perfect, she has the world figured out. I don't, I'm a model but I'll loose my job because I'm pregnant. I have slept with have the continent and drunk and taken everything. I wish I was Blair sometimes." Serena admitted, sighing when she had finally gotten it off her chest.

" I wouldn't want to be me, never would. I'm not perfect, I'm far from it and sometimes I wish I was you" Blair joined in as Chuck walked in. " you are a model, I'm a lawyer. Your blonde with blue eyes and amazing legs and I'm a brunette with huge brown eyes who is as short as a leprechaun. I'm pregnant with a bloody stranger and still can't let loose. You have fun and enjoy yourself while I wish I could do that. Now who is perfect." Blair took a seat next Nate and Serena laying down beside them, Chuck did the same.

" I wish you girls would see the people I see, both beautiful in different ways. Serena I love that you can let loose and be free and fun but once you know something is serious, you become serious. Blair I love that you work hard for your family and are as loyal as a teenage employee but you can be fun when you let go. Case and point, that baby was either conceived in a coat room or limo." Chuck blurted out, laying a hand on Blair's stomach.

" hey, baby Archibald was conceived in a public elevator, at least it was a private coatroom and personal limo." Blair joked, pushing his hand of playfully.

" how did you know that?" The confused duo asked in union.

" he's Chuck Bass," Blair said, everyone laughed. "Now what are we watching? I submit Bugsey Malone." she suggested, still laughing.

" No! Not again, I suggest Fifty Shades." Serena chimed in at the sound of Bugsey Malone.

" I'm not trying to get any hornier, Fast and Furious 6 is my entrée." Chuck joked, all laughed again.

" what about a Disney movie? We have to get in the mood for the years of watching them with our children or Sound of Music," Nate shocked everyone but the women quickly agreed.

" yes, Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella," Serena squealed, shifting her back against the headboard.

" no blonde bimbos, if I'm having a girl I want her to be smart like Belle or inquisitive like Ariel." Blair exclaimed, immediately putting off the idea of blondes.

" okay, I'll agree to Little Mermaid but only because I like Prince Eric. Very weird to have a childhood crush called Eric when your brother is Eric, trust me it gets weird." Serena laughed.

" my childhood crush was president Obama, don't laugh. The suit just seemed to pull me in, explains my choice with Chuck. I didn't like him, I liked the dickie bow." Blair confessed, smiles were shared.

" DJ from Full house, I used to watch it on reruns. Always had a thing for blondes." Nate said as he grabbed a bit of Serena's hair and pulled.

" never had a childhood crush, pretty much because I lost my virginity at twelve to Georgina Sparks and my womanising years went from there." Chuck let out, huffing and puffing at the movie choice.

" Georgina Sparks, I was best friends with her in high school, she pretty much set my partying years off." Serena bubbled.

" I used to summer in the Hamptons with her family, proper bitch. No, I'm a bitch, she's a psycho. I swear she killed the neighbouring family's cat." Blair grunted, nose scrunching in disgust.

" it's a small world after all," Nate joked, getting the movie company wrong.

" that's Pixar you dick," Blair yelled, slapping Nate in the face with a large white pillow.

" I don't do movies, I was more of a video game boy." Nate screamed as a pillow from Serena came.

" ah, Nathaniel, I remember the days of video games and weed fiddled minds. My girls leaving from the night before, you... being you." Chuck reminisced about the fun days of his teenage years.

" tell me the worst thing you have ever done, all of you. I need to know everything now that we are connected forever, so spit it up." Blair demanded. Her heart was in the right place but her head wasn't. She thought she needed to know people's worst dreams and nightmares to the best thing that ever happened to them.

" My father was done for fraud and embezzlement so after we broke up a slept with an older married woman for money. I was pretty much a male prostitute but it's was to save my family from bankruptcy." Nate sighed as he let out his darkest days, finally free of them.

" I killed my mother, technically. She died giving birth to me and I held that over my own head every day. I was the reason she was dead, the reason my father had no more heirs or his wife. I wish she would have picked herself over me but she didn't. So now of here and she isn't, neither is my father." Chuck blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer.

" I killed man. Me and Georgina got really drunk when we were fifteen maybe and we went to this mans hotel room. He was our usual ' dealer' but this time he wanted to sleep with me, I said we should do another line of coke. It was laced with something and he had a fit, he died. I ran from New York and ended up in a boarding school. It was the worst day of my life and I will never forgive myself. I've talked to the police and his family and they don't blame me but I blame myself for putting him in that situation. If I just slept with him." Serena babbled, tears glistening over her blue eyes.

" I was bulimic from the time I was thirteen to about eighteen. After passing out one time, i couldn't hide it so my mother sent me to a treatment facility. For weeks I saw this fat ugly thing looking at me in the mirror but then I learned how to accept me. I'm beautiful and strong, no matter what my mother says. No matter how much she tells me to lose, I'm perfect just the way I am. I had a few relapses but nothing to bad, I almost did it again when I saw the few pounds I put on being pregnant but then I thought no, I love my baby more than my figure." Blair said lastly, clutching her stomach as if she was protecting it with her life. " we've had some fucked up lives but let's not repeat the past, let's see the future and leave that... all of that in the past. Nate you did what you had to do to save your family, Chuck you didn't kill her and it's an amazing thing she picked you or baby Bass wouldn't be coming in May. Serena he took the drugs, he wanted to sleep with a minor for drugs and his family forgave you so forgive yourself."

" I want to but everytime I do, I see him shaking and then falling dead. I can't be living because he's not. I just wish that I thought everything through, done everything right." Serena cried into Blair's shoulder.

" if we all did everything right then we wouldn't be human, humans do stuff wrong and that's it. You do it wrong so that when next time comes you do it right. Baby Bass was conceived in a completey wrong situation but when my second baby is born it will be in a right situation. I'll be ready. You don't have to believe you did nothing wrong because you went there with the idea of using drugs and he did before you did so yes you did do wrong. Next time you'll do it right." Blair comforted her, rubbing Serena's shoulders reassuringly.

" Blair, you are beautiful. Please never do that again, please because I can't deal with you fainting or leaving me. I need my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life by my side. I love you." Serena took the turn to comfort Blair.

" Serena Van Der Woodsen, the love of my life, I love you too with my whole heart." Blair giggled, sighing into Chuck's chest.

Their darkest fears, the things that destroyed them, kill them inside just left, evaporated. Telling themesleves and eachother everything, every itty bitty detail, helped like no one expected. They didn't judge because they all did wrong. Half the time they did wrong but they accepted eachother as if it was the most normal sane thing in the world. And it was, being wrong to them was normal, being wrong is normal and they finally got over that fact.

_'It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.' - Lemony Snicket_


	3. The Road to Happiness

Hey! This one is a bit shorter, already having writers block and I'm only three in but I promise you the next one will be better. RR xxxxx

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Weeks had past and nothing had happened. Five weeks more specifically, the women are now 13 weeks pregnant. The babies are the size of a lemon. When I say nothing happened, I mean nothing happened. Chuck was caught up in work and so was Nate, Serena had to stop modelling and now spent most of her days at home watching movies and eating. Blair's work was killing her, assignment after assignment was given to her and in her spare time she tried to make Serena feel better with shopping and meals. Nothing ever worked and Blair was just tired of the constant moving.

Also Blair and Serena held back from the men, no sex for them no matter have frisky they felt. Screwing up the situation was the last thing anyone needed and sex would do that. Chuck and Nate never slept with anyone else, always waiting for the women of their dreams to come to them. They never did which infuriated them but forgave them straight away. It was very difficult for Chuck as he slept in the same bed as Blair, he had to wake early every morning to deal with a _very _difficult situation he had to sort out. The tiny brunette up against his body, breathing warm on his neck, hers visible. The nape of the neck. Chuck's kryptonite.

The pregnancy bumps were slightly visible, only if the women were wearing tight outfits or are in their underwear which Serena started running around the house with so everyone could see the bump. Blair was a bit more _calm_, she kept herself to herself and only showed Chuck the bump in her underwear. It was her body and she loved it being hers. Only Blair having the view of the tiny bump that held her baby and once in a while Chuck saw the bump. He always placed his large hands on her waist from behind her, Chuck would then kiss her shoulder and then her stomach. It wasn't sexually done, it was sweet and innocent like he was saying hello to the baby.

It was the morning, the sun shown through a crack in Chuck's room illuminating a sleeping Blair's face. Chuck just watched her as inhaled and exhaled, she was so calm and finally sleeping after a few busy weeks at work. Today they had a day off, the only one they would probably get for the next few weeks and it was a great day. The sun was out and bright, Blair's face was calm and Chuck was happy. Her baby bump was pressed on the side of his stomach as she cuddled him, his hand was placed on it and eyes looking down between its mother face and her stomach.

" Gertrude is not going to move yet, give her time." Blair yawned, waking up from her deep slumber.

" we are not calling her Gertrude and what if it's a boy, we are _definitely _not calling him Gertrude. So what do you want to do today?" Chuck asked, her breath hot on his neck. He coughed.

" stay in bed all day, watching movie after movie and completely ignoring the outside world." Blair said, pulling the duvet up to cover herself from the light that was piercing her brown sleepy eyes.

" then your wish is my command, I'll call room service and the movies are all here, ready to be watched. Do you know this all we do together?" Chuck sighed, wanting to get out that day and have fun.

" only because you won't take me on a date, 13 weeks pregnant and we haven't even been on a first date." Blair giggled, still tired and cuddling closer.

" you won't let me take you on a date, I would if I could." Chuck argued playfully, pulling her up to him so her face was next to his.

" I won't object," Blair smiled.

" then that's our day, I will meet you at 7pm here and we will have our first date. See you then." Chuck said and got up to leave before he was stopped by a confused Blair.

" where are you going?" Blair pouted like a child, crossing her arms annoyed.

" it's completely untraditional to see eachother all day before the date so I will be back at 7pm, have fun." Chuck joked then left, leaving Blair all alone with her thoughts. She squealed, grabbing her phone from the side of her bed. Texting Serena's number at the speed of lightening.

**Hey S , just had some amazing news. Text me when you have time xxx - B **

Blair placed the phone back on the side table waiting for the reply which came very quick.

**Hey B, I have time all the time. What's the news? You have me excited. - S **

**Chuck just asked me out on a date, tonight at 7pm! - B**

The texting stopped after that so she placed the phone back on the side table only for it to beep again. Sleep interrupted. Ugghhhhhh.

**Hey darling, see you tonight. Change of plans. Your first stop today is at Tiffanys then Arthur will take you from there. Enjoy - C **

Blair squealed again and started to bounce on her bed, up and down. There was a knock at the door and she run to it, Nate stood red and embarrassed behind it. His hands running through his blonde hair, blue eyes meeting brown.

"Oh, Chucks not here. I just came to ask you to be quiet. Thought you two where having ... sex with all the screaming and bed bouncing." Nate spluttered, looking down at the floor.

" don't worry, he's not here but it's just me. I was excited so that was the jumping." Blair laughed at his embarrassment before inviting him in.

" so... why are you that excited?" Nate inquired, tired of being so in the dark with everything. Work had been kicking his ass lately and he never had time to himself. When he wasn't working, he was with Serena. Even though Chuck and Nate live together they had barely seen eachother and Nate desperately wanted a mans night out.

" Chuck asked me on a date," Blair smiled, showing him the text Chuck had sent.

" wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Chuck Bass went on a date." Nate marvelled, Blair's face tightened. Her tiny nose scrunched.

" he's never been on a date, I have to make this perfect. Uhhhhhh, I need Serena, she's taken more boys dating virginity and actually virginity than anyone I know. Well, except for Chuck but I can't ask him what he should help me with on my date with him." Blair panicked, leaning on Nate for support.

" I'll go text Serena to come now," Nate squirmed ans pushed her off. Walking to his room.

**Man, what the hell have u done to Blair Waldorf? She's having a bloody panic attack over here, make sure it's perfect or I will kill u - N**

**Rena, Blair needs u. Something to do with her date with Chuck, come str8 away x - N **

**Don't worry, she'll be fine and I'll make sure the date is perfect. Don't sharpen your tools. Yet. - C**

**Hey, I'm already here. I knew she would be panicking. In the elevator now xxx - S **

With a sigh, he slumped back behind his desk, starting on the pile of never ending work. Shuffling through the pages, happy that he had his work sent over and wouldn't have to deal with human interaction for the next few hours.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena had saved the day, helping Blair pick an outfit and the accessories and make up to go with it. She looked magnificent by the time Serena had finished, her baby bump was only showing slightly through her Valentino Floral Evening Gown. The flow and the pattern hiding the bump but if you looked and knew it was there, it made her stomach look cute. Blair's hair curled and tied up with a few strands hanging down defining her round jaw. Black Tabitha Simmons shoe matching with her outfit, pulling it all together.

The limo pulled up at Tiffany's around 6:45pm where she was welcomed by a diamond heart necklace, small but classic. The next stop was Region, a formal restaurant with fabulous reviews. Chuck was standing outside with a bunch of peonies in hand, leaning against the dry wall. His face pulled into a smirk when he saw her. She looked magnificent. A goddess, a angel in real life. A beauty that had been written in story books and fairy tales.

" wow Waldorf, you look... gorgeous." Chuck exclaimed, taking in the sight before him.

" you don't look to bad yourself," Blair smiled. Chuck was in a black suit, a floral dickie bow to match. Gold cuff links and black shoes. His hair neatly gelled over to the side, his sharp jaw defined. Chuck Bass truly looked handsome.

" shall we my lady?" Chuck said, holding out his arm for her to link. Blair took it.

" we may," Blair played along but her voice turned into a whisper. " Bass, if you don't get food into my body in the next thirty minutes I will eat your arm and not feel remotely guilty about it." The hush tone worked, people passing by just smiled at her, unaware of cannibalistic comments.

" cannibalism, not a normal Upper East Side tradition but I think I could work with it." Chuck joked, Blair laughed at him. The couple sat at the table light by candles and smelled like fresh bread, looking out to the street where rain pounded of the floor. People running with umbrellas, hailing cabs and huddled together to keep dry and warm. The New York rain doesn't allow that and everything is soaked. Blair watched at the sight before her, reminding her of many of her favourite movies.

" First date uh, I thought being Chuck Bass would get you a lot of dates but you are a one night stand guy. Should have known that with the baby," Blair flirted, her eyes meeting his in one of their intense gaze sessions.

" My Father wasn't the best example, after my mother died he was with a new woman every week. When he met Lily he finally fell in love again, then he died." Chuck mumbled, his hand reaching for hers over the table set for two.

" My parents weren't the best either, my mother always told me to do better, to be better but I did everything and she hated me still. After meeting my step father she had finally got some family life in her, it doesn't change the past. My father had affairs with every male model that came for my mothers business, he finally met Roman and fell in love. I don't blame them anymore, they are both happy so I'm happy." Blair smiled, her pinkie finger playing with his large middle finger.

" we have to do better for our baby," Chuck added and moved his hand to cup hers.

" we will be better or my whole life goal would be for nothing. Don't worry, we'll be amazing or decent at least." Blair said as she met his dark gaze again, something in his eyes looked sad but it was mixed with hope and happiness.

" let's move away from that, tell me about you. School, Serena, Nate and life pretty much. We need to start knowing eachother or this baby will only know half a story." Chuck smirked.

" School... I went to Borderland and pretty much run it. I was the 'Queen' and had my way with anyone and anything. When I graduated, I enrolled at Law school where I met Nate. We dated for a few years, he was my first time and I was his but I was bored. I felt trapped and that I couldn't breath. It wasn't his fault. Our families wanted us to marry pretty much after we graduated but I couldn't. When we broke up I felt like I could breathe, everytime I saw him after that he was a breath of fresh air reminding me of my past." Blair said, sipping her apple cider.

" Nate talked about you for years, not like he loved you. Just like you were really important to him, I get what he meant by unforgettable." Chuck said sipping his own drink. Scotch. Blair blushed at the word unforgettable, remembering the morning after they first met.

" Yeah," she breathed heavily. " Serena I didn't meet until I started working in my step fathers company. She was being sued by that make up company and she was one of my first cases. We shopped and talked, we became best friends. Now I can't imagine a life without her. Tell me about you." Blair passed the question along.

" I went to St Judes for high school, had the bad boy womaniser thing perfected by the time I was fourteen. Nate I have known for years, we can't really remember when but it was a long time ago and we were kids. Serena I had heard of because she went to the connecting school Constance. Didn't really meet her until about two years ago when my father and her mother started to date, they moved pretty fast and we lived together quickly. How do you know Georgina?" Chuck finished, giving her his own question.

" don't laugh okay but Nate was my first time at 18 but Georgina was my first time with a girl at 16. We summered together and she came on to me and it went from there. I have ignored her since then, not the best day of my life and I learnt I was not a lesbian." Blair whispered, Chuck snorted and his drink burned the back of his throat.

" Blair Waldorf, you are a bad ass. My first time was with Georgina and your first lesbian experiment was with her. She was even Serena's party buddy, the worlds a small place." Chuck laughed, sipping a glass of water to stop the burning.

" I'm glad the worlds small or I wouldn't have met you. Serena talked about that party for weeks and I finally agreed only to meet you and have sex to create Gertrude." Blair eyes fluttered seductively, Chuck cleared his throat.

The conversation continued. Things were said that she never been said before, laughed and smiles were shared. Heartbreaking stories and funny memories, old friends to current friends, family and expected family. This was their normal, completely unconventional, strange and abnormal but it felt normal. It felt as if the world had just stopped and Chuck and Blair were the only people there. The people around them because invisible, the rain beating against the window was silent. It was just two people in their own world along with the baby growing in Blair's stomach. If only that was true, their phones beeped and an unexpected blast came up from a new website.

**_Hello Upper East Siders, _**

**_You don't know me but I know you, everything about you. I'm Gossip Girl and my one and only mission is to ruin your life. Secrets will be spilled, hearts will be broken and lives will be destroyed. Are you ready because I am and I'm ready to pounce and play. _**

**_Spotted - The famous Chuck Bass with the former Queen of Borderland dining together. Either B had a big dinner or that's a baby. I'm betting from B's eating disorder days that that's a baby bump. Congrats C and B on the upcoming arrival, who knew you were in a relationship. Turns out from my sources that you weren't and that baby was conceived in a coatroom at C's recent hotel opening. Dirty, dirty secrets already spilled, be careful or you'll be next. _**

**_You know you love me, _**

**_XOXO,_**

**_Gossip Girl _**

The couple sat in silence as they read the article over and over. Who the hell was this Gossip Girl and how had she'd know about the coat room? Blair was eventually going to start showing but the coatroom was a personal secret. Only for their friends to joke and laugh about, not the whole of New York. Chucks days of womanising meant that this wasn't a big deal but for Blair her job was on the line. She was meant to be a respectable business woman who didn't party and defiantly didn't get pregnant with a stranger in a coat room.

" Blair..." Chuck tried but couldn't find the words to comfort her.

" why? I've tried my best to hide it and now it's just out in the open because of this anonymous wannabe blogger who just happens to know the right people to bribe." Blair sighed, sipping her drink and staring at a speechless Chuck. " Can you at least say something or are you going to look at me like that longer? My job is ruined, my reputation is ruined, my life is ruined. The baby will always have to hold its mother slutty past over its head, I will be the dark cloud that bulimia was for me. I am a a monster that's destroying Gertrude's life before she's even born."

" you haven't ruined anything, I'll find out who this is and ruin them. I'll release a statement saying it's false and we have been dating for months on the down low. I'll even have people confirm it. We will get through it together." Chuck shivered, trying to connect his eyes with hers but she kept looking away while wiping the tears that fell.

" if we fight this then it will be known as true, we need something bigger to get them to leave and we have nothing. What's bigger than the biggest playboy in Manhattan and former Queen now lawyer having sex in a coat room and getting pregnant? Nothing!" Blair sobbed.

" I know but if we don't fight they'll think it's true. I'll get my public spokesmen on the phone and we'll discuss what is best and how we'll fight it. Now let's not think about it and get back to our date. First if I remember correctly," Chuck changed the subject, trying to keep the light mood that was once there.

" I think that this has to be our first proper date but with all the dinners and movies who go to, it's probably the 70th. I'm glad we are here though. Happiness does exist." Blair beamed, her hand reached for her stomach where it met the tiny growing bump.

" Wherever you and that baby are happiness exist and I'm glad I can join you. So now I ask you Blair Waldorf, will you do me the pleasure of being my girlfriend?" Chuck nervously asked, the scotch in his glass swirling as his hand shook.

" let's go," Blair demanded, Chuck tried to speak again but was cut off. " now! I want to leave now!"

Chuck put the meal on his tab and escorted Blair out to the long black limo. It shocked him when her lips met his, the intense electrifying pulse rushing through their bodies, meeting at their conncecting lips. Chuck fastended the pace as he grabbed the waist of her dress, playing with it as they sat in the limo. Blair's back was against the leather and Chuck's body was hovering over her, taking in the sight before him. A beautiful girl, pregnant with his child, wanting and waiting for him to kiss and make love to her.

Their lips met again, this time slow and sensitive. Breaths were caught throughout and smiled and laughs shared as they went over speed bumps. They knew the passion would be back as soon as Blair's room was in view, Serena was at Nate's that night so the house was free. Chuck's fingers reached up her dress and played with the elastic of her panties, teasing her body. In response she bit his bottom lip sexually, her hands pulling him by grabbing on to the lapels of his suit.

" Good things come to those that wait," Blair recited as she pulled her head back from his kiss.

He pressed his hard length against her stomach, she blushed. This was how she made him feel. Chuck's lips brushed against the sensitive part of her neck and she moaned. Purred more like it, Blair Waldorf never purred but she enjoyed it so damn much. His tongue played more at her neck and kisses were given here and there.

" do you want to wait?" Chuck said as he pulled his head up from Blair's neck.

" never," she panted. She turned the tables. Literally. Straddling him, she grinded against him as she kissed him. Kissing from Chuck's earlobe to his chin, down to his neck and Adam's apple. Blair's tongue licked from his Adam's apple to his lips where they met in yet another kiss.

" you are amazing," Chuck managed to say between gasps and pants.

" your not bad yourself," Blair said as he kissed her neck, the limo pulled to a stop. " let's go." Blair grabbed Chuck's hand, pulling him out and to the building. Walking in and pressing the elevator button, still gently kissing eachother.

The elevator stopped at her level, she pushed him into her penthouse. He kissed her cheeks as he unzipped the back of her dress. Blair unbuttoned his shirt, throwing his jacket randomly around the room. Both leading eachother into her bedroom, grabbing and pulling at anything that covered eachother. Shoes were kicked anywhere, accessories thrown on a random surface and clothes torn and ripped.

They were both completely naked as they entered the threshold of Blair's room. Chuck pushed her on the bed and hovered over her. He practically devoured her neck, sending her into a frenzy where she grabbed his member. Pulling. Chuck moaned into her ear and Blair loved it. Harder. He moaned more and Blair adored it. Faster. He moaned loudly and Blair loved it, she needed him.

He entered her slowly, a gasp escaped Blair's mouth. That quickly turned into moans that left both mouths. Her body bucked into his and he went harder, faster. Chuck's mouth went for her breasts, licking, caressing and playing with them.

Climax reached them very soon, panting and moaning together. They laid on their backs next to eachother, smiling and staring up at the blank ceiling. Saying nothing, doing nothing. As the lights dimmed on the city the room darkened and they talked.

" 13 weeks, wow. I haven't had sex that good in 13 weeks." Blair flirted, she cuddled into his chest.

" me neither, fuck, I never thought I would need you that bad." Chuck yawned, his arms falling on Blair's bare shoulders.

" I am never waiting that long again," Blair exclaimed and grabbed her stomach. " This is our road to happiness and I'm ready for the ride. Are you?" Blair murmured into his chest.

" save a seat in the car because I'm coming. Don't ever leave me," Chuck grumbled, falling asleep slowly and eventually.

" never, yes by the way." Blair whispered to the very exhausted Chuck, looking up at him. Her eyes open, his dropping into sleep.

" what do you mean?" Chuck asked, opening his eyes and playing with a strand of her sweaty hair.

" I'll be your girlfriend," Blair said and then they fell asleep. The finals lights of New York illuminating the room, shadows dancing around the light of the room. The traffic never stopped but still the two bodies sleeping still slept. Nothing disturbing them. Sleep welcomed them into a dreamland, dreaming of the past few hours. Even in sleep, a smile or smirk crept up the lips of the sleepers and the warmth glowed on their bodies.

_I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it._

_-_

_Groucho Marx_


	4. Liars

_A/N - hey guys, probably one of the hardest ones I've had to write. Writers block is a bitch and this one is very good but still review. Have fun!!!!_

_ iALLIEgator - thank you! It was very unlike Blair but that's how I wanted it. She wasn't feeling sexy or wanted and she needed acceptance. The stranger did that. Chuck thought he could have her and Blair felt that when he looked at her, he saw the mother of his child and that alone. Hope this explains x _

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" My Eyes!!!" was yelled as Serena entered Blair's bedroom the night after her date. The brunettes were sleeping soundly, both naked but covered by the duvet.

" whats wrong Ser... my eyes!!" Nate screamed as he entered the bedroom. His best friend lying there, naked, grinning at the blondes.

Blair awoke and grabbed the duvet up to her face, covering her entire body and Chuck's. Her cheeks turn pink with embarrassment, Chuck still grinned his signature grin. Blair slapped his arm, he just chuckled with amusement.

" come on, it's not that bad." Chuck reasoned with the trio, lifting his hands behind his head to prop himself up.

" you are both naked in my best friends room and are not even discussing the issue that arose last night." Serena cringed, throwing Blair a pair of pyjamas from her dressing table.

" S! You said arose, well done." Blair squealed as she put on the silk pyjamas. Nate had just returned from retrieving some of his own pyjama bottoms for Chuck who still wore that goddamn smirk.

" don't you dare change the subject on me but thank you. What are you going to do? This Gossip Girl is releasing all of our secrets and Serenate is next!" Serena shrieked. Blair and Chuck were now fully dressed in the bed that Nate and Serena had just taken a seat at the end of. Chuck and Blair snorted leaving the other two very confused. "what's so funny? Tell me!"

" Serenate," Blair said, she and Chuck snorted again. " why? I get it's your name together but it's awful, what are we? Bluck?" They both laughed again, tugging at eachother in laughter.

" no we are Waldass or Basdorf, it's like a middle school relationship." Chuck grinned before breaking out in more laughter with Blair.

" me and Nate have been discussing and we came up with the name Chair." Serena smiled.

" we are named after a piece of furniture, not even metal or glass all the time. It's mostly wood, not even diamond or gold. If feel like I'm being pressurised into this, I do not agree." Blair argued, crossing her arms like a child.

" I like it, Chair it is." Chuck confirmed and uncrossed her arms with a smile. " about Gossip Girl, we are leaving her alone and seeing if anything else comes up. If not we do nothing and leave it at that but if something does come up then we are going to do something."

" okay," Blair sighed. " why the hell did this have to happen to us? We were doing so well. All of us having kids, me and Chuck dating, Serena and Nate ... doing a Serena and Nate. We were finally getting somewhere and now our worlds have come crashing down. This bitch has got to go down, I'm the Queen of scheme so that whore better be ready." Blair's face was becoming red with anger and the others laughed at it. " it's not funny. I am the Queen of scheme. Nate, remember when that girl you liked in the first week of school, ever wonder why she only did the first week of school? Me, all me." She pointed at herself triumphantly.

" Thea Carmichael, I actually never took note on her. She sat next to you, I was looking at you. My first love didn't even know she was my first love until I told her she was my first love. Blair Waldorf, you are getting slow. It must be the pregnancy." Nate laughed as Blair slapped his arm.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, this pregnancy is making me smarter by the day. Gertrude has some hyper sonic intelligence gene that's passing on to me. True story." Blair smirked, Serena and Chuck sat in silence unable to join in the conversation as they didn't know what happened. " Guys, this was a long time ago. Im pregnant with Chuck now and Nate is having a baby with Serena, life has moved on. So should you." Blair reasoned, rubbing Chuck's arm reassuringly.

" Baby yoga class today, are you ready? Have you bought leggings? Have you got that bra thing?" Serena quickly asked, her face turning red as she didn't take one breath.

" slow down, S. We are prepared, Nate gave me the list last week after you texted and called and emailed it to me." Blair beamed, clearly as excited as Serena.

" I'm just... you know... nervous. These people will be judging us over a doll, what about when it's born? I'm going to be labelled a bad mom and I don't want to be a bad mom." Serena panicked as the tears poured down her face. This is the ninth time she had cried in the last three days.

" they can't judge us, we will be good parents. If not we can get a hell of a good nanny." Chuck said.

" NO NANNY!" Serena and Blair yelled at him, horror in their eyes. Chuck held his hands up in defeat, a small smirk on his face.

_No nanny, oh god... _Chuck thought.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" okay class, try the birthing pose." The very hippy instructor asked or demanded. The girls weren't going to do anything wrong so they just done it.

The husbands and boyfriends and Nate sat at the back of the class after finishing their part, watching their women stretching in tight pants. They could see Blair and Serena were struggling as it was their first class and had a huge 7 pound doll strapped to their chests. Sore breasts and seven pounds of plastic weighing down on them didn't help.

" Nathaniel, I am coming to everyone of these. Hot girls in leggings stretching on the floor and Serena flopping on her back every five minutes or so. It's my dream come true." Chuck declared, still eyeing up Blair's behind in her hot pink pants.

" hey, Blair keeps flopping on the baby so at least my child will have a concussion while yours has serious brain damage and needs extreme facial reconstruction." Nate snapped funnily.

" well done man, you are getting better but I'm Chuck Bass, don't try and pick a unwinnable fight." Chuck warned Nate with a huge grin on his face.

" I could beat you in hockey, soccer, basketball, running and ping-pong. You are good with words, I'm good with my body." Nate said as he gestured to his green tracksuit.

" you are making yourself sound like a male prostitute," Chuck laughed and so did Nate.

The doors opened and a certain black haired devil walked in with a Brooklynite on her arm and a slight bump protruding from her low cut black dress. Dan. The Brooklynite was Dan, Georgina was pregnant. Chuck and Nate turned and saw her. Nate had met her a couple times and immediately didn't like her. Chuck had lost his virginity to her when he was twelve and Serena dated Dan a few years back. More than dated, she loved the guy. Blair had lost her lesbian virginity to Georgina. The world was really against them.

The class ended and the girls said goodbye to the instructor and packed their bags before walking over to the shocked men. The women's faces immediately dropped as soon as they saw her and Dan together.

" Charlie, Natie, S and B, so nice to see you after all these years. And pregnant just like me, I love fate." Georgina gushed slyly and stood in her signature stance. Hand on hip, smirk on face.

" Georgie, so nice to see you too. Fate really does love us, it's been years, 9-10y . It's been too long." Blair greeted her, kissing both her cheeks respectively and socially. Inside she was hating the false pretences of them being 'friends.'

" and pregnant. I didn't even know. I'm having a little boy, Milo we've decided. I'm 21 weeks. Meet my baby daddy, Daniel Humphrey." Georgina introduced him, already knowing of them knowing him.

" Humphrey?" Blair asked, clearly shocked by the name.

" yes, Dan Humphrey." Dan confirmed, giving her a hand to shake and she took it.

" by any chance are you Jenny Humphrey's brother?" Blair inquired, her eyebrows scrunching.

" yeah, she's my little sister. Blair Waldorf am I right? She works for your mothers company, she's a couple years younger than us." Dan smiles.

" Jenny was a minion of mine in Borderland as well, small world." Blair's head nodded in thought.

" G, Dan, good to ... um see you." Serena nervously said with a extremely fake smile on her tense face.

" S, it's great! Who's your baby daddy? I'm not guessing Charlie because he's your brother in a weird way unless you tried incest. I didn't expect any better from you, you are a little slut, right?" Georgina snarled at them.

" Georgina, don't start now, there are children and pregnant women who don't need this drama around. Go sign us up, I'll finish here." Dan calmed her down and she reluctantly did what he said. " I'm sorry for her, hormones are running around her body like crazy."

" I didn't know she had an everlasting pregnancy of 26 years, it's not hormones. It's her personality." Blair moaned as she and Serena slumped onto a pair of beanbags.

" unless I want Milo to be sent of to a convent or military camp, I have to stand her. Trust me, most difficult thing I've ever had to do." Dan sighed, his body relaxing against a wall.

" Yeah, well try growing up with the girl." Nate said through his teeth, helping Serena stand up after her legs started to cramp.

" you know her?" Dan questioned with his finger pointing at Chuck, Nate and Serena.

" she was my party buddy," Serena confessed.

" my worst enemy," Nate seethed.

" only because she was my first time." Chuck corrected only to see a tongue poked out by Nate.

" Georgina really makes an impression," Dan said as he rubbed his temples, staring at Serena.

" you can say that again." Blair smiled, everyone laughed. "Just make sure she doesn't ruin this thing we have going on, it's the closest we've gotten to normal in a while. Humphrey, if you could do that for me then I owe you one. Blair Waldorf never owes anyone but for my baby and my niece or nephew, I would owe you the world."

" I'll try my best but I don't know if I can control the uncontrollable. You don't know me anything, it's a favour from employer' daughter to employees brother." Dan promised before walking off to a whining Georgina.

" these weeks are getting weird and weirder. Next thing I know Daddy will be straight again because he's really a female." Blair said as Chuck helped her stand from the bean bags. Too low for a pregnant woman.

Weird and weirder is probably the best term for it.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Two weeks had past and nothing from Georgina which made everyone nervous. Having her back meant something came along with her but nothing. Not even Chuck's PI can pull anything up on except for a few spottings of Dan at cafes, libraries and baby stores. Georgina completely vanished.

At fifteen weeks pregnant, the women were especially agitated by the fact that the bitch hadn't been found. The scheming couldn't be done because of baby brain and peeing took up most of the day. By the time scheming came it was 10pm in the night and they were tired aswell as the men. The babies are the size of a pear and of course another photo was taken. A navel orange was last weeks photo shoot.

Today was the last day of the fifteen week chapter of their pregnancy and they had decided to spend it scheming. Everyone's work cancelled, no interruptions and no distractions so they can find out Georgina's real intention for being in town. The living room of the Empire was their location and their target was Georgina Sparks.

" so what do we have on her?" Serena said and pulled out a whiteboard Blair had asked her to acquire.

" nothing, for being a party girl and drug dealer she has a blank slate. No criminal record, no past arrested, not even a parking ticket. She can't drive but still, she's squeaky clean." Blair declared, huffing and puffing until she blew a pillow down.

" there has got to be something, she's knows all our secrets and we don't know any of hers." Nate sighed as he picked the recently blown down pillow up and fluffing it.

" that's it, what has she got on us that will ruin our lives? She wants to blackmail us into doing something for her but if we can clean up our messes then she can't blackmail us into doing what she wants us to do." Serena beamed, clearly pleased with her new found confidence in pure and evil scheming.

" that's actually a great idea." Blair rewarded her with a smile and a pat on the back.

" mine is not actually the Pete thing, the police and my parents know. Georgina must have photos of me partying off my tits on something. We can release a statement to clear that up and say I was addicted now I'm clean." Serena suggested.

" yes, if we do that then you get a pity and admiration vote. Mine must be my bulimia, we summered together so she must have caught me. The sex is nothing new, loads of people know about that but not my bulimia. I can run a campaign on the behalf of Waldorf Designs about eating disorders and give my story. It works better for me to get it out there and the publicity for my mother." Blair announced, hugging Serena on her side.

" Georgina was one of the few people that knew about my male prostitute days. That's it, it's got to be. I have no way of getting out of this." Nate squirmed as he said his past 'profession.'

" We could pay off your _employer_ who could give her proof to say nothing and then Gossip Girl and the tabloids have nothing. It's a long shot but we have to at least try." Chuck commented with a large tumbler of scotch in his hand. It was 11:30am.

" what about you Chuck? She most definitely has something on you." Blair said as she watched a very nervous Chuck squirm in his seat.

" I lost my virginity young, she could use it against the reparability of Bass Industries and The Empire. It could bring me down from head in seconds." Chuck lied and gulped down his scotch.

" so what do we do to stop it? She has no proof unless she made a sex tape that young but we can't say no to anything when it comes to Georgina." Blair concluded with a bitch smile on her face.

" Can't have, it was in the girls bathroom during a lunch break. Our phones barely took decent photos, a video would be rubbish." Nate told the group.

" Chuck, you have no decency. You told your best friend about it being in a bathroom." Serena cringed with a disgusted face.

" where was your first Serena?" Chuck asked with a smirk on his face, Serena sat there and said nothing. Embarrassed. " See, you can't judge me. Your as just as sane as I am."

" Stop quoting Harry Potter and get back to our plan. What does she have on you?" Blair abruptly asked, clearly bored of the conversation.

" nothing, she has nothing on me." Chuck stated.

" okay, I'm texting my mother and then we will have the charity gala in a few day. Bass will have to find some of it because it's so soon but the company can pull out after a week of funding it." Blair said as she pulled out her phone.

**Mother. I am creating a charity and would love it if Waldorf Designs could fund part of it. It would bring great publicity and show support. Text me back x - B **

" I've texted my publicity manager and he has said to release the _addiction_ at the gala. It would be a great place for me and Blair to show of our pregnancy bumps for the first time." Serena announced, rubbing her small bump that had finally started to show.

" great! I've sent my own PI to find Catherine, after her husband found out about the affair, they moved back to England." Nate said, placing his hand on Serena's bump.

**Darling, that would be amazing. Just text me back later and I'll send you the sum. Hope to see you soon, the Gala can be in two days because I'm in London next week x **

" the Gala is on for two days, mothers in London next week so we haven't got a lot of time." Blair beamed, a slight sad smile on her face.

" well that's good, I can send your mother in the Bass jet and on its way back it can pick up Catherine." Chuck offered, his hands almost reaching Blair's stomach then retracting.

" okay, we are sorted. Me and Blair will be shopping tomorrow and working for the rest of the day to make up for tomorrow. Okay?" Serena smiled, obviously excited for the Gala and shopping.

" okay, let's go S. You've got to help me with the Lawrence case, drugs involved. I don't know my drugs." Blair laughed and walked out with Serena. The men went back to their work, happy that their partners were happy.

XOXOXOXOXO

The Gala came quickly. The excitement and shopping left no time to think through everything, the plan was in place and that was the only plan. Except for the one Chuck had in case of need but that was pretty unlikely with Blair on his team.

A red Valentino was Blair's choice. Classic 50's curls with bright cherry red lips. Size 7 red pumps and diamonds that sparkled brighter than the sun. Serena went more modern with a bright yellow short flowing summer dress. Her blonde hair was down with pieces of hair plaited, she still didn't know how to use a brush. Size 9 gold high heels and gold jewellery to match.

Chuck was in a classic black suit with a white shirt. Hair sleeked back and large black shoes. Nate wore a grey suit with a bright yellow tie to match Serena. They looked very handsome. Excactly like an Upper East Sider husband should look, smart and classy but sexy and secretive.

It was the night of the Gala and the guests were arriving. The four were sitting at a table set especially for them, talking about the plan. Georgina and Dan were invited, they were going to release the girls story and have the audience and press ask question about them. Georgina would have nothing on them in the end and they would win. Again.

" so we have our plan, stick to it and we should be fine." Blair said as she sipped her water from a flute glass that she wished was filled with champagne.

" The speeches are in five minutes, I've asked the stage people and the microphones will be passed to you." Nate explained as he looked up from the phone he had been texting the stage crew from.

" I've paid the reporters and given them the questions. Everything is going as planned." Chuck smiled with glee.

" I need a pee before the speech so goodbye." Blair laughed and held her pregnant belly as she stood.

" wait for me, I'm pregnant too." Serena yelled at Blair in the distant before waddling off after her.

" are you doing to tell her?" Nate asked monotonously, clearly mad at Chuck.

" I can't. It'll hurt her bad and with the baby she doesn't need that type of stress. Let me tell her when she is calm and not in this sort of event. I'll tell her, trust me." Chuck promised, his fingers fidgeting with the table cloth.

" I can't trust you, not after what I've learnt. You tell her or I will. Not tonight but in two days after her mothers left and the girls have had their tests. Tomorrow is not the day, it's a day to check the babies are safe. Two days." Nate said, pulling up two fingers.

" two days." Chuck confirmed. The women were back and they had been called for their speeches, the men followed up the stage after them to show their support.

" Hello, I'm Blair Cornelia Waldorf, the daughter of Eleanor Waldorf and heir to Waldorf Designs. I'm here today to discuss the new charity I have set up that Waldorf Designs has funded aswell as my boyfriends company Bass Industries. This charity is about eating disorders and to help people with them. I, myself, had bulimia from the age of 13 to 18. It was one of the most difficult times of my life but I had the money to get the help and therapy. Some children don't. With the money we raise I am going to help teenagers who may not have the money to get help and even the children with money. I want children to get the help they need to see they are beautiful and sensational. I want you to help me help them. Any questions? " Blair revealed and earned a gasp from the crowd before clapping.

" Why are you releasing this information now?" The first reporter asked, raising one hand and holding a pencil and notepad in the other.

" my baby. That's the only answer I can give you. Since being pregnant I have had a new outlook on life and I would never want anyone to feel the way I felt. I don't want my child to feel like that. I want to feel proud of my body when my feet are a distant memory and stretch marks paint my body." Blair answered, still keeping the fake smile on her blushing face.

" Are you and Mr Bass excited about the new addition to the Bass empire? Will you teach the child the same morals as you have?" The next reporter inquired.

" Mr Bass and I are very excited for Baby Bass, we couldn't be happier. I want my child to understand its self worth and others worth. I want them to understand how amazing they are without make up and fancy dresses. So yes, I will teach my child to be proud to be themselves." Blair smiled, the fake smile slowly turning into a real one.

" What about Miss Van Der Woodsen and Mr Archibald?" The final reporter asked.

" I'll let them answer themselves." Blair handed the microphone to Serena who gave a small nervous smile.

" first I would like to say how proud I am of my best friend and brother. Nate and I are welcoming our first child in May and we couldn't be more happy but with Blair telling one of her biggest secrets, I feel like I should tell you mine. When I was younger, I was an addict. I took anything and everything just to get a buzz. Now after intense rehab and thought, I am finally ready to announce that I'm clean and sober. I've never felt better. I am donating 500,000 to a mental health and addicts centre to show my support. Please donate what you can." Serena pleaded. They all saw Georgina across the room with a huge scowl on her face. Having your entire scheme ripped to shreds in five minutes was awful.

The four left their stage and shook hands and greeted the people that came and met them. Smiling from ear to ear, laughing and joking heard throughout the entire room. Until the female devil incarnate walked to them, very clearly angry.

" you've ruined my plan, fuck you!" Georgina yelled with Dan following like a puppy.

" I'm sorry, G but we are in a public event for charity will you please keep your voice down and use proper language." Blair said patronisingly.

" No! You've ruined it but I have more. I always have more!" Georgina squealed, dispelsased and bitchy and also very hormonal from being pregnant.

" like what? Nate's prostitution days. Not going to work, we've already covered it up." Serena snarled, hands on hip in a 'I'm better than you' mode.

" I have more than that and you should know. I'm Georgie, G, Georgina Sparks, always expect more." Georgina spat, droplets of spit landing on Blair's head. She wiped it away with a look of disgust.

" try me bitch," Blair threatened, Chuck split up the cat fight.

" Charlie, can we talk alone?" Georgina said fluttering her long thick with mascara eyelashes.

" five minutes, outside now. I don't want my girlfriend to wait long." Chuck jabbed, kissing Blair's temple and smirking at Georgina's scorned look. Jealousy was the funniest expression. They walked outside, Georgina wanting the conversation to last while Chuck wanted to leave. " what do you want?"

" I want to talk about us," Georgina flirted, grabbing Chuck's arm before he pushed her off.

" the only us we can talk about is how us never existed. We were twelve, get the fuck over it." Chuck snarled, wiping the non existent dirt of his suit jacket.

" don't forget about five months ago. My daddy was in a meeting with you about The Empire, we had hot sex on your desk. Did you manage to get your papers in order or were they a bit sticky and rumpled?" Georgina unfortunately reminded him.

" it lasted ten minutes and it meant nothing. You mean nothing." Chuck stated, hands clenching in pure fury.

" does your baby mean anything? Not Baby Waldorf but Baby Sparks. You know, our child." Georgina smiled her evil smile at him.

" I paid you off, you said you weren't going to say anything. Keep your fucking promise. Keep your fucking mouth shut!" Chuck yelled, anger welling in his eyes and stomach. Sick. He felt sick. Not with the anger but with guilt. One for Blair, how he hadn't even told her about his son or that he had even slept with her again. Two for his son, the unborn fétus held in Georgina's stomach. The child that will never know it's father but what Dan could give. His son deserved way better. His son deserved a mother like Blair.

" I don't make promises, unless you pay me 30,000,000 by tomorrow night she won't know a thing. Make sure it's in British money, I'm on the run and need it so... what will it be?" Georgina chuckled, proud of herself.

" I'll get you the money." Chuck snapped.

" then your dear little girlfriend with never know the truth. Ta Ta Charlie." Georgina said goodbye before wandering back into the building. Laughing. That fucking stupid laugh that ruined lives. That was ruining Chuck's life. That was ruining Milo's life.

_My life was one very long process of lying and lying again, to figure out how to cover those other lies. Like a stock graph, there's going to be exceptions in this. But the general trend of the stories is that they started out with a few made up details and quotes. And granted a few too many, of course. But a few. And then they progressed into stories that were completely fabricated. Just completely made up out of whole cloth._

_-_

_Stephen Glass_


	5. My Friends

The exile of Georgina Sparks happened quickly in Blair's mind but in Chuck's it was only just beginning. The 30 million pound at been acquired and was ready to give, cash in hand. First they had the doctors appointment then Chuck would sneak away, pay the women then life would return back to normal. Hopefully.

Chuck and Blair sat in the doctors office, hoping for the best for their baby. Wishing that everything was okay and in a short few 4-5 months their baby would be there in their arms, sleeping away. Chuck was already nervous about the whole Georgina fiasco and now with this, he was a wreck. The doctor walked back into the room.

" I have a suspicion but I will need to do a sonogram, I know I said not another one till 20 weeks but I do need one now. I may be wrong but I don't think so," Anne said, a smile filling her older face. " jump up onto the bed and we'll go from there."

Blair did as she was told, changed into a hospital gown and laid on the bed. The gel was squirted on her stomach, it was slightly cold but didn't bother Blair who was slightly agitated.

The thumping started and the tears immediately poured down Blair's face. Chuck wiped them away with his thumb, closing his eyes to listen. It was amazing. The doctor smiled, she was right. She must have been right in what she thought.

" you have two healthy babies!" Anne squealed.

" two?!" The brunettes said in union.

" yes, we saw you early in your pregnancy and we must have missed it. You said about the spotting and you had an elevated hCG level. Look you can see them." Anne pointed at the screen and surely enough two grey little blobs were on it.

" two. Wow. Is everything okay?" Chuck asked stunned at the recent revelation.

" one thing we will have to check is that they share a placenta, these are monochorionic twins and one baby could transfer blood to the other. From what I can see on here they are identical, we will have to do more test but right now everyones okay. But Blair, i need you to put more weight on. You are nearly not gaining enough for one but two, you need to almost double your weight gain." Anne explained, placing the wand back down. " I will give you a moment alone." She then walked out of the room leaving a very stunned couple on the bed.

" two babies, Blair. It's amazing." Chuck blubbered, warm tears dribbling down his cheek.

" Chuck..." there was slight hesitation in her voice, "we've created two lives. Two babies. I'm going to be a mommy to two, I can't wait." Blair cried into his shoulder as he hugged her. The warmth of his body warming up hers.

" Names! We can have a Gertrude and Mildred, it'll be great!" Chuck exclaimed as he pulled Blair in closer than ever before.

" it won't be great if our children are called Mildred and Gertrude. Children. It sounds so weird." Blair laughed, her hands squeezing his shoulder.

" it'll be great because you and my children are there. We have to tell Nate and Serena," Chuck stated, pulling out his phone to text his sister.

**S, meet me at Birdhouse in 30mins, bring Nate 2. C U then - C **

It didn't take long for a reply.

**We have our appointment in 20mins, we can meet in an hour xxx - S **

**We'll C U then, hope all is well - C **

" we are meeting at Birdhouse in an hour, we should go home and talk this through." Chuck said, pulling his face from his phone.

" there is nothing to talk through, I want you and only you. I'm happy as long as your are. Are you happy?" Blair questioned sweetly, an innocent smile on her pale face.

" I've never been happier, now you go and change. I have an errand to run and I'll meet you at Birdhouse." Chuck said before kissing her temple and waving goodbye.

His legs were shaking as he left the room, slightly joy, slightly fear. The joy he felt for having twins was overpowering but the fear still slipped through the cracks, almost paralysing him. Chuck wasn't scared of Georgina, it was the pregnancy stomach. The stomach that held the oldest of his children, trapped inside that satanic women. Everytime he saw it, it reminded him that that was his son, maybe his only or his second or third. Milo had brothers and/or sisters that were going to get the love that he deserved while he's shipped away with Georgina and Humphrey.

As Chuck slipped into his limo, a text beeped from his phone. Blair had sent him a picture of the newly printed sonogram, the two babies visible. Then a recording came through, his children's heartbeats began playing. A single tear slipped down his cheek and he continued listening to it. Reminding of the family he had to go home to while his son was left. Chuck Bass never felt guilt but now he did and he hated it. The sick in his mouth, the pain in his head and the shooting pain in his heart did nothing but numb the sadness, giving power to the guilt. His phone beeped again.

**Hi baby. I'm in a cab now, can't wait to share our news. Did you see the picture? It's definitely going to be framed and put on the wall xxx - B **

Chuck's hands reached and wiped his eyes, clearing his vision to study the sonogram again. He still saw the same, his two children. He replied.

**Hi baby. I saw it and I agree, the nursery and our offices would be nice. Get home safe and I'll see you soon x - C **

The first smile in the last ten minutes curled up his face. Milo must have a sonogram somewhere, he desperately wanted to see it. To see his baby but lying to Blair and the cover up coming out would hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do.

The limo pulled up outside JFK and Chuck quickly jumped out and noticed Georgina in a blonde wig, no Dan insight. He was confused, Dan was playing the father, right?

" Charlie have you got my money? My planes leaves in twenty and I need to go. Now!" Georgina snarled as she put her hand out waiting for the briefcase in Chuck's hand to be passed over. He didn't let it go.

" where's Dan?" Chuck inquired.

" he didn't want to run and I told him he wasn't the father. He's not coming. Just me and Milo." Georgina explained before putting her hand out again to be rejected again. " unless you want B to know, I would recommend you pass it over."

" no..." he managed to let out. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

" What do you mean no? Give me the cash or I blab to little miss perfect." Georgina yelled, alerting a few people of her presence.

" I want to see my son, I will deal with Blair. After he is born you can leave and I will raise him alone." Chuck seethed, throwing the suitcase back into the limo. A smirk of victory on his face.

" I can't and you know that. I've got Russian spies after me and pretty much any law system." Georgina whined and then noticed the large suited men walking towards her.

" these men are Don and Lee, you are going to jail for a long time. When Milo is born I will raise him alone along with my twins. Rot in hell bitch." Chuck spat before slipping back into his limo. _How I love to win,_ he thought as he drunk from the flask stored in his car in case of emergencies.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena and Nate sat in the doctors office, almost identical to the one Chuck and Blair had just been in. The doctor had run the same tests and the same answers came back.

" twins." The doctor announced and the couple cried and squealed. Well, Serena squealed.

" are they identical? Are they okay? This is great I can't wait." Serena smiled at the doctor who immediately returned the smile when seeing his happy her patient was.

" they are not identical and are perfectly fine. Their heartbeats are strong. Have a look," The midwife pointed at the screen. Nate and Serena found the tiny blobs moments later and cried. Tears pouring down both their faces.

" what about gender? I'm sixteen weeks." Serena gushed, over the moon.

" I can say but I do not advise it as I could be wrong. Do you want to know now or at 20 weeks?" The doctor explained, the couple had a long thought and then decided.

" we want to know," Nate and Serena decided with a huge grin on their faces.

" okay, well from what I can see you have one boy and one girl." The doctor smiled and left the room to give them some space.

" Nate, twins. A boy and a girl. This is fantastic." Serena chirped, her hands holding Nate's.

" i love this, I love them, I love you." Nate admitted and immediately turned red.

" I love you too," Serena expressed, her lips puckering up and Nate took them. The kiss stirred slow but turned passionate. Nate's hand played with a strand of her blonde locks, brushing a few behind her ear. They pulled apart and smiled at eachother before sharing another kiss. " you are the perfect baby daddy,"

" and you, Serena Van Der Woodsen are the best baby mama. Now let's get you dressed before Chuck and Blair kill us for being late." Nate laughed, passing Serena her jeans and t-shirt. She grabbed them and quickly changed, laughing all the way.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Four friends walked into the restaurant, sat in a small table in the corner and began to order. Water was the only thing drunk and the conversation began.

The food was served and everyone sat in an unexpected silence. They ate slowly, sipping their waters every few bites. Nate stared at his shoes, Serena was to interested in her food to notice his discomfort. Chuck ordered a scotch and Blair played with her food. Pushing it back and forth on her plate.

" one of you is keeping a secret and I will find out who it is and what it is. Tell me or you with suffer the wrath of Blair Waldorf," Blair demanded, her eyes glaring at each of her friends.

" No one is keeping a secret, Blair. You are being paranoid," Chuck declared, he planted a kiss on her forehead.

" I am not being paranoid!" Blair raised her voice, pushing Chuck away from her with a forceful hand.

" calm down, B, we are in a public place. There is no secret," Serena pleaded with her, shoving a piece of chicken in her mouth.

" I don't care, you are all keeping something from me. You have all barely looked at me." Blair shouted. People from all over the restaurant stared at her with disgust.

" Blair, you need to calm down. Your making a scene." Chuck said, he squeezed her thigh but she pushed him away. Again.

" I don't care." She was shushed by a waiter. " okay, I'm sorry but I need to know," Blair calmed down, crossing her arms in defiance.

" there is nothing for you to know, okay?" Chuck said, trying to touch her but being rejected again.

She knew she wasn't going to win this battle and slouched back in her seat in defiance. Rolling her eyes like the Queen B she was.

" okay," Blair huffed and continued to eat her lunch in complete silence.

" So we have some good news." Chuck started up a conversation, trying to change the tense subject. Rubbing his hands together.

" we do too, very good news." Nate said as he ate his steak, looking up slightly.

"Blair do you want to tell them or should I?" Chuck asked, Blair immediately perked up.

" we are having identical twins." Blair announced.

" no way! We are having twins too. Not identical but still twins. B, this is amazing. My love having twins when I am." Serena laughed, holding her stomach. The quiet filled the room again, all four sat in silence again, saying nothing again.

" we got rid of Georgina," Blair stated, she smiled and swirled her water.

" I feel sorry for you Chuck, her being your baby mama and all. " Serena let out, gasping when knowing what she had done. Pregnancy brain.

" what do you mean? Serena tell me. " Blair inquired, her mind spinning with confusion.

" Milo's father is Chuck," Nate answered instead of Serena, knowing she would be in trouble with Chuck later and taking the main part of the fall.

" Chuck?" Blair turned her attention to a jaw dropped Chuck.

" Blair, please..." Chuck tried, grabbing her shaking hand.

" no... please tell me they are lying." Blair said, squeezing his hand that was entwined with his.

" I am the biological father of Milo Sparks, I told Nate when she came back. He must of told Serena. I didn't tell you because it would hurt you." Chuck said, her hand pulled back and a tear slipped down her face.

" you slept with her ages ago, that was years ago. Oh god, you slept with her again," Blair cried, wiping her tears. Her hands clutching her chest, it was hard to breath.

" Blair I'm sorry," Chuck tried.

" no, the one person who tried to break up our relationship is the mother of your child. You slept with her again. It's like me sleeping with that stranger again." Blair yelled, gulping her water down her dry throat.

" it was one time five months ago, I was drunk, she was drunk and it just happened. Five months later Milo is on his way and I paid her to leave. She came back and I had her arrested. That was my errand." Chuck tried again, only to be cut off again by Blair.

" I'm done with the games, the excuses and the lies. We are not teenagers anymore, children are involved. Im done with this. We are done, see you in court. Actually, just to hurt you a bit, i'll move to France with daddy and Roman. Goodbye." and with that Blair stormed out of the restaurants. Her hips swaying, curls bouncing and everyone's heads turning.

_God, why did I tell? _Chuck thought.

_I hate him so much _Blair thought.

_My best friends leaving _Serena thought.

_I should have kept my mouth shut _Nate thought.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Two weeks passed and Blair was trapped in her room. No one had seen or heard from her, it was as if she had vanished. Disappeared without a trace. They all tried to get her to move or talk the first few days but then they wanted to give her space and leave her alone for a while.

It was a Tuesday morning, three out of the four friends sat at the table and ate burnt toast. Normally Blair made a delicious breakfast before they had work and it would be ready for when they wake up but since her breakdown she hadn't moved from her room. Until this morning.

A very tired Blair entered the kitchen, her eyes bloodshot with tears and fatigue. She was covered from head to toe, you couldn't even see her feet. A red thick woolly robe that reached to her feet and her tartan pyjamas peeped through. Her hair was a mess. Unbrushed, untamed and over curly.

" morning," Blair greeted her friends, and well her ex boyfriend.

" morning, B," Serena sighed, the room smelt of sick, lavender and hairspray now she had entered.

" Blair, only my friends call me B." Blair put a few pieces of toast in the toaster then turned the heat down a few notches. _Are they purposely trying to burn the toast! _she thought.

" okay, I've had enough of this. What the hell has happened to you?" Nate stood up and yelled at her. Startling her a bit, Nate never yelled.

" the Upper East Side happened, I'm dealing with it. It might not be the normal way I deal with it but I've had enough of sticking my fingers down my throat." Blair screamed back, sipping her strong black coffee.

" you haven't?" Serena asked worriedly, her blue eyes glistening with fear.

" no" Blair announced, " I'm doing this instead and I'm quite enjoying it,"

" this isn't you, let me help you." Serena pleaded.

" you don't know me. Deal with that or you will end up as sad as anyone on the UES." Blair folded her arms, drunk her decaf coffee and bit her toast.

" we have fifteen minutes till work," Chuck reminded everyone, nodding towards Serena and Nate.

" give me ten minutes, I'll get dressed and actually move today. Bye," Blair said, she annoyed her friends and waved her tiny hand before slipping away upstairs.

Walking up the stairs, her legs felt weak as if she was going to fall at any moment. Step by step, the visual of Chuck and Georgina grew clearer and clearer, futher angering the out of hate in her stomach.

Blair's room smelt of sick and when she walked in, it was boiling. She opened her window and let in some air. It felt good. Blair then turned to her mirror and saw her reflection. This wasn't her. This mess infront of her wasn't her.

The deep brown curls of this woman in front of her were tangle and greasy. The bags underneath her eye were large and prominent. It didn't help that her eyes were also blood shot with however long she hadn't slept. Her body wasn't sexy and she looked this a commoner, way to much for her liking.

Within seconds her wrist was raised to the mirror and then the glass smashed. Her knuckles bled and her sobs echoed through the silent house. Her heavy breathing shook her entire body as she slid down her bedroom door.

Louds steps were heard running upstairs, high heels clicked and the sharp heels of men shoes tapped on the wooden floor. The knocks on the door vibrated down to her petite body lying against it.

" Blair what happened?!" Chuck shouted, his fist banging against the door. Worry filled his every word.

" B, open the door!" Serena screamed, Blair could hear her sobs. Blair's hand reached up and clicked the lock. There was no way they could get in now.

She lifted her tiny body and sat on the floor of the bathroom. She stared at her old friend, the white porcelain bowl. Her middle and pointer finger lifted together and reached her lips. Slowly they went in her mouth and the contents of her stomach were shortly in the toilet. Her tears turned into sobs, then there was a loud bang.

A breathless Chuck run into the bathroom and grabbed her. Held her. Serena came in shortly after, grabbing her best friend and hugged her. Her head rested in Blair's neck, smelling the faint remainder of Blair's perfume. Nate was shocked, he had been there the last time her bulimia had started. Memories flashed of finding her lying on the bathroom floor unconscious. Her small body being rushed into the hospital. Wires and tubes attached to her.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Blair whispered into Serena's blonde hair. Her chest lifting heavily with her breath.

" you have nothing to be sorry for, just promise this is the first and last time this happens," Serena whispered back, she shuddered at the thought of her best friend doing this to herself.

" I promise" Blair mumbled, her eyes darted to Chuck. She let go of Serena and ran into his arms. Tears continued to roll down her face. Serena and Nate took this as a sign to leave and did just that.

" Blair Waldorf, I need you to know that you are perfection. A masterpiece. A poem perfected the first time. Don't you dare change that, I love that Blair. I need you to know I'm sorry, for everything." Chuck held her close and mumbled in her ear.

" I forgive you but I can't forget. You are unforgettable." Blair rasped, finally catching her breath.

" don't give up on us, let me love you." Chuck begged in a whisper, playing with a strand of her brown hair.

" I can't. If I let you love me then someday I'll get hurt. I can't hurt again, not the way I do when I'm with you." Blair explained, her brown eyes locking with his hazel.

" I'm not going to fight you, if you want to go then go. Just don't drag it out. It's hurting me to see you in pain so just go. Run. Be free and when you are okay come back and see me." Chuck said, tucking that strand of hair behind her ear.

" I'm leaving, anywhere. I could go backpacking or a holiday for a month. I'll be back, I promise you. I love you, Chuck Bass." Blair swayed her body with him, resting her head on his chest.

" I love you too, Blair Waldorf."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

JFK was the location. Three friends stood and watched as a small brunette boards the plane. A real smile finally appearing on her face, her body jumping with joy. All three adults phone buzzed.

**_Hello my little dolls, _**

**_When I was away a lot seemed to unfold. C and B having twins, identical even. S is having twins of her own and N was seen cuddling up to S. Looks like they don't need me to get into trouble! _**

**_Now only a few weeks after the group had begun, B was seen boarding a plane. Tears were shed, hearts were broke but what do I care? The drama was to die for!_**

**_Also G who is your baby Daddy? _**

**_Dearies get looking, I want my gossip by the end of the day. With a reward of course, I'm never indebted. _**

**_XOXO _**

**_Gossip Girl _**

" she just can't stop," Serena sighed, pushing her phone back into her red coat pocket.

" we will have to stop this, coffee tomorrow morning at Sugar." Chuck fumed and stormed off, staring at the gate once more. Wishing Blair would walk back through and they would live happily ever after.

" it's okay Serena, he's just hurting," Nate said, he pulled her in for a hug, both staring at the plane that was about to go in the air.

" I hope she gets better off this, Dr Ostroff even said that getting away from here may be best but backpacking. Blair doesn't backpack." Serena talked, she played with the collar on his shirt.

" if this is what she wants and stops her from doing whatever she was doing then let her go. In a month a very happy Blair will come home." Nate explained, kissing her temple, she giggled.

" a month and then Blair and Chuck will finally be a little family. I seriously can't wait, the wedding, the first and second Waldorf-Bass and the christening." Serena imagined, swaying in her spot.

" don't get ahead of yourself, have our babies first then Chuck and Blair's kids. Probably our wedding then we can worry about Chuck and Blair," Nate said, swaying with her hips.

" you want to marry me?" Serena asked.

" of course, but let's have the twins first then I will ask you in a romantic way and then our big fairy tale wedding will be set." Nate replied, kissing her gently on the lips.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, I love you," Serena said with a huge smile on her face, even her teeth were showing.

" Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen, I love you too," Nate said back, passionately kissing her lips.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The next morning came quick. Chuck was already sitting in Sugar with a huge cup of coffee in his hand. He noticed the two blondes walking through the doors and waved to alert them of where he was. They soon joined him, cooing over the baby on the next table.

" Anyone else get a text from Blair?" Serena asked suddenly, unexpectedly no one else did.

" no, what did she text you?" Chuck demanded her to answer, the worry welling up inside him.

" just a photo and a few words" Serena picked up her phone and showed them the picture of Blair. She was in a sports bra and sports leggings with a large bag on her back. Her hair was sandy but the smile on her face was genuine. She was happy. The message read ' _S, my friends call me Blair but my best friend calls me B. So call me B, bestie.' _

" she looks happy," Nate pointed out, smiling at the picture. It was great to see Blair happy.

" well she won't be when Gossip Girl tells the world about Milo's heritage. He's a Bass even though I hate to say it. They will be able to work it about in seconds if they catch a glimpse of Georgina anywhere near me a few months ago." Chuck said, staring intently at the picture.

" what can we do?" Serena asked putting her phone back in her bag.

" we need to scheme without the biggest baddest bitch of the Upper East Side. Any ideas?" Chuck said, his hands gesturing that _anything _was welcome.

" blackmail, we need to find something to blackmail Gossip Girl with," Nate suggested, pleased with himself.

" what do we have against Gossip Girl?" Chuck questioned them, sipping his black coffee.

" nothing, she is a clean slate. No dirt to be traced. That's it." Serena smiled, grabbing her phone out again.

" what's it?" Nate asked, sipping his own milky coffee.

" you'll see," Serena smirked and at that moment a beep went off. Phones.

**Gossip girl here, **

**I was searching for G baby's heritage but seems no clues but I can do one better for you. S and N twins are a boy and girl. We are set for the IT girl and white knight for the UES, just needing the devil and Queen B. Who will that be? I guess we'll find out. Retract your claws kitties, I've got my dirt today. **

**XOXO **

**Gossip Girl **

Chuck and Nate read the new blast, they looked up with open mouths and wide eyes. She just laughed, it was actually a funny picture.

" S, why did you do that?" Chuck stared at her with his dark eyes, smirking his signature smirk.

" I did it for my sister," Serena explained, rubbing her growing bump. " I don't care if these babies genders are spread across the world without me wanting it, it's just want Blair to be happy."

" and she will be," Nate and Chuck said together then went back to their coffee and teas.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair texted one of them every few days, a picture and a few words. Nothing more, nothing less. She had left on January 6th and was going to be gone until the 9th of February.

**January 11th - **Blair had sent Nate a picture of her infront of the Grand Canyon, the message read '_you never forget you first love, even if he was an ass!" _

**January 15th - **Blair sent Serena a picture of her in a large old temple, it was beautiful. ' _S, I'm messed up and broken but you always help fix me piece by piece. You are my super glue.' _The message was sweet and Serena had even cried.

**Febuary 2nd - **Chuck was the next recipient of a photo of Blair. Her hair was long and flowing, in desperate need for a cut. Well if you was an UESdr. She was in a large desert, lying on the sand. Smiling. ' _just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you.' _

**Febuary 4th - **Serena recieved another text, this one was of Blair underneath a water fall in a tiny bikini. Her hands were pushing back her hair and her lips were in a pout. Her bump definitely growing, she looked bigger. _' S, i am so lucky to have you, sexy people do attract.' _

**Febuary 5th - **The final text was to Chuck, the was no photo just a message.'_That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.- don't let them die because I love you, Chuck Bass.' _

Today was the day she returned, everyone's stomach churned, breath run fast. Hearts fluttering like a bird. Chuck met up with Serena and Nate there, smiles already plastering their faces. _Two minutes_. Chuck cradled his flask and walked to the gate with it and his friends. He was nervous like never before, even saying I love you was easier than this but it had to be done. _One minute_. The clocks ticked and the friends sat in silence. No one talked or moved or even breathed heavily. It was complete silence between them all.

A small pregnant tanned blondey brown woman walked in, she was smiling and laughing. Her bags barely weighed her down and she had a beat in her step. Serena noticed this woman was Blair and ran and huggged her.

" B! You look amazing, so tanned and blonde!" Serena squealed, pulling her friend in for another long hug.

" I feel amazing, a month away is really great but look at you. The twins have grown so much since the last time I saw you, you look great!" Blair screamed excitedly, rubbing her swelling stomach.

" Blair, i must say you are looking fabulous. The twins are getting big." Nate voice boomed throughout the airport, Blair ran and hugged him.

" well Nathaniel, I must say you are looking exceedingly handsome today." Blair returned the compliment and kissed his cheek.

" I know, I'm a handsome devil." Nate joked, Blair slapped his arm. The three friends laughed.

" Waldorf!" A raspy voice said from behind her, she saw him. Chuck Bass. He looked handsome, a little rugged but still very handsome.

Her body leapt onto him, her lips touched his. It started slow but they fastened the pace. When they pulled away for breath they both smiled.

" well that was a welcome and a half, good to see you Bass," Blair said, she linked her arm in his and the other arm went for her bump.

" what's with the blonde?" Chuck said as he played with a piece of her hair.

" the sun, I've been in it directly for a month, it's just lightened. Now I'm back in New York it should go back to brown," Blair said, she kissed his lips again. Butterfly kisses.

" let me just say the butterflies never died, still in my stomach fluttering." Chuck told her, placing his hand on her stomach, the other arm around her waist.

" my butterflies never died either," Blair spoke, her fingers gently brushing against his jaw, tracing the sharp edges.

" that was fast!" Nate said, walking over with a pregnant Serena clinging on his arm. Her best friend's smile was large and Blair knew what she had missed.

" still a boy and girl? " Blair asked, rolling her eyes at her best friends attempt to hide her emotions.

" how did you know I know what you don't know and desperately want to know?" Serena gushed, rubbing her belly slightly. Still holding Nate's arm.

" S, you have pregnancy brain. If I wasn't Blair Waldorf and also pregnant I would have no idea what you just said but as I am Blair Waldorf I know. Also as Blair Waldorf I know the ins and outs of Serena Van Der Woodsen," Blair declared, laughing at her friend, Nate still confused over Serena's comment.

" yes, they still are a boy and a girl. A penis hasn't turned into a vagina yet." Serena announced, pouring down at her stomach.

" let's get going my friends, I have a little scheme to get on with also." Blair said, taking the flask from Chucks hand and passing Chuck her bags.

" Queen B is back in buisness," Chuck smirked, placing her luggage at the bottom of a airport cart. Pushing it at the speed of his friends.

" She never left, but we all know a good queen takes time to plan her actions. That's excactly what I done, I hope the Upper East Side can handle it." Blair grabbed the handle of the awaiting limo and jumped in. Buckling herself in.

The remaining members of the NJBC turned and stared at eachother. All thinking the same thing, expression smiling but heads saying something else.

" is she serious?" Nate asked, opening the trunk and putting the bags in.

" I don't think she has ever been more serious," Serena spoke, looking at the space where Blair had just been.

" whatever Blair does, we have to make sure it doesn't backfire. She's fragile right now, we don't want the bulimia back." Chuck said, passing the last of the bags to Nate.

" The Upper East Side is definitely not ready but are we?" Serena questioned, staring Chuck right in his dark pools.

" only one way to find out," Chuck said, holding his hand out and opening the limo door. They all jumped and rode of into the sunset._ As if_.

_"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."_

_

– 

_

_Albert Schweitzer_


	6. My Friends (11-08 08:47:13)

The exile of Georgina Sparks happened quickly in Blair's mind but in Chuck's it was only just beginning. The 30 million pound had been acquired and was ready to give, cash in hand. First they had the doctors appointment then Chuck would sneak away, pay the women then life would return back to normal. Hopefully.

Chuck and Blair sat in the doctors office, hoping for the best for their baby. Wishing that everything was okay and in a short few 4-5 months their baby would be there in their arms, sleeping away. Chuck was already nervous about the whole Georgina fiasco and now with this, he was a wreck. The doctor walked back into the room.

" I have a suspicion but I will need to do a sonogram, I know I said not another one till 20 weeks but I do need one now. I may be wrong but I don't think so," Anne said, a smile filling her older face. " jump up onto the bed and we'll go from there."

Blair did as she was told, changed into a hospital gown and laid on the bed. The gel was squirted on her stomach, it was slightly cold but didn't bother Blair who was slightly agitated.

The thumping started and the tears immediately poured down Blair's face. Chuck wiped them away with his thumb, closing his eyes to listen. It was amazing. The doctor smiled, she was right. She must have been right in what she thought.

" you have two healthy babies!" Anne squealed.

" two?!" The brunettes said in union.

" yes, we saw you early in your pregnancy and we must have missed it. You said about the spotting and you had an elevated hCG level. Look you can see them." Anne pointed at the screen and surely enough two grey little blobs were on it.

" two. Wow. Is everything okay?" Chuck asked stunned at the recent revelation.

" one thing we will have to check is that they share a placenta, these are monochorionic twins and one baby could transfer blood to the other. From what I can see on here they are identical, we will have to do more test but right now everyones okay. But Blair, i need you to put more weight on. You are nearly not gaining enough for one but two, you need to almost double your weight gain." Anne explained, placing the wand back down. " I will give you a moment alone." She then walked out of the room leaving a very stunned couple on the bed.

" two babies, Blair. It's amazing." Chuck blubbered, warm tears dribbling down his cheek.

" Chuck..." there was slight hesitation in her voice, "we've created two lives. Two babies. I'm going to be a mommy to two, I can't wait." Blair cried into his shoulder as he hugged her. The warmth of his body warming up hers.

" Names! We can have a Gertrude and Mildred, it'll be great!" Chuck exclaimed as he pulled Blair in closer than ever before.

" it won't be great if our children are called Mildred and Gertrude. Children. It sounds so weird." Blair laughed, her hands squeezing his shoulder.

" it'll be great because you and my children are there. We have to tell Nate and Serena," Chuck stated, pulling out his phone to text his sister.

**S, meet me at Birdhouse in 30mins, bring Nate 2. C U then - C **

It didn't take long for a reply.

**We have our appointment in 20mins, we can meet in an hour xxx - S **

**We'll C U then, hope all is well - C **

" we are meeting at Birdhouse in an hour, we should go home and talk this through." Chuck said, pulling his face from his phone.

" there is nothing to talk through, I want you and only you. I'm happy as long as your are. Are you happy?" Blair questioned sweetly, an innocent smile on her pale face.

" I've never been happier, now you go and change. I have an errand to run and I'll meet you at Birdhouse." Chuck said before kissing her temple and waving goodbye.

His legs were shaking as he left the room, slightly joy, slightly fear. The joy he felt for having twins was overpowering but the fear still slipped through the cracks, almost paralysing him. Chuck wasn't scared of Georgina, it was the pregnancy stomach. The stomach that held the oldest of his children, trapped inside that satanic women. Everytime he saw it, it reminded him that that was his son, maybe his only or his second or third. Milo had brothers and/or sisters that were going to get the love that he deserved while he's shipped away with Georgina and Humphrey.

As Chuck slipped into his limo, a text beeped from his phone. Blair had sent him a picture of the newly printed sonogram, the two babies visible. Then a recording came through, his children's heartbeats began playing. A single tear slipped down his cheek and he continued listening to it. Reminding of the family he had to go home to while his son was left. Chuck Bass never felt guilt but now he did and he hated it. The sick in his mouth, the pain in his head and the shooting pain in his heart did nothing but numb the sadness, giving power to the guilt. His phone beeped again.

**Hi baby. I'm in a cab now, can't wait to share our news. Did you see the picture? It's definitely going to be framed and put on the wall xxx - B **

Chuck's hands reached and wiped his eyes, clearing his vision to study the sonogram again. He still saw the same, his two children. He replied.

**Hi baby. I saw it and I agree, the nursery and our offices would be nice. Get home safe and I'll see you soon x - C **

The first smile in the last ten minutes curled up his face. Milo must have a sonogram somewhere, he desperately wanted to see it. To see his baby but lying to Blair and the cover up coming out would hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do.

The limo pulled up outside JFK and Chuck quickly jumped out and noticed Georgina in a blonde wig, no Dan insight. He was confused, Dan was playing the father, right?

" Charlie have you got my money? My planes leaves in twenty and I need to go. Now!" Georgina snarled as she put her hand out waiting for the briefcase in Chuck's hand to be passed over. He didn't let it go.

" where's Dan?" Chuck inquired.

" he didn't want to run and I told him he wasn't the father. He's not coming. Just me and Milo." Georgina explained before putting her hand out again to be rejected again. " unless you want B to know, I would recommend you pass it over."

" no..." he managed to let out. Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

" What do you mean no? Give me the cash or I blab to little miss perfect." Georgina yelled, alerting a few people of her presence.

" I want to see my son, I will deal with Blair. After he is born you can leave and I will raise him alone." Chuck seethed, throwing the suitcase back into the limo. A smirk of victory on his face.

" I can't and you know that. I've got Russian spies after me and pretty much any law system." Georgina whined and then noticed the large suited men walking towards her.

" these men are Don and Lee, you are going to jail for a long time. When Milo is born I will raise him alone along with my twins. Rot in hell bitch." Chuck spat before slipping back into his limo. _How I love to win,_ he thought as he drunk from the flask stored in his car in case of emergencies.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena and Nate sat in the doctors office, almost identical to the one Chuck and Blair had just been in. The doctor had run the same tests and the same answers came back.

" twins." The doctor announced and the couple cried and squealed. Well, Serena squealed.

" are they identical? Are they okay? This is great I can't wait." Serena smiled at the doctor who immediately returned the smile when seeing his happy her patient was.

" they are not identical and are perfectly fine. Their heartbeats are strong. Have a look," The midwife pointed at the screen. Nate and Serena found the tiny blobs moments later and cried. Tears pouring down both their faces.

" what about gender? I'm sixteen weeks." Serena gushed, over the moon.

" I can say but I do not advise it as I could be wrong. Do you want to know now or at 20 weeks?" The doctor explained, the couple had a long thought and then decided.

" we want to know," Nate and Serena decided with a huge grin on their faces.

" okay, well from what I can see you have one boy and one girl." The doctor smiled and left the room to give them some space.

" Nate, twins. A boy and a girl. This is fantastic." Serena chirped, her hands holding Nate's.

" i love this, I love them, I love you." Nate admitted and immediately turned red.

" I love you too," Serena expressed, her lips puckering up and Nate took them. The kiss stirred slow but turned passionate. Nate's hand played with a strand of her blonde locks, brushing a few behind her ear. They pulled apart and smiled at eachother before sharing another kiss. " you are the perfect baby daddy,"

" and you, Serena Van Der Woodsen are the best baby mama. Now let's get you dressed before Chuck and Blair kill us for being late." Nate laughed, passing Serena her jeans and t-shirt. She grabbed them and quickly changed, laughing all the way.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Four friends walked into the restaurant, sat in a small table in the corner and began to order. Water was the only thing drunk and the conversation began.

The food was served and everyone sat in an unexpected silence. They ate slowly, sipping their waters every few bites. Nate stared at his shoes, Serena was to interested in her food to notice his discomfort. Chuck ordered a scotch and Blair played with her food. Pushing it back and forth on her plate.

" one of you is keeping a secret and I will find out who it is and what it is. Tell me or you with suffer the wrath of Blair Waldorf," Blair demanded, her eyes glaring at each of her friends.

" No one is keeping a secret, Blair. You are being paranoid," Chuck declared, he planted a kiss on her forehead.

" I am not being paranoid!" Blair raised her voice, pushing Chuck away from her with a forceful hand.

" calm down, B, we are in a public place. There is no secret," Serena pleaded with her, shoving a piece of chicken in her mouth.

" I don't care, you are all keeping something from me. You have all barely looked at me." Blair shouted. People from all over the restaurant stared at her with disgust.

" Blair, you need to calm down. Your making a scene." Chuck said, he squeezed her thigh but she pushed him away. Again.

" I don't care." She was shushed by a waiter. " okay, I'm sorry but I need to know," Blair calmed down, crossing her arms in defiance.

" there is nothing for you to know, okay?" Chuck said, trying to touch her but being rejected again.

She knew she wasn't going to win this battle and slouched back in her seat in defiance. Rolling her eyes like the Queen B she was.

" okay," Blair huffed and continued to eat her lunch in complete silence.

" So we have some good news." Chuck started up a conversation, trying to change the tense subject. Rubbing his hands together.

" we do too, very good news." Nate said as he ate his steak, looking up slightly.

"Blair do you want to tell them or should I?" Chuck asked, Blair immediately perked up.

" we are having identical twins." Blair announced.

" no way! We are having twins too. Not identical but still twins. B, this is amazing. My love having twins when I am." Serena laughed, holding her stomach. The quiet filled the room again, all four sat in silence again, saying nothing again.

" we got rid of Georgina," Blair stated, she smiled and swirled her water.

" I feel sorry for you Chuck, her being your baby mama and all. " Serena let out, gasping when knowing what she had done. Pregnancy brain.

" what do you mean? Serena tell me. " Blair inquired, her mind spinning with confusion.

" Milo's father is Chuck," Nate answered instead of Serena, knowing she would be in trouble with Chuck later and taking the main part of the fall.

" Chuck?" Blair turned her attention to a jaw dropped Chuck.

" Blair, please..." Chuck tried, grabbing her shaking hand.

" no... please tell me they are lying." Blair said, squeezing his hand that was entwined with his.

" I am the biological father of Milo Sparks, I told Nate when she came back. He must of told Serena. I didn't tell you because it would hurt you." Chuck said, her hand pulled back and a tear slipped down her face.

" you slept with her ages ago, that was years ago. Oh god, you slept with her again," Blair cried, wiping her tears. Her hands clutching her chest, it was hard to breath.

" Blair I'm sorry," Chuck tried.

" no, the one person who tried to break up our relationship is the mother of your child. You slept with her again. It's like me sleeping with that stranger again." Blair yelled, gulping her water down her dry throat.

" it was one time five months ago, I was drunk, she was drunk and it just happened. Five months later Milo is on his way and I paid her to leave. She came back and I had her arrested. That was my errand." Chuck tried again, only to be cut off again by Blair.

" I'm done with the games, the excuses and the lies. We are not teenagers anymore, children are involved. Im done with this. We are done, see you in court. Actually, just to hurt you a bit, i'll move to France with daddy and Roman. Goodbye." and with that Blair stormed out of the restaurants. Her hips swaying, curls bouncing and everyone's heads turning.

_God, why did I tell? _Chuck thought.

_I hate him so much _Blair thought.

_My best friends leaving _Serena thought.

_I should have kept my mouth shut _Nate thought.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Two weeks passed and Blair was trapped in her room. No one had seen or heard from her, it was as if she had vanished. Disappeared without a trace. They all tried to get her to move or talk the first few days but then they wanted to give her space and leave her alone for a while.

It was a Tuesday morning, three out of the four friends sat at the table and ate burnt toast. Normally Blair made a delicious breakfast before they had work and it would be ready for when they wake up but since her breakdown she hadn't moved from her room. Until this morning.

A very tired Blair entered the kitchen, her eyes bloodshot with tears and fatigue. She was covered from head to toe, you couldn't even see her feet. A red thick woolly robe that reached to her feet and her tartan pyjamas peeped through. Her hair was a mess. Unbrushed, untamed and over curly.

" morning," Blair greeted her friends, and well her ex boyfriend.

" morning, B," Serena sighed, the room smelt of sick, lavender and hairspray now she had entered.

" Blair, only my friends call me B." Blair put a few pieces of toast in the toaster then turned the heat down a few notches. _Are they purposely trying to burn the toast! _she thought.

" okay, I've had enough of this. What the hell has happened to you?" Nate stood up and yelled at her. Startling her a bit, Nate never yelled.

" the Upper East Side happened, I'm dealing with it. It might not be the normal way I deal with it but I've had enough of sticking my fingers down my throat." Blair screamed back, sipping her strong black coffee.

" you haven't?" Serena asked worriedly, her blue eyes glistening with fear.

" no" Blair announced, " I'm doing this instead and I'm quite enjoying it,"

" this isn't you, let me help you." Serena pleaded.

" you don't know me. Deal with that or you will end up as sad as anyone on the UES." Blair folded her arms, drunk her decaf coffee and bit her toast.

" we have fifteen minutes till work," Chuck reminded everyone, nodding towards Serena and Nate.

" give me ten minutes, I'll get dressed and actually move today. Bye," Blair said, she annoyed her friends and waved her tiny hand before slipping away upstairs.

Walking up the stairs, her legs felt weak as if she was going to fall at any moment. Step by step, the visual of Chuck and Georgina grew clearer and clearer, futher angering the out of hate in her stomach.

Blair's room smelt of sick and when she walked in, it was boiling. She opened her window and let in some air. It felt good. Blair then turned to her mirror and saw her reflection. This wasn't her. This mess infront of her wasn't her.

The deep brown curls of this woman in front of her were tangle and greasy. The bags underneath her eye were large and prominent. It didn't help that her eyes were also blood shot with however long she hadn't slept. Her body wasn't sexy and she looked this a commoner, way to much for her liking.

Within seconds her wrist was raised to the mirror and then the glass smashed. Her knuckles bled and her sobs echoed through the silent house. Her heavy breathing shook her entire body as she slid down her bedroom door.

Louds steps were heard running upstairs, high heels clicked and the sharp heels of men shoes tapped on the wooden floor. The knocks on the door vibrated down to her petite body lying against it.

" Blair what happened?!" Chuck shouted, his fist banging against the door. Worry filled his every word.

" B, open the door!" Serena screamed, Blair could hear her sobs. Blair's hand reached up and clicked the lock. There was no way they could get in now.

She lifted her tiny body and sat on the floor of the bathroom. She stared at her old friend, the white porcelain bowl. Her middle and pointer finger lifted together and reached her lips. Slowly they went in her mouth and the contents of her stomach were shortly in the toilet. Her tears turned into sobs, then there was a loud bang.

A breathless Chuck run into the bathroom and grabbed her. Held her. Serena came in shortly after, grabbing her best friend and hugged her. Her head rested in Blair's neck, smelling the faint remainder of Blair's perfume. Nate was shocked, he had been there the last time her bulimia had started. Memories flashed of finding her lying on the bathroom floor unconscious. Her small body being rushed into the hospital. Wires and tubes attached to her.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Blair whispered into Serena's blonde hair. Her chest lifting heavily with her breath.

" you have nothing to be sorry for, just promise this is the first and last time this happens," Serena whispered back, she shuddered at the thought of her best friend doing this to herself.

" I promise" Blair mumbled, her eyes darted to Chuck. She let go of Serena and ran into his arms. Tears continued to roll down her face. Serena and Nate took this as a sign to leave and did just that.

" Blair Waldorf, I need you to know that you are perfection. A masterpiece. A poem perfected the first time. Don't you dare change that, I love that Blair. I need you to know I'm sorry, for everything." Chuck held her close and mumbled in her ear.

" I forgive you but I can't forget. You are unforgettable." Blair rasped, finally catching her breath.

" don't give up on us, let me love you." Chuck begged in a whisper, playing with a strand of her brown hair.

" I can't. If I let you love me then someday I'll get hurt. I can't hurt again, not the way I do when I'm with you." Blair explained, her brown eyes locking with his hazel.

" I'm not going to fight you, if you want to go then go. Just don't drag it out. It's hurting me to see you in pain so just go. Run. Be free and when you are okay come back and see me." Chuck said, tucking that strand of hair behind her ear.

" I'm leaving, anywhere. I could go backpacking or a holiday for a month. I'll be back, I promise you. I love you, Chuck Bass." Blair swayed her body with him, resting her head on his chest.

" I love you too, Blair Waldorf."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

JFK was the location. Three friends stood and watched as a small brunette boards the plane. A real smile finally appearing on her face, her body jumping with joy. All three adults phone buzzed.

**_Hello my little dolls, _**

**_When I was away a lot seemed to unfold. C and B having twins, identical even. S is having twins of her own and N was seen cuddling up to S. Looks like they don't need me to get into trouble! _**

**_Now only a few weeks after the group had begun, B was seen boarding a plane. Tears were shed, hearts were broke but what do I care? The drama was to die for!_**

**_Also G who is your baby Daddy? _**

**_Dearies get looking, I want my gossip by the end of the day. With a reward of course, I'm never indebted. _**

**_XOXO _**

**_Gossip Girl _**

" she just can't stop," Serena sighed, pushing her phone back into her red coat pocket.

" we will have to stop this, coffee tomorrow morning at Sugar." Chuck fumed and stormed off, staring at the gate once more. Wishing Blair would walk back through and they would live happily ever after.

" it's okay Serena, he's just hurting," Nate said, he pulled her in for a hug, both staring at the plane that was about to go in the air.

" I hope she gets better off this, Dr Ostroff even said that getting away from here may be best but backpacking. Blair doesn't backpack." Serena talked, she played with the collar on his shirt.

" if this is what she wants and stops her from doing whatever she was doing then let her go. In a month a very happy Blair will come home." Nate explained, kissing her temple, she giggled.

" a month and then Blair and Chuck will finally be a little family. I seriously can't wait, the wedding, the first and second Waldorf-Bass and the christening." Serena imagined, swaying in her spot.

" don't get ahead of yourself, have our babies first then Chuck and Blair's kids. Probably our wedding then we can worry about Chuck and Blair," Nate said, swaying with her hips.

" you want to marry me?" Serena asked.

" of course, but let's have the twins first then I will ask you in a romantic way and then our big fairy tale wedding will be set." Nate replied, kissing her gently on the lips.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, I love you," Serena said with a huge smile on her face, even her teeth were showing.

" Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen, I love you too," Nate said back, passionately kissing her lips.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The next morning came quick. Chuck was already sitting in Sugar with a huge cup of coffee in his hand. He noticed the two blondes walking through the doors and waved to alert them of where he was. They soon joined him, cooing over the baby on the next table.

" Anyone else get a text from Blair?" Serena asked suddenly, unexpectedly no one else did.

" no, what did she text you?" Chuck demanded her to answer, the worry welling up inside him.

" just a photo and a few words" Serena picked up her phone and showed them the picture of Blair. She was in a sports bra and sports leggings with a large bag on her back. Her hair was sandy but the smile on her face was genuine. She was happy. The message read ' _S, my friends call me Blair but my best friend calls me B. So call me B, bestie.' _

" she looks happy," Nate pointed out, smiling at the picture. It was great to see Blair happy.

" well she won't be when Gossip Girl tells the world about Milo's heritage. He's a Bass even though I hate to say it. They will be able to work it about in seconds if they catch a glimpse of Georgina anywhere near me a few months ago." Chuck said, staring intently at the picture.

" what can we do?" Serena asked putting her phone back in her bag.

" we need to scheme without the biggest baddest bitch of the Upper East Side. Any ideas?" Chuck said, his hands gesturing that _anything _was welcome.

" blackmail, we need to find something to blackmail Gossip Girl with," Nate suggested, pleased with himself.

" what do we have against Gossip Girl?" Chuck questioned them, sipping his black coffee.

" nothing, she is a clean slate. No dirt to be traced. That's it." Serena smiled, grabbing her phone out again.

" what's it?" Nate asked, sipping his own milky coffee.

" you'll see," Serena smirked and at that moment a beep went off. Phones.

**Gossip girl here, **

**I was searching for G baby's heritage but seems no clues but I can do one better for you. S and N twins are a boy and girl. We are set for the IT girl and white knight for the UES, just needing the devil and Queen B. Who will that be? I guess we'll find out. Retract your claws kitties, I've got my dirt today. **

**XOXO **

**Gossip Girl **

Chuck and Nate read the new blast, they looked up with open mouths and wide eyes. She just laughed, it was actually a funny picture.

" S, why did you do that?" Chuck stared at her with his dark eyes, smirking his signature smirk.

" I did it for my sister," Serena explained, rubbing her growing bump. " I don't care if these babies genders are spread across the world without me wanting it, it's just want Blair to be happy."

" and she will be," Nate and Chuck said together then went back to their coffee and teas.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair texted one of them every few days, a picture and a few words. Nothing more, nothing less. She had left on January 6th and was going to be gone until the 9th of February.

**January 11th - **Blair had sent Nate a picture of her infront of the Grand Canyon, the message read '_you never forget you first love, even if he was an ass!" _

**January 15th - **Blair sent Serena a picture of her in a large old temple, it was beautiful. ' _S, I'm messed up and broken but you always help fix me piece by piece. You are my super glue.' _The message was sweet and Serena had even cried.

**Febuary 2nd - **Chuck was the next recipient of a photo of Blair. Her hair was long and flowing, in desperate need for a cut. Well if you was an UESdr. She was in a large desert, lying on the sand. Smiling. ' _just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you.' _

**Febuary 4th - **Serena recieved another text, this one was of Blair underneath a water fall in a tiny bikini. Her hands were pushing back her hair and her lips were in a pout. Her bump definitely growing, she looked bigger. _' S, i am so lucky to have you, sexy people do attract.' _

**Febuary 5th - **The final text was to Chuck, the was no photo just a message.'_That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.- don't let them die because I love you, Chuck Bass.' _

Today was the day she returned, everyone's stomach churned, breath run fast. Hearts fluttering like a bird. Chuck met up with Serena and Nate there, smiles already plastering their faces. _Two minutes_. Chuck cradled his flask and walked to the gate with it and his friends. He was nervous like never before, even saying I love you was easier than this but it had to be done. _One minute_. The clocks ticked and the friends sat in silence. No one talked or moved or even breathed heavily. It was complete silence between them all.

A small pregnant tanned blondey brown woman walked in, she was smiling and laughing. Her bags barely weighed her down and she had a beat in her step. Serena noticed this woman was Blair and ran and huggged her.

" B! You look amazing, so tanned and blonde!" Serena squealed, pulling her friend in for another long hug.

" I feel amazing, a month away is really great but look at you. The twins have grown so much since the last time I saw you, you look great!" Blair screamed excitedly, rubbing her swelling stomach.

" Blair, i must say you are looking fabulous. The twins are getting big." Nate voice boomed throughout the airport, Blair ran and hugged him.

" well Nathaniel, I must say you are looking exceedingly handsome today." Blair returned the compliment and kissed his cheek.

" I know, I'm a handsome devil." Nate joked, Blair slapped his arm. The three friends laughed.

" Waldorf!" A raspy voice said from behind her, she saw him. Chuck Bass. He looked handsome, a little rugged but still very handsome.

Her body leapt onto him, her lips touched his. It started slow but they fastened the pace. When they pulled away for breath they both smiled.

" well that was a welcome and a half, good to see you Bass," Blair said, she linked her arm in his and the other arm went for her bump.

" what's with the blonde?" Chuck said as he played with a piece of her hair.

" the sun, I've been in it directly for a month, it's just lightened. Now I'm back in New York it should go back to brown," Blair said, she kissed his lips again. Butterfly kisses.

" let me just say the butterflies never died, still in my stomach fluttering." Chuck told her, placing his hand on her stomach, the other arm around her waist.

" my butterflies never died either," Blair spoke, her fingers gently brushing against his jaw, tracing the sharp edges.

" that was fast!" Nate said, walking over with a pregnant Serena clinging on his arm. Her best friend's smile was large and Blair knew what she had missed.

" still a boy and girl? " Blair asked, rolling her eyes at her best friends attempt to hide her emotions.

" how did you know I know what you don't know and desperately want to know?" Serena gushed, rubbing her belly slightly. Still holding Nate's arm.

" S, you have pregnancy brain. If I wasn't Blair Waldorf and also pregnant I would have no idea what you just said but as I am Blair Waldorf I know. Also as Blair Waldorf I know the ins and outs of Serena Van Der Woodsen," Blair declared, laughing at her friend, Nate still confused over Serena's comment.

" yes, they still are a boy and a girl. A penis hasn't turned into a vagina yet." Serena announced, pouring down at her stomach.

" let's get going my friends, I have a little scheme to get on with also." Blair said, taking the flask from Chucks hand and passing Chuck her bags.

" Queen B is back in buisness," Chuck smirked, placing her luggage at the bottom of a airport cart. Pushing it at the speed of his friends.

" She never left, but we all know a good queen takes time to plan her actions. That's excactly what I done, I hope the Upper East Side can handle it." Blair grabbed the handle of the awaiting limo and jumped in. Buckling herself in.

The remaining members of the NJBC turned and stared at eachother. All thinking the same thing, expression smiling but heads saying something else.

" is she serious?" Nate asked, opening the trunk and putting the bags in.

" I don't think she has ever been more serious," Serena spoke, looking at the space where Blair had just been.

" whatever Blair does, we have to make sure it doesn't backfire. She's fragile right now, we don't want the bulimia back." Chuck said, passing the last of the bags to Nate.

" The Upper East Side is definitely not ready but are we?" Serena questioned, staring Chuck right in his dark pools.

" only one way to find out," Chuck said, holding his hand out and opening the limo door. They all jumped and rode of into the sunset._ As if_.

_"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."_

_

– 

_

_Albert Schweitzer_


	7. Tough Relationships

A month had passed and it was great, so much had happened. The women were now 26 weeks pregnant with twins, Serena and Nate knew they were having a boy and a girl but Chuck and Blair wanted to wait until they were born. All four babies had started to kick like little karate kids, focusing most of their attention on the women's bladders. The pregnancy bellies were now protruding out of their tops and the belly buttons. Blair said never to mention the belly buttons or serious damage will be inflicted.

Georgina had been in jail for almost two months, Milo was growing just fine but Chuck hadn't even seen a sonogram of him. It hurt but Chuck knew one day Milo would find him or Chuck would anyway. Either way he was going to see his son.

Work had been harder for Chuck and Nate, they were trying to get a lot of work done so they could have more time off with the babies. Blair had to take it slow as the babies needed to be safe and Serena hadn't worked in months. Serena had done most of the baby shopping for Chuck, Blair and herself. Once the babies were born, Nate was going to move in with Serena and Blair would move in Chuck as the Empire was his hotel. A yellow and grey nursery was built in The Empire Hotel while the Archibald Babies had an underwater themed nursery, it was ridiculous big and extravagant.

As breakfast was served by a busy body Blair, Chuck received a phone call from his PI. At first he ignored it so he could enjoy breakfast with his girlfriend, sister and best friend. By third time it rung, Blair picked up the phone angrily and greeted the person with her phone voice.

_**Hello is this Mr Bass?**_

" no, I'm his girlfriend, Blair Waldorf." Blair replied, wondering who was calling.

**_Could you please pass a message along to him? It's from St Lee Hospital, Georgina Sparks is in labour and has requested to speak to Mr Bass_**

" yeah... um... I'll pass it along. Goodbye now." Blair finished, gobsmacked by the recent conversation with the hospital. Her friends stared at her, gesturing for her to tell them what had just happened. "Georgina is in labour, I'm gonna go pack a hospital bag."

" wait what do you mean? She's in labour. Why are you packing a bag?" Chuck threw question after question at her but Blair remained calm.

" Milo needs clothes for when we bring him home. Diapers, bottles and blankets for the next week or so when he's in the hospital. He's premature by a couple of weeks so we might be in there a while. I'll pack a few outfits and pyjamas for us too." Blair said fastly, rummaging through the kitchen cupboards to find the recently purchased bottles.

" Blair, he's being put up for adoption once he's born. I didn't think you would want me to keep him with the twins coming." Chuck calmed her down, explaining the upcoming situation.

" I would never keep a child from his father! Why would you even insinuate that, I want Milo home with us and his brothers and/or sisters." Blair snapped, now infuriated by Chuck's remark.

" B, you must know what Chuck meant and felt. Milo is not your son but he is Georgina's." Serena said, sipping her very weak decaf coffee.

" I know but we can raise him properly. Money, space and love are no problems for us, let's go get your son Chuck. Let's bring him home to his family." Blair offered, a comforting homely smile on her pale face.

" let's go get my baby, Nate and I will pack the car up with his stuff. I'm sure with how much Serena bought for the twins, we could get a few clothes, pacifiers and diapers for him." Chuck beamed, he would finally meet his first son. His first child.

" we can give him all of the twins stuff but he doesn't need it." Blair said, she then noticed Chuck's nervousness. "Chuck, you will be an amazing father so, go pack the car with my hospital bag I have ready. We will be fine." Blair sent him on his way and sat on the sofa, thinking about pretty much everything.

Chuck was going to be a father and she wouldn't be a mother. She understood the situation but it still hurt. The one you love having a child and you having no blood relation to that child. Blair could see how upset Chuck was when the conversation of having a son came up because he already had one. Milo. For Chuck, Blair would do anything and this was anything. This child was going to be as much her child as his. She was going to raise Milo excactly like she was going to raise the twins. With patience, love and understanding. This baby was going to be her son.

Chuck stomped down the stairs with Nate and Serena in tow. Blair smiled at them and they all returned one. She waddled over to the elevator and soon they were all riding down in it. Chattering about life as parents and Milo's birth. It was a weird conversation but felt so natural, like he had always been there. Like the whole pregnancy had been expected and followed.

The limo ride was the same. The same chatter, same laughs, same mood and same smiles. The first of all the babies were going to be born and it raised the excitement of their own impending arrivals more. Serena joked about been an Aunt and Nate called himself Uncle Nate. Chuck said something something about being called daddy, Blair wasn't listening. Just stared out at the sky, the sun rising in the early morning. It was barely 6am so the streets of New York were waking up. Newspapers and milk being delivered as the taxi drivers started driving in their cars. New York was beautiful in the early morning and Blair Waldorf loved it.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Four hours later, Chuck left the delivery room with a small blue bundle in his arms. Nate, Serena and Blair rose from the waiting room hardbacked seats and guietly rushed over to the baby. From what you could see from across the room, he was tiny and slightly tanned. Missing all Georgina's features except for very dark brown/black hair, he was a mini Chuck.

" Chuck, baby, he's gorgeous." Blair whispered and cooed over the baby. Picking him up and resting him in her arms on growing stomach.

" Auntie S is here baby boy, does baby boy have a name?" Serena quietly asked; trying not to wake the baby while having her own silent dance party.

" I've decided to keep his name Milo but I've added a few things. This handsome little devil is Milos Charles Bass." Chuck announced, a tear slid down his cheek but was lovingly brushed off by Blair.

" it's perfect, he looks so much like you, man." Nate mumbled and stared from baby to father.

" thank you all, first of the babies to be born, four more to go. My first Bass." Chuck gushed, more warm tears glazing his eyes.

" Let's go and talk to the nurse about the situation. We can get our own room." Blair decided and walked with Chuck and Milo to the front desk. She explained the situation and the nurse had them set up in a private room. An average hospital bed there for the mothers and a white plastic crib for the babies. Milo was so tiny that when you put a blanket on him, he disappeared. Chuck had ordered some formula and they had a feed soon. For now they just watched him, Nate and Serena had gone to get the formula and congratulations presents.

" wow, he's perfect. Look at that tiny nose, that Cupid bow is amazing and that jaw. Sharp and defined like yours." Blair studied the sleeping baby.

" he will be getting all the girls once he's older. Milo Bass will be excactly like his father, lucky in the ladies department." Chuck joked, Blair laughed a sarcastic laugh.

" the only thing he will be lucky with is when I give him sugar. Isn't that right Milo." Blair cooed at the baby, no answer obviously but she still smiled and nodded her own head in agreement.

" Milo will be lucky enough to find one woman that knows him more than anyone, even himself. A woman that he will love and cherish, have kids with and marry. He will be lucky enough to find that one woman who gives him butterflies that never die." Chuck disagreed; rubbing his large finger on the baby's tiny red cheek.

" have you found her?" Blair quizzed, already knowing the answer with all her heart.

" I found her 26 weeks ago at my hotel opening. She was in a beautiful low-cut body hugging black dress, her brown eyes glistened in the darkness. At first she shouted at me then warmed up to me. Then she had a text of her best friend saying she had found a blonde to sleep with and I was happy to have her to myself. We had sex and then she found out she was pregnant. At first I acted like a complete dick but then I came to the realisation that that life was the one I wanted. I wanted the wife and kids, the office job to match. We've been through a lot, my first son and a bulimia relapse but I have never loved someone more. I love you, Blair Waldorf." Chuck gazed into her deep brown eyes, they looked like puddles of honey.

" I met him at a bar, I thought he was hitting on me but he was genuinely mistaken. I immediately saw it in his eyes and I calmed down. We talked and danced and had sex. Five weeks later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Me and that stranger was having a baby. I talked to him and he fled, I came to terms with it but it still hurt. But then like a gentlemen he said sorry with chocolates and flowers. I've never loved anyone more than I have that man. I love you, Chuck Bass." Blair admitted, blushing a bit when his eyes searched her body.

" I never thought that this would be my life. I'm sitting here confessing my love to a beautiful woman who is pregnant with my twins, looking at my newborn son. Our son. This is a life that is totally unexpected but I've never loved my life more. This life we are building together as equals, as parents, as lovers. I can't wait for our lives to continue. Our twins to be born, our wedding, our fourth child and our first grandchild. All of this, none of it would be possible without you. So thank you, thank you so very much." Chuck professed, lifting Blair's hand and butterfly kissing her knuckles.

" this is the start of something amazing, something that we have built. Everytime I'm with or near you, I come alive and I feel free but safe and secure. It's feels new and exciting but homely and historic, like it's always been there and it will always be there. The way you kiss me and make love to me is magic, every nerve in my body is electrified. When you hold me and talk to my stomach, talking to the babies, my heart flutters. I want you and only you. I've found peace in this strange life and that peace is you." Blair cried, holding him in closer. Milo began crying, the cry was quiet and quite sweet. A awakening call in a warm morning. "Hey, Milo. Are you hungry? Do you want some lunch? I thought so, Auntie Serena and Uncle Nate will be back any minute." Milo continued to cry, this time louder and stronger.

" I'll have a go," Chuck picked up Milo and cradled him but the crying still continued. " maybe he needs a change." Chuck placed Milo on the changing table and opened his onesie and diaper. Nothing, it was completely clean. Chuck buttoned him carefully up again.

" maybe a song." Blair said and cradled the baby in her arms, thinking about all the nursery rhymes her parents had sung her. There was not many but one.

_Somewhere over the rainbow,_

_ way up high._

_There's a land that I've heard of _

_once in a lullaby._

_Somewhere over the rainbow, _

_skies are blue._

_And the dreams that you dare to dream,_

_Really do come true…_

Milo was already asleep, his small chest going up and down with breaths. He was a magnificent creature, loved and adored by all that met him. That might have only been his parents and uncle and auntie but they loved him so much.

" you have a touch, Blair. You are a great mother." Chuck said kissing her temple before taking the baby off her and placing him in his crib.

" and you are a great father." Blair whispered, staring down at the small bundle. It may have not been her biological son but the love she felt for this child was hypnotic. The feeling bled into her brain and now this child was the only thing that mattered right now. Chuck agreed. The flustered blondes rushed in the room holding large blue balloons that's said ' it's a boy.' Bags and bags of shopping in their hands and huge grins on their faces.

" has Milo been good for Mommy and Daddy?" Serena questioned the sleeping baby. Blair and Chuck looked shocked, Mommy. Blair was Milo's mommy and she actually felt it.

" he had a bit of a cry but Blair sung him to sleep. Classic somewhere over the rainbow." Chuck informed them, pulling formula out of one of the many bags. In the small kitchen area in the corner, he began to make the bottle, making sure to read the instructions on the back.

" I've texted my mom about us having twins and she was really weird about it. We are having brunch tomorrow, she specifically asked for you to be there too." Serena told them, rocking the baby in her arm.

" Milo has a few tests tomorrow because he's a premie, we can't come for them so we can do it then. Only for an hour or two. After that they are teaching us how to bathe him." Blair smiled at the thought, watching Chuck acting like a father.

" the way it sounded we won't be there long. Is Milo getting circumcised?" Nate quizzed, a face of disgust masking his normally handsome face.

" I don't know, I'm not a man. It's not up to me." Blair answered him, pointing at Chuck who was walking back over.

" probably, I can get it booked for two days. We are going to be in here at least a week because he's so small. Milo can heal here and we have a happy non- groggy baby at home." Chuck explained as he took Milo from Serena, sitting down and beginning to feed him his bottle.

" Where is home?" Serena asked nervously, she wanted to know but didn't knew how to say it without being abrupt.

" The Empire, Blair can move in early. There is no problem there." Chuck coughed, then made sure the baby was still calm.

" Nate can't move in with me without the babies, it's completely wrong. We either have to be married or share children to live together. It's ridiculous to think he was." Serena exclaimed, raising her hands to make her point.

" okay, I won't move in then. I'll stay with Blair and Chuck." Nate comforted her needs, pregnancy hormones running rapid in her tiny body.

" but then I'll be alone." Serena cried, actual tears coming down her sun kissed cheeks.

" you can move into the Empire with me?" Nate offered, a smile lite up Serena's face and she accepted it with a kiss.

That day, Febuary 28th was the best day of Chuck's life. Blair felt the same, her first son was born. It felt amazing to be parents and at 4 hours old, Milo had stolen the hearts of all four adults with a simple yawn. Blair and Chuck sat and studied him for a while after Nate and Serena left, before he was wheeled of to the NICU. His breathing and heart rate was normal but for Milo's safety they decided to keep him in the NICU just in case something went wrong. It made Chuck and Blair nervous to let go but happy he was getting all the help he needed.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The next morning came slowly, Chuck and Blair barely slept because of their worrying about Milo. Serena and Nate barely slept because Serena was going through a horny phase and Nate was happy to help. Blair had gone through this a couple weeks ago while the stranger incident happened but Chuck had _helped _her out a week or two later.

The adults sat around the table, Lily at the head with Serena and Chuck beside her. Nate was next to Serena and Blair was next to Chuck. It was weird. Lily just stared at the couples, studying them before going on to the next person. Once in a while she nodded while someone spoke but never said a word until Serena asked a question. What did you want to tell us?

" well Darling, after hearing about the twins, for both of you, I wanted to celebrate. Congratulations on Milo by the way." Lily congratulated Chuck and he smiled, squeezing Blair's thigh underneath the table.

" you said that Blair and Nate needed to be here. Why?" Chuck questioned, it was totally abnormal for Lily to show her mysterious side, especially when it included Chuck.

" Blair is your children's mother and Nate is Serena's children father. It would be socially unacceptable to congratulate on a baby without both parents there." Lily lied, they all could see she was lying but continued eating without saying another word about it.

" Lily, I was looking at pictures of your latest party and couldn't help but notice that amazing diamond necklace you were wearing. It was magnificent." Blair complimented Lily, trying to get on her boyfriends mothers good side.

" thank you, it was personally designed for me by my second husband. It was the anniversary of our divorce and I thought it would be perfect to wear." Lily laughed, she liked this girl. Chuck picked them good lately.

" no matter what husband it was from, that's what husbands are for. Money, jewellery and a major pay off when you get divorced." Blair smirked, Chuck was proud of her.

" enough about me, do you have any baby names? All of you." Lily joked as she pointed at the four at the table.

" Gertrude and Mildred, classic and perfect for a Bass." Blair commented before bursting into laughter.

" William, my first husband and Eric and Serena's father, wanted to call Eric Darwin. I quickly put an end to that and we had an Eric. If it was up to William, I would have had Darwin and Beatrice, no thank you." Lily smiled, the four laughed.

" we haven't found out the gender yet so it's hard. We have millions of boys name but not many girls. Basses only have boys and Waldorfs only have girls so boy names we have loads but girls we only have a few." Blair explained, taking Chuck's hand on the table. Publicising their loving relationship.

" We are having a boy and a girl so we've got a few but we can't name them without seeing them. Before making anything official we are going to meet them." Serena joined in, ecstatic about the conversation of babies, their babies.

" I felt the exactly the same when I was pregnant with you. When I saw those blue eyes and bright blonde hair I knew Serena was it." Lily reminisced, the four listened intently. " now, the reason I called you here. Bart left a letter for the first of our children who had twins. As you both are having twins at the same time, you both get the letter. I'll go retrieve it from the safe." Lily got up and left abruptly leaving the remaining adults very confused. Wanting to know more.

" what's that about? It's like Bart knew we were going to have twins." Chuck said, his nose scrunching with utter and complete confusion.

" Bart Bass was a very strange man so we will just have to read it and find out." Nate relaxed, leaning back on his chair eating a strawberry.

Lily re entered the room with a large folder in her arms, it was bright blue and looked official. When she placed it on the table it made a thumping noise, shaking the liquids in their glasses. She looked up at them with a worried, nervous smile on her aging pale face.

Chuck reached for the folder and as he did Lily walked out with tears welling in her ocean blue eyes. There were a few letters in the folder. First baby, first wedding, first grandchild, first big business venture. All these letter were meant for Chuck or Serena, whoever did it first and the first baby and twins had been completed at the same time. Chuck lifted the letter labelled twins and began to read but his voice broke. Blair took over.

_My child,_

_ A baby is one thing but twins is another, I would know. Chuck's mother was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. I never got to know the girl but I wish I had everyday. The boy grew up spoilt and selfish but that was because of me. I never stopped giving him money, the things money could bring or gifts because I needed him gone. Now I know how selfish that was but everytime I saw him, I saw his mother and my daughter. I never blamed him, I could never blame him._

_ Serena, I have only known this extraordinary women for a few months but I can tell she will be big. The world will be at her feet before she knows it, she just needs to try. Not try hard but try to calm down and settle down. I've met her friends and some are horrendous like Georgina Sparks but then there was this one, Blair Waldorf. If she stuck by her then she would do great things. _

_ You may be wondering what this is for and I will tell. It will be hard to tell but I will. Serena is my daughter, Chuck's twin sister. Evelyn was infertile so we acquired Lily to carry our first child. We promised to back her when she divorced William so her reputation wasn't destroyed and in return we had a baby. Lily and I ended up having an affair which led to our children, Chuck and Serena. Evelyn was angry and threatened to expose our affair and ruin our reputations. We made a deal, I would continue married to Evelyn and Lily would pass Serena off as William's. Late one night, two years later, Evelyn was in a limo that crashed and killed her. By that time, Lily was pregnant with Eric and I lost my chance. _

_ After all these years we rekindled and decided to tell you when you have your own twins on the way. Go and do what you want with this information but do not hate Lily or eachother. Twins run in the family and I want all of your children to be happy, twins or not. _

_I am proud. Be happy my children, be happy my grandchildren and be happy together. I love you my son and daughter._

_Bartholomew Bass_

After Blair finished nothing was heard, the sobs of Lily upstairs had stopped and it was complete silence. Blair read the letter again in her mind and the rumples of the paper echoed the room. Then sobbing was heard, Serena was crying. Who could blame her? Pregnant and finding out who your real father and brother are. 

" S, shh, come here." Blair comforted her, dainty hands smoothing her friends blonde unbrushed hair. Her sobbing calmed down slowly but Blair could feel the tears falling on her lap.

" wow..." Nate let out, seriously crazed by the letter. His best friend had thought he had killed his mother but he didn't. Chuck had a mother, sister and a half brother. Nate genuinely felt joy for Chuck.

" yeah wow..." Blair sighed while Serena lifted her head to look at an emotionless Chuck.

" Chuck, we are going to have to talk about this. Get DNA tests and stuff to confirm it." Serena sobbed, looking to connect her eyes with Chuck but he was distant.

" man, you have to listen to Serena." Nate tried but was cut of by an angry Chuck.

" Why! Why do I have to listen? My mother as been infront of me for years and she has treated me like I am nothing to her. Yeah, she has been for the last few months but I'm 26 years old. I don't need this shit, I have a newborn son in the hospital and twins on the way. He couldn't have picked a fucking worst time!" Chuck snapped, Blair could see the tears in his eyes but there was something else. It should have been anger, hurt or sadness but it looked horrified. The idea of a mother and sister horrified him, why?

" baby, please calm down." Blair pleaded, trying to grab his wrists but he pulled away.

" no! That man always wanted the worst for me and he has really done it this time!" Chuck's voice bellowed through the penthouse, startling the table.

" the worst thing for you was to be my brother, my biological brother." Serena cried.

" yes! I don't need you or Lily, I haven't for the last 26 years of my life so why would I need you now?!" Chuck yelled, his hands slamming on the table.

" if you are going to treat my family like this then I don't want you in it right now. Go and come back with a better attitude and then we can talk about this. The tension and anger is too high right now and it's not good for the babies. I'm going to see Milo." Blair said, grabbing her handbag from the floor and getting ready to go.

" no, Milo is my son, not yours. If you go near him I will have you arrested and you will never see him again. You go home to your little family and leave mine alone." Chuck barked, it scared Blair.

" Fuck you!" Blair shouted, the tears were uncontrollably falling down her face and the anger made her clench her fist. Trying not to slap him right now was probably the hardest thing she had ever had to do.

" oh, you wish." Chuck smirked, standing up and fixing his blue suit and pink dickie bow. Blair ignored his comment and continued on her rant.

" you have this family and you are abandoning it. Serena is your sister and is pregnant with your niece and nephew, Nate is her boyfriend kind of. I'm pregnant with our twins and I'm willing to look after a child that is not my own because I love you and him. You have this family that wants you and your leaving it behind. If we don't wait up on you, it's your fault not ours." Blair announced, one small tear dripped down her cheek. This was the last tear she shed for this man.

Chuck just stared at her before barging out, his cynical chuckle could be heard. The elevator then took him downstairs, leaving three very upset adults. They didn't care what happened to him at that moment, he had abandoned them even when they had clearly wanted to love him. That man was the last and first thought on their minds.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Everyone went home except Chuck. Blair wanted to go see Milo but couldn't risk running into an angry Chuck. It was 3am and her phone was buzzing. Lifting her head from a luxurious pillow she grabbed the phone of her side table. It an unknown number, she answered it purely out of curiosity.

_Chuck walk,_

Blair heard the woman's voice, it was a recording.

_Evelyn, he's only a few months old, let the boy be._

A strong mans voice began, Blair pieced it together and this man was Bart. Chuck's father.

_It must be the blonde genes, if he was my son then he wouldn't be this stupid. _

Blair remembered that Evelyn was Chuck's mother before he found out about Lily.

_Don't speak about my son like that. _

_Or what? You'll tell the Waldorfs... _

Then the phone was hung up, the ring tone was heard and a very tired Blair stared at the wall. A random person called her and played a recording about Chuck's parents. His parents were talking about her parents and probably her. She was born then. Why would the Basses need to keep anything from the Waldorfs? These days were getting weird, a new secret everyday. Blair couldn't deal with it anymore.

Twins on the way and a baby boy in the NICU. It was impossible to manage it all with the stress that kept getting added to. Now with Chuck, him being an idiot, running like he always does. It was impossible for her to deal with it and no one could blame her. Serena and Nate had twins and a perfect relationship. They might not have a label but it always seemed happy, they never argued. Chuck and Blair's relationship was like a drug, you know it's bad for you but you love the high it gives you. It addictive and hard to give up but you need to give it up for your safety and sanity. Her phone buzzed again, Blair answered it expecting to hear another recoding but this time it wasn't.

_Hello, is this Blair Waldorf? _

" yes it is, who is speaking?" Blair said in her phone voice, desperate to get back to sleep soon.

_There has been an accident, Charles Bass was involved. We need you to come down the police department. _

" May I ask why? Is he okay?" Blair quizzed quickly, anxious for the answer.

_There was a mix up of ID's, three were killed. We don't know if Mr Bass was one of the deceased. We need you to come down straight away. _

She sat there silent, replaying the words again in her head. Chuck could be dead, her Chuck. Her eyes wouldn't water, her heart wouldn't beat fast, her stomach wouldn't flutter. Blair felt nothing but the overwhelming pain of death. Of losing him.

_'Difficult relationships come into our lives for a reason. No one would choose them, certainly. But if we let them, they can teach us how to be flexible with others and more forgiving.'_

_-_

_Joan Bauer_


	8. The Hardest Thing

The blinding lights of the hospital illuminated Blair's puffy red eyes and the remainder of water on her cheek. She had just returned from identifying a body, thankfully it wasn't Chuck but he was in hospital. Blair went straight to him in the limo, wanting to know how he was and if he was badly injured. Anything.

Now she stood in the dark hospital room, Chuck was awake on the hospital bed but they said nothing to eachother. Blair didn't speak because she knew she would end up screaming and Chuck didn't speak because he didn't know what to say. How to say sorry and move on from it. How to let himself feel and never shut those barrier again.

Chuck could see her shadow by the door, it stood still and never moved for about twenty minutes before sighing and leaving. He could feel the warmth in the room leave as she did, he now felt completey alone. If he could just call Serena or Nate or even Lily but had well and truly burnt those bridges. The doctors wouldn't let him go and see Milo because Milo didn't need the infection and bacteria around him. He was alone.

The door opened again and in stepped a blonde. It was Serena, a very distraught looking Serena. She must have been called aswell, she was second to call on his medical records. Serena sat on the chair next to the bed and studied him. The cuts and gashes on his face, the broken arm wrapped in a cast. The blood drench bandages on his legs, his legs had been trapped underneath a chair but he got them out last minute before they broke. He still bled very badly, enough to make white red.

" how are you?" Serena rasped, her throat sore from crying. He immediately noticed it.

" I'm fine, how are you?" Chuck asked, wanting to just talk to his sister. Without the letter, their mother and father, just a brother and sister talking.

" I'm good," Serena answered, the conversation fell and it was quiet. "can we please talk about it? We have to at one point and we can do it now with no Nate and Blair. Just me and you."

" I don't know what to say..." Chuck admitted and for the first time in his life he cried infront of someone, he felt weak and vulnerable but Serena made him feel strong again.

" don't cry, we will figure this out like we always do. Me, you, Nate and Blair will figure this out, twins and all." Serena comforted him with a smile, holding his hand and wiping his tears.

" it's just, I've always thought I killed my mother and she has always been there, right infront for me. Not saying or doing anything to try and connect with me, Lily did nothing for me. After all these years alone she now wants to be apart of my life and I just don't know." Chuck cried, holding his sister closer.

" mom must of had a reason and we will find it. You are my brother and will always be my brother, now we just are biologically related." Serena smiled at him, Chuck weakly smiled back. " now tell me, what is this? What did you do?"

" I got into an accident." Chuck briefed her and Serena rolled her blue eyes.

" I can see that you dick, what happened? Three people are dead and Blair had to go identify a body, they thought it was you." Serena explained, Chuck grabbed her wrist abruptly.

" what do you mean she identified a body? That is why she was acting weird, I know I was in an accident and all but she was strange." Chuck exclaimed, letting go of his sister's wrists.

" she was acting weird because her boyfriend was in an accident after he left his family angry and she's pregnant with twins while also missing Milo." Serena corrected him with 'you did wrong and have to fix it _now_' face.

" Can you get Blair to come here and talk to me or not talk to me?" Chuck begged, staring right into Serena's eyes, scaring her into saying yes.

" I'll try but she's hurt and hormonal right now, give her time and Blair will come around. Now I have to go, Nate is waiting for me downstairs. He's a little mad but he's Nate, give him a day or two and you will be best friends in no time. Goodbye." Serena said goodbye with a kiss on his head and small wave.

Chuck felt better now, talking to his sister and getting stuff off his chest did wonders but there was still Blair. Blair the light of his life, the one good thing except for his son and twins. She brought the sense of family and joy into somewhere dark and broken. Blair fixed him, she was his glue and even when the cracks showed. She embraced and loved them. The crash had broken him again but Blair wasn't there to be his glue. His phone beeped.

**_Hello Upper East Siders,_**

**_ A lot has gone on the last few weeks and I've never been more excited. G gives birth to M and C was in an accident. Three dead but not our king. B was seen running and crying from the hospital, what has happened except for G having C's son? Don't forget I know everything no matter how hard you try to hide it. _**

**_That's the news for today kiddies, G's baby daddy is C and then C was in an accident. _**

**_You know you love me, _**

**_ XOXO,_**

**_ Gossip Girl _**

Gossip girl wasted no time and everything was blasted. The world now knew about Chuck being Milo's father and for some bizarre reason Chuck didn't hate it. He wanted the world to know about his son and now they did. Was he a bad person for wanting it or is it normal to want to be a father?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

A week had past and Chuck was discharged from the hospital along with Milo. Blair didn't want to be around Chuck but she missed her son and wanted to see him. She knew Chuck would bring him to the Empire so she sat and waited on the sofa. Surely enough Chuck entered from the elevator five minutes later with a car seat in his hand, a diaper bag in the other.

Milo was dressed from head to toe in blue and was sleeping soundly. His head was free from a hat so you could see his large mop of dark brown hair. He was gorgeous and Blair fell in love with him all over again. She then focused her attention to Chuck, he was bruised and scarred on his face but other than that he was Chuck Bass. The suit was a baby blue and his hair was perfectly gelled. If it wasn't for the broken arm and scars you wouldn't know he had been in a serious car accident a week ago.

Blair could see Chuck was studying her, her stomach had grown more and her face had rounded a bit but she looked no different. The dark brown curls once neatly placed were now a bit out of place but she still looked like perfection.

" Blair..." Chuck managed to get out, his words stuck in his throat.

" not now, I'm here to see Milo." Blair explained confidently, finding her feet in the conversation.

" okay, well... um... he does need a feeding, I could do it or you could." Chuck spluttered, he never struggled for words but this woman did things to him no other person could do.

" I'll feed him, we haven't seen eachother in a while." Blair spoke, breathing in and out of her nose to keep herself calm. You go make his bottle, I'll feed him then we can talk."

" I'll be back soon, he's waking up anyway," Chuck said before walking out to the kitchen. A small smile fixed on his face. The woman he loved was sitting in there ready to talk and he wanted to talk. Talk to her about everything and she needed to hear it. Then he heard it.

_Somewhere over the rainbow._

_way up high._

Her voice was angelic, not amazing but sweet and calm like an cold ocean breeze.

_There's a land that I've heard of _

_once in a lullaby._

Chuck could hear her voice rasping, Blair must have been crying or on the verge of it.

_Somewhere over the rainbow, _

_skies are blue._

The rasping stopped and it became sweet again. Her voice went up and down in the wrong places but it sounded like heaven. Like home.

_And the dreams that you dare to dream,_

Really do come true...

It ended and Chuck wanted more. He wanted to hear her voice when it wasn't angry or harsh. He wanted to hear her laugh and chuckle, the little things he loved about her. He grabbed the recently made bottle and walked into the living room. Blair was still sat in the same place but now with Milo on her lap. A small plastering her features.

" you look happy," Chuck stated, hoping he hadn't ruined the moment.

" I am," Blair beamed, taking the bottle from him and feeding the infant. " How are you?" she asked innocently, her doe eyes looking into his.

" People keep on asking me that but I don't deserve it. I should be asking how are you and my unborn children?" He returned the question with his usual smirk.

" We are fine, the doctor said about ten weeks left now. My feet are swollen, the babies have decided to learn how to hiccup and stretch marks have plastered my body. I thought this is how big I would be at 40 weeks but I'm only 27." Blair complained, wiping the dribble from Milo's mouth.

" you are 27 weeks with twins and you look fantastic. You are carrying my children and I don't care how big you get, you will always be beautiful." Chuck flirted and even blushed a little.

" thank you," Blair thanked him and finished up feeding Milo, burping him on her shoulder. She then walked to the twins nursery, placing Milo in one of the cribs. Noticing an added one in the corner with a white plague ready to put the children's name on when they are born. Blair headed back to the living room to talk to Chuck finally. She sat across from him, not daring to look into his eyes.

" are you ready to talk?" Chuck asked carefully.

" yes, listen to me now and don't interrupt." Blair demanded and Chuck nodded. "You run when things get hard and you run last week. Last week I had to go and identify a body because they thought it was you, my heart broke when I had the phone call. I had to look at a dead body for you because I love you. I loved you so much that when the thought of you dying happened, I wanted to crash my own limo into a wall. This not normal and will never be normal. I can't be the girl who runs around the world for you and her own world stops for you, I'm not that girl and I can't turn into that girl. You either stay and never run again or you go and find that girl because I don't want to be strung along anymore. I stopped running for you and I need you to stop running for me and our children. If you can't do that then I don't want to see or hear from you again." After letting out everything, she breathed. Breathed like she had never breathed before. Letting everything go and becoming a clean, untouched slate. Being free.

" I'm sorry for everything. When I found out you were pregnant, when I didn't make you feel sexy, when I found out about Lily and Serena. You have been my everything and you will always be my everything. Let me love you, let yourself love me, let me be with you." Chuck pleaded, a few strays of his hair flopping in his tearing eyes.

" let me be happy," Blair cried.

" I want you to be happy more than anything else in this world. I want us to be happy together. Please come home to me and Milo." Chuck tried again.

" My home is not here and will never be here so you decide here and now. Will you run the next time something is hard or will you stay? You need to promise me the drink and drugs are a distant thing and you will be here for me and our children." Blair mumbled into her coat as she wiped away her tears with it.

" you know I can't promise something like that, I'll be here as long as I can be but you know that when things get hard it's better for me to leave and come back with a better attitude on the situation." Chuck reminded her but Blair wasn't having it.

" if you cant promise me that you won't leave then you will never me good enough for me. I want you and only you but you don't want me unless your free to do whatever you want. I'm done, we are finished. For the kids we'll be civil but I can't do _this _anymore." Blair sobbed, her confident mask slowly breaking away.

" don't give up on us, Blair." Chuck begged her.

" I didn't give up on us, you did. When you said about Milo not being my son or everytime you leave and end up in a difficult situation you need me to get you out of. I'm done." Blair sighed, getting up, grabbing her stuff to leave. Chuck ,thinking about lust not love, took her lips on his. Tasting the strawberry lip balm and then slid his tongue in her mouth. The kiss was passionate and needy, like the last kiss they would ever share.

Her lips smacked on his. Passion burning through each others body, shirts ripped and trousers off they got backed onto the sofa.

" I need you." She seductively said in his ear, causing him to fasten the kissing. Biting her bottom lip and his hand playing with a piece of stray brown curls.

" then you will have me" Chuck bit her earlobe and slid one finger into her wet core. She bit her lip and moans left her every few seconds. This had been the first time in about two weeks, Blair wanted it to be special the next time they had sex but rushed sex on a sofa wasn't that bad. Right?

He heard her moans and fastened his pace causing her to scratch his back with her nails. I didn't hurt, just left him wanting her more. Then one more finger was slid in causing her to scream his name. He loved hearing his name from her lips, it was a new life for him. To be next to her, near her, in her.

" Oh god Chuck, I need you " Blair managed to say between gasps, she grabbed his length and started to rub. He kissed the sensitive part of her neck and then bit her should seductively.

Chuck could see her climax was coming from the space between her lips and her eyes rolling back in her head. He wanted this to last so he let go, she moaned.

" Chuck, either finish what you started here or we can go to bed and finished properly there " Blair cupped her breasts and licked her lips.

" bed, now " Chuck grabbed her and pushed her onto the bed, he kissed her neck and then her shoulder blade. The valley of her breasts was next, he played with one nipple and cupped the other breast while kissing both. He kissed down to her belly button then stopped, he pulled himself back up to Blair's face and intensely kissed her.

Finally, after a long awaited twenty minutes, Chuck slid into her. They both climaxed together and after a few rounds they lay, panting, on their backs staring up at the blank white ceiling.

" we can't do this again " Blair said, turning her head to look at him. Her hair was greasy and her face was sweating but he or she didn't care.

" didn't enjoy it, i thought after the third orgasm that you started to warm up to me " Chuck joked but it didn't cause Blair any happiness or laughter, not even a smile.

" it was probably the best night of sex I've had since we separated. My mothers marrying me off to a business partner." she played a little with the blanket, smiling remembering the last few hours.

" then why does it have to end? Why do you have to marry that man?" Chuck questioned, now confused from the previous thing she said.

" I'm tired of getting hurt, I don't want it to end but it's best for me and my children. You have Milo and I can't be one of those people that walk in and out of someone's life. I'll be here until the twins are old enough to live without their father then I'll go. I'm sorry." Blair said, tears began sliding down her face. Chuck pulled her in for a hug and held her until she went to sleep. How was he supposed to react? He knew the impact the twins and her mother had on Blair's life and choices, she was doing this to make them proud.

Sometimes he dreamt about a life with her, their wedding, their home. Pregnant Blair, their sons and daughters and when Milo came into the picture, Blair fitting perfectly into a little family. But tonight had stopped any dreams or any sleep. Chuck made sure she was asleep then got up to leave, he picked up his discarded clothes and left. He knew Blair didn't want any questions from their other friends so it would be easier to act as if that night didn't happen.

" sweet dreams."

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

The sleepless night became a rainy day, reflecting on the mood of everyone in the house. Serena laid in bed, thinking about the events of the last week and sighed before removing the blanket from her body and getting out of bed.

Nate heard the movement from across the hall and knew it was time to wake up. Chuck rubbed his eyes and quickly put his pyjama bottoms on, he went into the twins nursery that was currently his sons nursery and was surprised to see he wasn't there. Blair had probably got him before Chuck had woken up, all three met on the landing and walked down the steps. One behind the other.

Another surprise of the morning was to see Blair cooking breakfast with the baby on her hip. Singing to Britney Spears ' baby one more time', she was in her silk pyjamas and the baby was still in his pyjamas. The table was filled with sweet treats and a full cooked breakfast.

" good morning, me and Milo got hungry so we decided a big breakfast before our first day back at the house." Blair said, she placed the eggs on the table and then put Milo in his car seat next to her.

" oh, B, I thought you would be in a bad mood but this is so amazing. I love you." Serena kisses Blair's head then picked up Milo to say good morning.

" morning, Blair, what eggs we got?" Nate asked then sat in the seat across from her and dug into his breakfast.

" Waldorf" Chuck gave a slight nod as a good morning then took his place next to Nate, directly opposite Blair and began to eat his own breakfast.

" so what are we doing today? You know first day back and all! " Serena said before biting into a buttered croissant, clearly excited for the day.

" I've called the head of the board and they have pretty much given me a few months off. To recover and then will the twins." Chuck answered her questions and ate a spoon of beans.

" so what do we do?." Blair inquired, only looking at him for a second. Smiling for show but it didn't reach inside.

" it's up to you but I thought maybe a baby shopping day, Milo needs some stuff and the twins can never have enough stuff." Chuck answered her question and tried to look into her eyes but failed.

" oh yes, I want to talk about Milo. I want to go shopping for a nursery, you obviously are all invited to come and then clothes shopping. He needs a full wardrobe of his own and me and Blair will find great joy out of it." Serena smiled at her friends and then at her nephew.

" I'm so excited, to watch him grow up. See if she looks like her dad, first words, first steps, first smile." Blair let the stress she had been holding in all morning and all let out a small chuckle or laugh.

" I've called my office and sold my shares out, Chuck offered me a job as the company's lawyer. I'm completely tyed to Bass industries so no one mess this up. I have to go to meet a few people there today." Nate said, shoving more food into his full mouth. Blair began to laugh.

" I still can't believe you picked Canada to start your own law business, at least France or China has some historical places or amazing architecture. Even Australia is better than Canada" Blair smile continued to widen and the laugh shook her entire body. Her curls bouncing on her shoulders and cheeks blushing.

" B, it's not that bad. Anyway after Chuck offered me a job at Bass, I've sent in my permanent resignation to your mother and I'm all in for Bass. As head of the fashion department, I have to meet a few people today. B, come?" Serena gave a judgmental look at Blair but then picked up Milo and sat cradled him.

" I'll come but only if they have those chocolate chip cookies from the bakery down the road." Blair said, she then noticed the time and jumped up alerting everyone else.

Half an hour later, all were ready. Chuck, Serena and Nate wait at the bottom of the stairs for Blair. As quickly as she could she rushed downstairs, baby in hand along with a diaper bag and his bouncing chair.

" why's Milo here?" Nate asked, grabbing the diaper bag for her. Chuck then grabbed the carrycot and bouncer chair.

" we forgot about getting him a nanny or a baby sitter so it's his first day at his daddy's company" Blair cooed at the child, disappointed when she heard the sighs around her.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Three different glass rooms, all looking into the other. A desk, a few bookshelves and an en suite toilet, other than that it was completely empty and impersonal. The walls were white and bare, not even a photo hung. The bookshelves were empty and the desk had no pictures but that would be quickly fixed by Blair who was already printing them for everyone's office.

The day was around 8 hours so they all decided to take around two hours with Milo, Blair volunteered for her first and was already settling her in Chuck's office. The playmat was spread in one corner and the diaper bag sat against his desk. The carrycot sat next to Milo's bouncing chair and playmat. It looked as if a nursery had just exploded in Chuck's office.

For the first twenty minutes everything was silent as Blair rushed around the room putting her things in place but when she finally sat down Milo cried. Chuck had gone into Nate's office for a quick discussion and was going to be there for about an hour more. Blair finally noticed that it was her moving that calmed the baby so she decided this was going to be what she did for the next few hours. Suddenly an idea popped into her head and she knew it would keep her moving for the next two hours.

Quickly she packed up the playmat and carrycot, she then placed the bouncing chair in the centre of her desk. The bathroom was her next destination, changing her clothes from Gucci and Bergadorf to janitors dungerees.

The people from the other glass offices stared at her wondering what Blair was doing. They noticed her picking up two blue paint cans and placed them next to one large empty white wall. Oh god, she was painting. She then put her hair into a loose ponytail and grabbed a roller, dipped into the blue paint and then began painting.

Blair bounced around every time she went in for a dip of new paint, entertaining the baby more and more every time. Once the baby fell asleep it had been two hours and Serena, Nate and Chuck had walked in to see who was next.

" what are you doing?" Serena asked " and looking so fabulous I must say, where did you get those?"

" what these old things? Just from that pervy janitor that wanted to see my boobs." Blair smiled and accidentally wiped some blue paint on her face.

" so what is this?" Serena asked again, laughing at Blair's last comment.

" well, I noticed Milo was calmer every time I moved around, I had hired some people to do this but I realised that I could check two things of my list by painting" Blair answered her and tugged at the dungaree straps.

" who's turn now?" Nate asked, clearly trying to stop himself from laughing.

" I could look after him for another hour if you want, I'm already busy and he's sleeping so quietly." Blair suggested dipping her paint brush back into the can and continuing to paint.

" would you do that for us?" Chuck inquired, shocked that someone wanted to stay with the baby that annoyed everyone once he cried but him.

" of course, now go back to work before you wake him up" Blair shooed them out of the room and waved to all of them when they got back to their offices.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

After another hour the three returned to ask about Milo and was shocked to see Blair painting the ceiling.

" Blair what are you doing now?" Nate joked around with her as she came down from the mysteriously acquired ladder.

" I thought to paint the sky on the ceiling, it will be good for Milo to see when he comes to the office and well he woke up and I ran out of things to do" Blair laughed again and then noticed the baby awakening. She picked him up quickly and calmed him soothingly.

" we have got to celebrate, first day at work. Drinks and a barbecue by the pool. It stopped raining an hour ago and it's a beautiful day now." Blair said, happiness practically pouring from her.

" B, that's a lovely idea, I've got the perfect bikini for this occasion" Serena gushed over the baby and took him from Blair's arms.

" S, smiley face nipple tassels are not suitable for a barbecue with a baby present" Blair joked, all laughed.

" I'm glad we met." Nate announced to his friends and threw his arms over his best friends shoulder.

" me too" Serena smiled.

" me too" Chuck smirked.

" me too" Blair laughed.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck sat at the edge of the pool in his purple swimming shorts and white short sleeve top, sun glasses placed on his messy brown hair. His son laid next to him in his bouncer with his purple swimming shorts and his own purple baby sunglasses which looked more like goggles, a matching purple sun hat on his dark locks. It was a amazing sight, relaxing, unlike anything on the UES.

Serena lay underneath the cabana in a bright yellow bikini, if you could class that as a bikini. A vogue magazine in one hand and a large fake martini in the other, three umbrellas and a flamingo paper stick floating on the blue non alcohol.

Nate was in his normal grey shorts and a white short sleeve top, playing on the grass with a football. Every so often it went to Serena who would kick it back and Nate would blush at the sight of. He continued to play until the sound of the back doors opening alerted him of Blair's enterance. She had a bottle of sunscreen in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. She was wearing a 50's purple polka dot one piece with her lips painted a light glossy pink and her hair was in a 50's sort of bun. She looked classic, classy and amazing.

Blair walked straight over to Chuck and sat next to him. She handed him the sunscreen and he raised his eyes in confusion.

" Blair Waldorf, we are in the presence of a minor, if you want me to spread lotion on you we will have to do it without my son near." Chuck smirked at Blair, who just rolled her eyes in response.

" this is not for me, its for your son. He's only a baby and needs to protect his skin. We don't want him to burn." Blair cooed at the baby and then began putting sunscreen on him. Laughing at Milo's face everytime a bit of sunscreen got on his nose.

Blair lifted the baby and put him in his bouncer chair, and began to slowly walk into the heated pool, introducing herself to the water. She called Serena and Nate who jumped into the pool with her, Chuck just sat at the edge of pool, watching the familiar sight.

"Chuck! Come on, you have to come swimming!" Nate screamed, scaring the baby, he began to cry a loud wail.

" thank you, Nate." Blair sarcastically said, she splashed him then swam to Milo and Chuck. "I'm going to put him down for a nap, make sure Serena doesn't kill Nate." She then strutted off, baby in tow.

" well done, Nate." Chuck shouted at the blondes in the pool, slipping in from the side.

" I didn't know he would be scared." Nate tried to reason but Chuck was taking none of it. A water fight started and ended with Serena winning.

" now boys, never underestimate a woman." Serena said, getting out of the pool. She put a sun hat back on and sipped her drink.

" I never will again" Nate raised his hands in defeat and jumped up next to her.

" me neither, where is Blair?" Chuck smirked at his friends, staring at the door expecting a petite brunette to walk through.

" worried are we?" Serena played with him, lowering her sunglasses to her nose. She played with a piece of her hair, Nate began to blush. Chuck noticed.

" no, it's just who is going to be my sparing buddy. You two have don't have the intellect to even try to beat me, I need a real challenge." Chuck tried to back track himself, Serena just laughed at her brother.

" missing me, I see." Blair raised her hands in a pose and laughed at Nate's blushing. " Milo decided he didn't want to go to sleep without three lullabies."

Blair threw her body in the water and swam around for five minutes. Pulling up for breath every thirty seconds, before sitting at the edge of the pool by her blonde best friend.

" movie and drinks tonight?" Serena suggested, sipping the remainder of her drink.

" yes please, what movie?" Blair asked, sipping her own glass of orange juice. Smiling at the sight of Chuck swimming with Nate, finally everything returned back to normal.

" my celebrity crush tonight please!" Serena squealed as Chuck splashed her and Blair.

" I'm not watching a Jack Black movie, I refuse." Blair said, she crossed her arms in defiance and Nate and Chuck laughed.

" Jack Black is _not _my celebrity crush." Serena blushed with embarrassment. "Well maybe just in 'The Holiday.' Oh B, lets watch it. I know how you love Jude Law!"

" agreed!" Blair screamed as Chuck pulled her into the pool, Chuck chuckling at her screams.

" Blair, you've got a text. Your photos have been printed." Nate bellowed, Blair swam quickly and checked her phone.

" yay! Oh, he looks so cute." Blair gushed over her phone, catching the attention of her friends.

" what ones have you picked?" Chuck asked, swimming to the edge by his friends.

" Milo at an hour old, a few from when we were all younger, first year of college for Nate and I and a few more. I've printed four of Milo, one for each of us." Blair showed the picture, laughing with her friends over old memories.

" what will he call us? Like when we say daddy, Milo will know it's Chuck but what am I? Nate." Nate cringed at his own name, obviously wanting a title.

" no, you will be Uncle N or Uncle Nate, whatever you choose. Serena will be Auntie S." Chuck explained to his friends, leaving Blair out.

" what about me?" Blair asked, placing her phone back on the table.

" whatever you want." Chuck stared deeply into her eyes, making her loose her breath.

" Auntie B..." Blair replied, breathless.

The group of friends sat in silence, cringing at the lack of noise. Serena played with an umbrella from her drink, Nate splashed his feet, Chuck swam in a circle and Blair stared at the glass back door.

" um, well there is an opening gala for that new chairty Bass is funding on Saturday. We going?" Serena tried to break the silence, she was successful.

" I've rung around for the perfect nanny, he will stay with Milo in a room I'm building specially for him in Bass and at the end of the day come home. Any events he will have him." Blair explained, Chuck face looked horrified.

" he?" Chuck whinced, Blair laughed and she knew how to answer.

" yes, he has good grades and references and an amazing ass." Blair played with Chuck, Serena and Nate laughed at his face. " don't worry I won't sleep with him, unless it's absolutely needed" she winked her eye, laughing to herself.

" shopping day tomorrow, Bass Industries is closed at 12pm for refurbishment." Serena smiled, Blair's mouth curled in excitement.

" nursery, baby outfits, Gala. We have a lot to buy for," Blair stated "oh Milo's first shopping day!"

When the night fell, all four friends returned to the living room. Laughing, smiling, remembering. Chuck popped popcorn, Serena set up the movie, Nate grabbed the blankets and Blair visited Milo.

Walking into the room, she saw the tiny body sleeping calmly. Milo's chest lifted with every breath, his eyelashes curled and dark. Dark brown curls messily positioned on his beautiful head, lips twitching with yawns and sleep.

" Milo " Blair whispered, " I may not be your mother or your biological aunt but I love you as if you were my own. My life is full of uncertainty but you are the only thing in my life that I know I will love forever. I once felt that about a man before, you might know him. He's tall, dark hair, dark eyes, wicked smirk. A heart as big as the world but the protectiveness of a lion. Anyone hurt you, I think they'll be dead or imprisoned within the hour. I would love to feel loved like that, a girl can dream. I love you, baby boy. Sweet dreams." She laid a small kiss on his dark curls and then sat in the rocking chair for a few minutes. Taking in this small boy who changed her life, something so tiny, so innocent.

" I loved you like that." A dark whisper said from the shadows of the room by the door. Blair immediately knew who it was.

" Chuck... please," Blair pleaded with him, he grabbed her wrists gently.

" i... i..." Chuck began, unable to finish, his lips trembling along with hers. He was a breath away from her.

" you what?"

" I don't know," Chuck returned, feeling unsatisfied with his answer. Wishing he said what he really felt.

" neither do I," Blair pulled her wrist and began to walk out.

" I love you," Chuck rasped, Blair stopped and turned on her heel.

" I love you too..." Blair said, she looked deeply into his eyes. Recognising the man she truly loved for a while now.

" but?" Chuck said, he knew there was more and it was something he wouldn't like.

" but I'm done, I'm engaged, it's going public in two days." Blair finished his sentence, her heart breaking as she did.

" Is this for you mothers company? I know it's going under but there no need for a random man. Marry me, the publicity for your mothers company will go insane and we finally can have our life together. Me, you, the twins and Milo!" Chuck yelled, scaring Blair at his tone, she shook.

" we can't be together, not if I want to be happy." Blair raised her tone also, she pulled him out of the nursery so they didn't wake Milo.

" You could be happy together!" Chuck shouted, startling the blondes in the living room. Neither of them came out.

" you know we don't work. We've tried again and again." Blair's bottom lip was trembling, her hands clenching with anger.

" please don't let us go, not again." His eyes burned with anger, he held her wrists again, gently.

" My wedding dates set, the invitations are out in two days, the papers will be filled. Let me be happy..." Blair begged him, her words were false. She would never be happy without him.

" that's all I want for you, I want you to be happy. I want you to get married and have children but with me, not him. We are Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck." He said, his thumb stroked her wrists gently, giving her body goosebumps.

" Chuck and Blair ended a long time ago and you know it. I'm doing this for us, you just don't see it. Chuck Bass, I love you with my whole being. Everytime I see you I just want to kiss you and have sex with you. To be near you but I can't because it's like inviting a war. We can't happen without it all blowing up in our faces." She said, tears poured down her red cheeks. Chuck wiped them away with his thumb. His eyes locked with hers and the world seemed to stop.

" Blair and Chuck will never end, we are inevitable. All you are doing is delaying it. Let me love you. Let me make love to you. Let me be your family. Let me in," Chuck pleaded with Blair but her mind was set. Her dark eyes glistened with tears, she was gone. Blair Waldorf was gone and Queen B was there.

" you sound desperate, like a little pre teen with a crush. Get over it. I'm going out, don't wait up," she said, picking up her purse and walking down stairs to the front door.

" B! Where are you going? The movies on." Before Serena could finish the front door was slammed and her best friend was gone.

Chuck stomped down the stairs, anger filling his eyes but Nate and Serena could see past it. He was hurt, his heart broken and mind lost. He slumped down next to Nate and began eating the popcorn aggressively before hitting play on the movie.

" where is she gone?" Serena gently asked, not wanting to set of the Great Chuck Bass.

" I don't really care, she made her choice." He said, still staring at the TV like it was the most amazing thing in the world.

Okay, was the only thing said for the next few hours. The movie finished and the friends went to bed. But Milo had other ideas for them. He began screaming at the top of his lungs, Chuck checked on him but nothing was calming him. He tried to feed him, his diaper was clean and rocking him did nothing. Serena even tried and eventually Nate but nothing worked.

" why is he screaming?" Serena shouted over the wailing, covering her ears.

" I don't know, I've tried everything," Chuck yelled back, swaying the baby in arms. The purple velvet of Chuck's pyjamas was soft but Milo did not stop crying.

" man, he is definitely your kid, screams and moans till he gets what he wants," Nate said as sat in the rocking chair, tugging at pieces of his blonde hair. It was 2am and the baby had been going at it for hours. Blair still hasn't returned.

" he wants Blair!" Serena said, slumping against the white door of the office.

" of course he wants Blair," Chuck stated, still rocking the crying baby.

" what about that song she sings? Does anyone know how it starts," Nate moaned, he had enough of this uncle thing. For tonight. He loved Milo.

" yes um, _Somwhere over the rainbow,_ oh I can't remember the rest!" Serena felt like slapping herself in the face but was interrupted by that thought by the trail of the song.

" _Somewhere over the rainbow_ _," _Blair walked in and heard the commotion. She began to sing.

Chuck was enchanted by her as she lifted the sleepy baby from his arms, she was clearly exhausted but was stable enough to look after the baby.

The song came to an end, Serena and Nate stood quietly, not wanting to wake the now sleeping baby. Blair placed him in the crib and kissed the dark curls on the baby's head. All four said goodnight to the small bundle and closed the door. They all stood in the hallway, all wanting to say something but just couldn't. Serena began to throw up, her body convulsing with each cough.

They rushed her into her bathroom and held her hair back. Blair saw the sick and from her own pregnancy she began to throw up as well. She grabbed the bucket from underneath the sink and Chuck held back her hair. After the girls were finished they sat on the bathroom floor, silently. Then Nate spoke.

" I have something to tell you," he announced, moving away from Blair as she began coughing.

" don't worry just a cough, I have something to tell you all as well." Blair also announced, reassuring the group she wasn't about to hurl her guts up.

" me too," Serena joined and so did Chuck.

" I'll go first," Nate took in a deep breath, " mother wants me to marry, she found the perfect alliance with a family from Europe. I meet her and go on a couple dates and we marry. She wants to pay off Serena to stay quiet about the baby, I told her no and that the world already knew."

" wow.." Chuck, Serena and Blair all said together, Blair rested her head on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

" I'll go, I'm getting married in two weeks to a man named Oscar," Blair said, wiping the tears that were brimming in her doe eyes.

" B, why didn't you tell me sooner? Are you happy?" Serena rubbed Blair's shoulder, she knew her best friend and she wasn't fine.

" I don't want to marry him, after eveything I decided I didn't want to marry for appearance or what others thought. I wanted to marry for love and I never will,"

Blair said, Nate rubbed her arm and Serena hugged her. Chuck didn't move.

" me next," Chuck declared, " Georgina is being released and decided she wants to meet Milo. I think she wants more money to stay quiet but I have no right to keep her away. It will go to court and everything will get out."

" Milo's mother, " Blair let out as she looked up at the white ceiling. Thoughts bouncing through her fatigued mind.

" yeah, well she never wanted to be a part of her life. I had to pay hundreds of thousands just so she didn't get an abortion, then more to get out of her putting him up for adoption. Now she wants money for her silence," Chuck sighed, telling a secret he never thought he'd tell.

" you paid for her not to have an abortion, you really wanted Milo. Your a good father, man." Nate talked, earning a smirk from Chuck.

" when is she out then?" Serena mumbled, lifting her head from the toilet bowl.

" two weeks." Chuck explained, earning a look from Blair. She was trying to hide the pain but her pregnant state didn't allow her to.

" my turn, now don't get mad at me," Serena asserted, everyone nodded at her, " Im searching for everything to do with our birth!" She waved her hands a bit, everyone stilled frowned. Shocked.

" what about Lily?" Chuck asked.

" she won't tell me anything." Serena answered.

" does she know?" Nate asked another question.

" yes, she doesn't want anything to do with the search but won't stop me." she let out, sobbing at the end of her sentence. No none touched her.

" does she know she is a complete ass?! Not telling Chuck about his family and even you Serena, you deserve to know." Blair yelled, everyone was shocked at her answer but all laughed.

" thanks, B," Serena cried on Nate's shoulder.

" I'm your best friend, no, I'm your sister and I will stand by you through everything. I love you, S and nothing will ever change that, no matter what shit you get stuck in. We are the NJBC, the answers in the title, we don't judge." Blair comforted her and then waved her middle finger around the room pointing at both men " we are going to be there for every lead, every clue. I'm not letting you go."

" biologically I'm your brother and I have a duty to serve your every need especially when you are pregnant. I'm with you." Chuck said, shocking his friends but Nate jumped in.

" Serena, I've loved you since then moment I saw you. We are in this together." Nate reassured her, playing with a strand of her golden blonde hair.

" so now everything's out, what do we do?" Blair sighed, playing with a piece of her dark curls.

" Nate's gaining a headache off his mother, Serena's gaining a brother and weight," all friends laughed at Chucks remark," Blair is gaining a husband and I'm going to be gaining a psychopath baby mama. What could go wrong?"

" everything," Serena laughed, rubbing her huge stomach lovingly, looking down every so often.

" then we lose it together," Blair announced, "toujours et pour toujours."

" what does that mean?" Nate inquired.

" always and forever in french," Blair answered, smiling at her friends.

" toujours et pour toujours" Nate said.

" toujours et pour toujours" Serena copied.

" toujours et pour toujours" Chuck recited.

" toujours et pour toujours" Blair finished.

_Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?_

_—_

_Allyson Braithwaite Condie_


	9. Wait For Me Baby

30 weeks. 30 weeks since our story started and we've gained a lot. Relationships, children, lies and love but the story began with four people having a fun night. Four babies were made that night and now after all these weeks they finally returned to that night. That night that changed everything for everyone and anyone. Lies were told, hearts were broken, heads were messed with, this all led to an unforgettable night filled with drama and gossip.

At thirty weeks pregnant and with a four week old baby, they decided to revisit the past by going to a charity Gala funded by Bass Industries. The four sat at the breakfast table talking about the upcoming Gala, babies, Milo and work.

" The gala that was moved is tonight and we don't have any clothes. Eleanor Waldorf Original we should probably wear, does your mother makes suits?" Chuck asked and Blair smiled turned upside down.

" yes she does, only for daddy when they were together," Blair looked at the ground as she said it, Harold had come out as gay a few years ago. Blair had accepted it and loved her father but talking about the time her parents were together was hard.

" I'm sorry, I didn't know..." Chuck apologised but Blair wasn't sad. She was remembering.

" Daddy's suits were sent over to my mother, there should be a box in the penthouse. Looks like I will be re visiting the past," Blair smiled and sighed at the same time.

" well, let's get over and done with. No need to ponder on the past," Serena said as she linked arms with Blair and led her down stairs to the limo.

Blair, Nate, Chuck and Serena jumped in the limo and stayed in silence for the five minute ride. When they pulled up to the Waldorf Penthouse Blair smiled, remembering the past. The elevator button was pressed to Blair's old home floor and when the elevator dinged they all slowly stepped out.

Nothing had changed, the same sofa was there, the same wallpaper, the same photos of Blair and her friends. They walked up to Blair's bedroom and Serena slowly opened the door. Everyone's breath was caught. It was as if she never left. The pillows laid in the same place she left them, the pins she took out of her still lay on her vanity, washing Blair had worn the night before she left still lay in the basket.

" wow" all the young adults gasped, smiling at the thought of their own childhoods.

Blair walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a handful of Waldorf Originals dressed and at the bottom of the wardrobe sat a box full of her dads clothes. Suit after suit she picked them up and smiled, smelling her father. A mix of mint and fruity wine. Uniquely him.

" i think I'm gonna wear this one," Blair said, she lifted up a dark velvet purple dress. It was tight at the top until her knees then flared into a puff. It was strapless. Blair always felt like a movie star when she wore it, she had imagined her hair and make up there and then.

" what about this one for me?" Serena said, she picked up a light flowing purple dress, the beading tightened the waist but then fell to the floor like a waterfall. The straps were thin and diamonds lay on each of them.

" love it, boys?" Blair raised her eyebrow, laughing at the boys faces. God, they loved the girls.

" next thing you can help us pick out lingerie, corset B?!" Serena joked, Nate and Chuck blushed. Chuck didn't blush.

" Corsets don't fit right on Blair's delicate frame, try silk," Chuck said, he could play as well. The next thing he knew there was a shoe hitting him in the groin. " Waldorf!"

" don't talk about my body or Milo and the twins will be your only child!" Blair yelled but she ended up laughing with Serena.

" whatever you say Waldorf." Chuck said, he rolled his eyes and went looking through the suits. They were magnificent, he knew his suits and these were pure quality. He picked up a dark purple suit that matched Blair's and decided this was it.

" no Bass, you are not, I repeat, not wearing that. Gossip Girl, the press with assume the worst and I'm getting married next week!" Blair screamed and threw another shoe at him, missing his groin. Hitting his knee cap instead.

" oh Waldorf, I'm wearing this. Goes with my eyes." Chuck declared, he knew it wound her up.

" I'm thinking this one," Nate joined in, still red from laughing at his friends conversation. It was white, the tie with it matched with Serena's dress.

" well now, we are all in purple, so we are all matching. Bass industries will look like a united front. Everyone will be able to see which womans mine." Chuck smirked and jumped on Blair's bed.

" Chuck!" Blair screamed at him.

" I love it when you scream my name," Chuck joked, the smirk never left his face.

" now that's the Chuck Bass I remember," Nate said, slapping him on the shoulder as if he was cheering him on.

" that's your invite for my wedding retracted." Blair said picking up her dress and storming out.

" is she being serious?" Nate said still laughing but it stopped when Serena and Chuck nodded. Nate ran out and was screaming ' Blair!,' it echoed through the corridor. Serena and Chuck laughed and returned to their offices that were very creepy. They all could see each other and you couldn't do anything to change it as the room was made out of glass.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The Gala was thirty minutes away, Serena and Blair were dressed in their rooms. Chuck and Nate were putting finishing touches on, smoothing their hair about fifty times. They were all nervous, Blair and Chuck were completely, utterly and uncontrollably in love and well Nate and Serena were falling for each other. Nate had been there for Serena since the start of her pregnancy and she enjoyed being with him. Even though they hadn't even shared a kiss in the last few weeks, the sexual tension was visible but not to Chuck and Blair who had their own sexual thing going on.

There was a knock on Blair's door, after calling for the visitor to come in, Chuck peeped by the side of the door. They said nothing while Blair put her Tiffany black diamond earrings in, they matched her black bracelet and shoes.

" Blair?" Chuck practically whispered at her, she turned her brunette head.

" yes, Chuck," Blair replied, her lips were painted a matte dark purple. A smile curled on her lips as she saw Chuck's outfit. _Oh god he's handsome_, she thought.

" if I said I love you now would you hate me?" Chuck mumbled, he was unbelievably nervous. Basses never get nervous.

" I could never hate you," Blair said, her heart was beating so fast, her stomach fluttered. Butterflies.

" then I love you, Blair Waldorf with all my heart." Chuck stated, a smirk creeping up his lips.

" and I love you too, Charles Bass with everything I am." Blair said, her eyes glistened with happiness, her life was perfect. Well, perfect for her.

" I wish it was that simple, I could whisk you away and marry you. Start our family, our children and of course Milo." Chuck smirked at the thought, he loved he idea.

" but..." Blair started but he finished.

" but the world is not ready for us."

" excactly, you know if we were a middle class family with adoring parents we would probably be together now." Blair said, thinking about the idea of them being together.

" we wouldn't be Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, what makes us amazing is that we are completely fucked up." Chuck chuckled and leaned back on her bed.

" I wouldn't change us for the world, but the world won't change for us. It always wants more and we can't deal with that. No one could deal with that. I love you." Blair smiled, pouring her heart was difficult but she let some out tonight.

" I love you too, toujours et pour toujours." Chuck replied and recited.

" toujours et pour toujours," Blair recited also, and with that he left. Blair felt abandon and Chuck just wanted to go back in and kiss her but he couldn't.

XOXOXOXOXO

Arms linked the heads of Bass Industries entered the large ballroom. Serena beamed with joy and ran off to get drinks with Nate who seemed happy to just be near her. Chuck and Blair put on fake smiles and greeted people. By the fourth couple who's marriage was clearly failing from the husband being gay and the plastic woman screwing the pool boy, they found their friends. They were sitting at a white circular table, chatting and laughing. Chuck and Blair wanted to be like that, simple and pure love.

" god, my feet are killing me, pregnancy doesn't agree with my feet," Serena moaned. Not caring who was around, ladylike was not her thing.

" S, just think at the end of it, you get a baby. Your own little life to care for. Your going to be a mommy," Blair said as the tears welled in her brown eyes. Serena began to cry as well.

" B, I love you so much. I wouldn't be able to have this baby without you. Never leave me!" Serena cried and clutched on a sobbing Blair's hand.

" I never will, you are my sister. I love you," Blair wiped her eyes with a napkin and smiled at the boys who sat in shock. " she's pregnant, she can cry anywhere."

" and you?" Nate asked, snorting from holding in a laugh.

"I'm pregnant too and it doesn't matter if I cry, it could be my time of the month.," Blair stated openly, it wasn't but it was enough to get Nate to shut up.

" Her kids and birth control stops her from having Aunt Flow join her for a tortuous week of hell and pain, filled with calories and romantic movies." Serena said, she looked pleased at the thought of not having to have a period for a few months.

" I didn't need to know that, ugghhh," Nate squirmed in his seat, Chuck simply chuckled.

" Nate, my man, if you want to get married you will have to deal with a period. You will have to by the food and sanitary stuff. You will be the main person to suffer the anger and well you will be that's woman bitch," Chuck smirked, Nate pulled a 'What the fuck man?' face that Chuck found hilarious.

" Serena's last period before she got pregnant. Smiled like a Cheshire Cat the first day and by the end of the week, she looked like Bloody Mary. I thought she was going to kill me." Blair remembered, the four of them laughed.

" Blair's last period, you were hormonal and a big bitch already. You told me not to tell your mother as she said blood was a very unladylike thing. I don't think she meant like a period but I agreed. You bled through your dress and I helped you like a true friend." Serena said, holding hands with Nate and turning her head to him every few seconds.

" Chucks first time, he was twelve, Georgina Sparks. He slept with her and then ignored her for pretty much the rest of the year until she confronted him. He told her to ' fuck off, you crazy ass physco bitch." It was a great year," Nate announced, they all laughed again. Nobody talked about everyone else's first times, they hurt. Nate lost it with his girlfriend but it was the past, Serena barely remembered and Blair loved thinking about it. She never talked about it, not when she was with Chuck.

" what did we do wrong?" Serena said, the others shook their head in confusion, "we were all so happy before we got pregnant. Blair you had a great life, a great career and you were happy. Chuck was like a horny fifteen year old who could get anyone to sleep with him. I'm pregnant with a stranger I've only known for thirty weeks."

" S, I we wasn't happy. I was making myself sick and Nate was pretty much trapped in his house. Chuck, you know he is a better man now than that horny womaniser. Finally, these babies will be loved, the men who impregnated us are strangers but so what? I've fallen in love and so have you, are we really that bad off?," Blair explained to her best friend, wiping her tears away with her thumb.

" everything that happened seems years ago, I lost my virginity eight years ago. God, that's like a long time ago," Nate said as he glared into space, it was like he was thinking but saying what he was thinking.

" my dad came out as gay eleven years ago, I lost my virginity eight years ago and it's probably been seven, eight years since I've been as happy as I am now." Blair let out, sipping her water then grabbing another from a passing waiter.

" everything seems to go fast before you know it we'll be old in rocking chairs in the country side. Grandchildren running around and a dog at our feet," Chuck remembered a dream he had one night and kind of told his friends.

" I wish we could be that normal but we aren't, I'm finally okay to deal with that. I cry, I laugh, I smile, I love. That's as normal as I'm gonna get," Blair joked, her friends laughed.

" Chuck's a father, Serena's a mother, I'm getting married and Blair's getting it all. We are grown ups. I hate it." Nate replied, all four laughed again.

" Milo is amazing, all four babies will be a super model, male or female. And I'm getting married in a week. A week and I'm no longer a Waldorf," Blair stated, her hands played with each other, her signature smile coming out a little bit.

" well at least you know the person, I've got maybe two dates then I'm walking down the aisle. I'm trying with my mother to fight it but you know her." Nate said, he shuddered at even the thought of being married to someone who wasn't her. Her. Serena.

" I'll probably have my first baby next year with man, my mother would want to hurry me along. Apparently my womb is becoming less fertile by the day and I should follow the righteous path only a woman can walk. I'm having twins in seven weeks." Blair sarcastically said, she rolled her eyes and sipped her water.

" Are you sure about the wedding? You can put a stop to it. Don't do something you don't want to do," Serena questioned Blair with concerned blue eyes. Blair just shook it off.

" I'm fine. I'll do this for my mother. Sleep with him once or twice, get pregnant and never speak to him again." Blair answered, she didn't move for a few seconds. She was stuck in thought.

" Waldorf, Care to dance?" Chuck asked, he had stood up and extended a arm. Blair held his hand, butterflies going crazy in his and her stomach.

The slow song began, he placed his hands on her tiny waist. Blair put her arms around his neck. Her head rested on his chest, she could hear his heart beat. She loved it. Knowing that he was okay and there was enough for her.

" Blair, why can't we just run? Me, you and Milo," Chuck begged her but she remained silent. " Blair, i love you with my whole being. I want to marry you and have kids with you. I want the perfect life. Please." He continued to beg and she still remained silent. " Marry me?"

" okay," Blair sighed, he broke down her walls and she liked it.

" really?" Chuck asked, his eyes filling with excitement, he placed his head on her curls.

" give me a few months, break this wedding off and give me time to think. I love you but marrying you is a complete different step," Blair replied, smelling his cologne. _I love the way he smells!, s_he thought.

" if I have to wait years to marry you then I will wait. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, you are my soulmate." Chuck said, she smiled and he smirked.

" and you are mine. Charles Bartholomew Bass," she said.

They song continued, Blair and Chuck didn't say anything to each other. They just knew what eachother were thinking. Love. Pure and simple.

Serena and Nate were dancing next to them, they witnessed the scene and knew something was going on but didn't do anything. They were to caught up in their own love.

" Serena, I love you. I love you so much." Nate announced, shocking Serena. In a good way.

" I love you too but I need a bit more time." Serena said, sighing a bit, pulling herself closer to Nate.

" I will wait a thousand years for you. I love you and I love our children with everything I am," Nate said, he was then pulled into a soft, sensual kiss by Serena. It was sweet. Excactly what Serena needed in that moment.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

When it was time for Bass to give a speech, all four friends walked onto the stage. Nate holding Serena's hand, Chuck holding Blair's. The crowd gasped at the sight, shocked. This was going to be the gossip of the century. Camera's were flashing and hundreds of pictures were taken.

" welcome, everyone to the Gala," Chuck began the speech, " we are very pleased that you could be here and that we are here on behalf of Bass Industries."

" this charity is to help women and men who suffer in violent relationships. With your donation, victims could be moved from their violent homes and into a safe place. Many people are sent to homeless shelters but no one should live like that especially some one who went through a terrible relationship." Blair took over, putting a serious face on for the crowd.

" we want to help women and men get away from that situation, helping build a new life. Getting them a new job, new house and a support system around them." Serena took over from Blair, her hands moving wildly.

" so if you could please donate, that will be amazing. Today Bass Industries is donating 750,000 to this cause, I hope you can help" Nate finished the speech and held up the large cardboard check. They had their photos taken with the check and soon left. Hand in hand they walked into the limo, smiling like they never had before.

They felt happy. Happy that the ones they wanted would wait for them to be ready. Happy that the ones they loved understood and cherished them. Happy that life finally had some sort of meaning out of it. They were just happy. Happiness in its purest form.

_I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you a thousand more. _

_-_

_Christina Perri_

**XOXOXOXOXOXO **

**_A/N - this one is kind of a chapter that sums some stuff up ready for the birth of the babies that will be around chapter 10. That would be 11 on the front cover. Read and review!!!!!_**


	10. Grown Ups

Thirty one weeks had passed since the couples had met and today was the day. The day that Blair was meant to walk down the eisle for the profit of her mother's company but she couldn't. Her head might not have been in the right place but her heart was. Her heart was with and had always belonged to Chuck.

To get away from all the tabloids and press, they had decided to take a week off in the Hamptons. Milo stayed with Lily and Serena and Nate decided to stay back for some alone time together. This week away was for Chuck and Blair to finally discover everything about eachother. To have an emotional connection not just a sexual one.

The limo pulled up outside the Hampton house, it was very modern and very beautifully styled. The architecture was amazing and the pool was huge. The perfect place to have a break from the world.

Blair had ordered for her luggage to be put in a guest room and then waddled out to the pool. Undressing into her swimsuit and taking a seat on one of the sunbeds. The sun felt warm on her skin, the heat was just right and everything was quiet until Chuck came and sat next to her.

" You enjoying?" Chuck asked, passing her a large glass of cold lemonade. A dry mouth had been an annoying symptom of pregnancy since she had reached her third trimester.

" This is amazing, excactly what I needed. A break." Blair answered him with one of the biggest smiles on her face. " with the babies on the way and Milo at home I wanted a week before everything changed. I'm 31 weeks now and by the time we get back I'll be 32. The babies will be coming any minute but I can just relax here. Nothing bothering me." She sighed and relaxed futher on the sunbed.

" I wanted you to have a break before they come so that's why I've booked dinner for us tonight at that restaurant you looked at on the way, sunbathing until then and sleep before you know it." Chuck smirked at her, taking in her graceful body. Even at 31 weeks pregnant with twins the woman looked amazing, her curves were amazing and her face was beautiful. But Chuck loved her, her personality and self awareness of the world. Don't get him wrong though, he loved her body.

" You are amazing," Blair beamed, holding her stomach as the babies kicked. Chuck placed his large hand on her stomach and laughed everytime a strong one came.

" No, you are amazing. I have a son who you care for like he was your own and I have twins on the way. This is you and all you. Take some credit. You do so much for me." Chuck joked, a chuckle shook his masculine body.

" thank you," Blair thanked him, brown met hazel. Blair coughed to break up the eye contact, it worked. "Mr Bass, would you care to swim with me?"

" I'd thought you never ask," Chuck smiled and led Blair to the pool, guiding her in carefully.

The water was cool. Blair squealed when she first walked in, her body shivered for the first five minutes before warming up. Chuck must have had a internal central heating because he didn't even flinch which Blair found annoying. She retaliated by splashing him with the water, wetting his styled hair.

The war had began. Chuck splashed her and she tried to swim away, the baby bump didn't allow it. Her dark curls ended up soaking and sticking to her face. The way she floated on the water made her feel weightless, she felt like her old self. Yes she loved her children but she would love her old body back.

Blair leaned back and floated across the pool. Chuck had pulled himself up on the side of the pool, watching Blair as she swam in the pool. She was so effortlessly beautiful. The way she was so ladylike and poised but could be as reckless and fun as she wanted. This was the girl Chuck wanted to be with forever, Blair wanted to wait. Waiting was hard, Chuck loved her and wanted her more than anything. Blair was his main concern and if Blair wanted to wait then he would wait for her.

The light of his world was right in front of him, just in reach but he couldn't have her. The mistakes he had made and kept making hadn't scared her off and she stood by him. Blair and Chuck were toxic, scary and dangerous but the love they shared was true and real. The love they shared was fantastic and amazing. It could be sweet and sensual, it could be fire and ice. Two complete opposites becoming one whole person.

All those weeks ago, at the night of Chuck's hotel opening that girl had taken his heart. The intelligent, sweet and shy girl had been turned into this strong, bossy and independent woman who Chuck had fallen in love with along the transition.

" Chuck! Stop looking so solemn and come swim with me." Blair yelled at him from across the pool, a huge happy smile on her face. Chuck listened to her demands and jumped in, splashing her face.

" You're beautiful." Chuck let out in a sigh, staring right into her eyes. She tried to look away but her eyes were locked with his.

" stop it! All these compliments will get your nowhere." Blair blushed, covering her red cheeks by dipping her head underwater.

" I only want to be with you," Chuck smiled as he pulled her up, her cheeks were still bright red.

" and I only want to be with you, so..." Blair was cut off by Chuck's lips crashing against hers. It was quickly turned passionate and Blair broke it off before it got any futher. " no... please...no."

" why are we waiting Blair?" Chuck tried.

" because I asked you to wait, it's my decision and you haven't taken any notice or consideration about my opinion. I'm going inside" Blair snapped at him, pulling herself up the pool ladder.

" Blair don't... please..." Chuck begged.

" no... now let me go. In the house and for the next few weeks." Blair said as she strutted off into the house, tears pouring down her face. Chuck was left swimming in the pool by himself.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" They won't talk back you know," Serena laughed as Nate was lying on his stomach talking to the babies, rubbing her stomach lovingly.

" I know now shhh, I want to talk to my children in a private conversation." Nate shushed her jokingly, putting a finger against her lips then pulling his hands down to hold her bump. " hey kids, I don't think your mom likes me. We have known eachother for thirty odd weeks and she won't even kiss me. That is pure hate." A pillow was thrown at his head by Serena. " private conversation." He reminded her then continued talking.

Serena never stopped listening just closed her eyes and leaned back. Loving the way Nate was so gentle and sweet with her. All the people she had been with in the past except Dan had been rough and not caring but Nate. Nate was different and she loved different. The way he woke her up on time with a kiss on the forehead, the way he talked to his children, the way he loved. Nate loved with his whole entire heart, not an inch was left behind.

Serena felt like she didn't deserve him, she was messed up and broken but he was so whole and certain of himself. Serena didn't want to ruin him like she ruined other men, he was special. He was the one. The one that she wanted to spend her life with, the one she wanted to be her forever love, the one she wanted to be her last love. The love you have until your dying breath, the person that is always in your heart no matter what they do.

Nate felt like he would never be good enough for Serena. Serena was amazing, she was beautiful and smart. The perfect girl but his type of people normally married for business not love. If Nate married anyone else other than Serena then he would never marry for love. His love, his great and only love was Serena and he knew she would be his last love.

Serena couldn't help the tears dripping down her face, her eyes glassed over with water. Nate noticed them and wiped them away with his thumb. He didn't talk to her yet, he wanted to give her five minutes to get herself together. The five minutes passed and Serena was ready.

" I'm broken, why would you love me? I break and ruin things without even giving a thought about others. You are so perfect and undamaged, I don't want to be the one to hurt you. I hurt everyone but I don't want to hurt you," Serena cried into his hand that was cupping her sun kissed face.

" I'm not perfect, I'm far from it. You can't break something that is already broken and I'm broken just like you. You can't hurt me, no matter what you do or say you can't hurt me. You would never hurt me." Nate comforted her, he pulled her in for a hug.

" you say that but you don't know the old me. I was a selfish and spoilt trust fund baby, partying and men were my favourite past time. I had no sort of plan and no idea where the hell I would end up but I didn't care." Serena bawled into his shoulder.

" You're not that girl anymore, in front of me I see a women. She's funny and smart, loving and caring, beautiful and extremely sexy. That is the women I have fallen in love with not that girl. I've fallen in love with you." Nate consoled, holding her a little closer. He wanted to feel her breath upon his skin, her heart beating against his chest.

" I am that girl though, that irresponsible teenage girl I was her. I don't know if she ever left." Serena blubbered into the crook of his neck.

" do you want me to be honest?" Nate quizzed.

" completely."

" I don't know if I can love that irresponsible teenage girl. I've fallen in love with a women who is carrying my children. I love all of you. Your past, your present and your future but that's what that teenager is. The past. I will love her but I need her to be in the past so I can focus on our future." Nate explained, feeling bad that he said it but proud he managed to get it out.

" thank you," Serena sighed.

" for what?" Nate asked, confused.

" for being honest with me. No one is ever honest with me and you are. I'm ready now to move on from those days because I know I have a man I'm completely in love with who's completely in love with me." Serena answered with a smile.

" I am completely in love with you," Nate admitted, slightly embarrassed but he'll get over it.

" I am too," Serena replied, placing a gentle kiss on his lips to complete the transaction.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Three days had past, Blair and Chuck kept out of eachothers way. Blair would swim in the morning before going down to the beach for the rest of the day. Chuck played croquet with a neighbouring friend and got extremely drunk at bars in the night. They both wanted to say so much but didn't know how to say everything.

On the fourth morning, Chuck had decided to change his plans and decided to head to the beach. Blair normally swam until lunch so he thought he wouldn't be in her way. Today though Blair had decided to get down to the beach early then swim in the night. Chuck had noticed her straight away in her sheer white shirt with a purple bikini underneath that showed her baby bump beautifully. He slumped down next to her on her picnic blanket, they said nothing until Blair had enough.

" we have to talk," Blair sighed.

" I know," Chuck replied monotonously.

" then talk," Blair demanded.

" why did you run? You know after we kissed. I thought we were ready, your wedding was off." Chuck asked.

" I wasn't ready and I admit you didn't know that. I run because I was a coward. I was scared of this, scared of you, scared of falling in love." Blair confessed, her brown eyes looking out at the ocean.

" don't ever me scared of me, don't be scared of falling in love. I was and it was the worst time of my life then I fell in love with you. My life changed for the better." Chuck begged, tilting her head gently with one of his fingers.

" but that's you. I've fallen in love multiple times and my heart just gets broken. I can feel that this love is different, that's why I can't let my heart break because if you break my heart it would be worse than anyone else. You're my great love." Blair cried with an upset chuckle.

" So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love." Chuck recited.

" what's that?" Blair asked, replaying the words in her mind.

" a quote by E.A. Bucchianeri. I've heard it a couple of times and it fits perfectly for our relationship." Chuck told the very interested and inquisitive Blair.

" I can do one better." Blair challenged him. " It hurts when you have someone in your heart, but you can't have them in your arms."

" that was good but try this. 'The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one' by Charlie Sheen." His eyebrows lifted like he had won but Blair wasn't going to give up.

" It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get by Confucius. I win this fair and square." Blair laughed with the joy of being normal.

" okay you win but I'll get you next time." Chuck said as he lifted his arms in defeat. "see, we can be together without the flirting and sex."

" we've lasted four days because we've kept out the way of eachother." Blair smirked then laid back. Taking in the heat of the summer and Chuck did the same, well he watched Blair aswell.

Blair fell asleep shortly after, Chuck just watched her breathing. Her skin was slightly tanned but she still looked like a Snow White. The baby bump had grown again, the elegance hadn't left her though. She was so short, so skinny and so _petite. _Her breasts had definitely grown, maybe a size or two.

Eventually Chuck fell asleep with her, his body wrapped around hers protectively and lovingly. The sun was warm against their skin and the breeze sent them into a peaceful slumber. It would have been a perfect picture but it was a perfect memory. For him. For her. For them.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate sat at his office waiting for the receptionist to return with his itinerary for when the babies were born. The last few days had been hectic with the final baby shopping and plans, Chuck and Blair were due back tomorrow. He hoped that they had finally worked out their problems or at least some of them. The babies were coming soon, the women were 32 weeks pregnant and with twins they can come from 32 weeks. Nate wanted the best for his nieces and nephews as much as he wanted for his son and daughter.

The knock at the door shook him from his thoughts, he shouted for them to enter thinking it was his receptionist. He was wrong. Georgina Sparks, the one and only, walked through his doors wearing her signature grin and stance. Nate went into shock and just listened to her as she spoke.

" Natie how great to see you," Georgina greeted him, sitting on his office chairs.

" Georgina, skip the pleasantries and get on with what you want. I have work to do and a girlfriend to meet in half an hour." Nate snapped, wanting to get away from that crazy bitch.

" ah, Serena. Didn't think she could land someone like you. She was always a bit of a slut..." Georgina said but Nate cut her off.

" don't you dare talk about the woman I love like that. Get on with it." He seethed through his clenched teeth, angry burning his stomach.

" I want Chuck to get a taste of his own medicine and hurting Serena will hurt him. I need you to sleep with me and then breakup with her." Georgina schemed, a smirk lighting up her face again.

" why would I do that?" Nate laughed in her face, clearing finding her 'joke' funny.

" Because I have a way for you to get out of your marriage without upsetting mommy dearest so as a payment you will sleep with me." Georgina demanded, knowing she will succeed as Nate had no other option.

" No, I won't. Chuck has a way of getting me out of it, he told me before he left." Nate argued, pointing his pointer finger at her.

" well that's funny, Chuck came to me and told me to stay away, I give him two options. I come into Milo's life and I use my first option to get you out of your medieval arranged marriage. The other option was to stay away from Milo while I get you out of your marriage by sleeping with me and cheating on Serena. He also slept with me because I told him so. He picked the second one so don't blame me, blame that bastard." Georgina told him, releasing the secret Chuck had been desperate to keep.

" Chuck wouldn't do that to me." Nate yelled but it was weak. The weakness in his voice showed.

" he did, now tell me which option you pick. I stay in Milo's life and you stay in Serena's or I leave Milo and you cheat on Serena. Either way your marriage will end but you won't end up happy both ways." Georgina pressed him, wanting an answer from him.

" I've picked my option and I'll admit it was hard. I'll marry the girl." Nate decided. In his great big heart he couldn't hurt Chuck, he couldn't hurt Serena either. He loved them both. Chuck had been his best friend since children, they had done everything together for years. Serena was the love of his life, the mother of his children and missing piece to his heart. Which do you pick? None. Nate picked none of them, he'd rather marry the random woman than hurt his friends.

" You can't pick the girl! You're meant to pick one that will hurt you friendship group, pick one right now or I will hurt you bad boy!" Georgina yelled, her red stilettos stamped on the white fluffy carpet, creating no noise which angered the beast more. "I'm going to make you pick, I promise you I'll be back!" Georgina shouted as she walked out his office leaving him with the horror of his own mind.

Everything was so messed up. The boy he had known to be himself nine months ago wasn't the man sitting here today. This man had matured and grown great amounts because he had become a father to two unborn children. An amazing, beautiful woman came into his life and changed it for the better. He was a man now.

Nate wasn't that little boy who chased airplanes with his eyes across the sky or that teenager who smoked weed and drunk buckets. Nate was a son, a friend, a boyfriend and a father, he was a man. The child had left him but he still held a certain youth about him, the one that would make him a great father. He knew his own and everyone else's mistakes but he could deal with them like an adult.

Now the biggest choice of his life had been presented to him and the choices weren't good. Good would be happy friends and a happy self but these choices led everyone to sadness. What do you do? How can you make a good choice without hurting someone?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair and Chuck. The toxic relationship filled with the strongest of love. The couple sat on a romantic and scenic candlelight table on the beach, red roses and fake wine on the table along with the meal. It felt normal. This is what a couple would do but they were friends who also shared twins and a son.

The sun was setting next to them, the colours danced on Blair's features. She looked like a goddess, the white sun dress probably helped the image aswell. The sand squashed between their bare feet, the occasional rock hitting their sole. The breeze was calm and warm, Blair's hair blew a little revealing her neck. Chuck's kryptonite.

" this is like a romantic film, kind of cheesy for a Bass." Blair joked, her sandy foot played with his.

" A Bass can be romantic, I don't know how you don't know. I've done plenty of romantic things. Chocolates and flowers, massages and foot rubs, I even went and bought that breast pump for you. That's love." Chuck laughed nervously, it looked good on him not to be so certain of himself all the time. It was like peeling away a layer and something you love more comes out.

" Love is when someone wakes up at 3am horny and I give it to them. I was 18 weeks pregnant, I was tired and ugly. I felt so unsexy but I would do anything for you." Blair flirted, her toes wrapping and playing with his. It was sweet, something a couple would do after dating a while.

" I must thank you for that but you did slap me when I tried to sleep with you once." Chuck smiled, taking her hand on the table.

_After everyone left from the formal dinner party they had thrown for Bass, the four went to bed. Extremely exhausted from keeping a happy face and good manners. It took two minutes for Nate and Serena to fall asleep, Milo was already sleeping._

_" thank you," Chuck mumbled into Blair's ear, they were lying in bed with pyjamas on. His arm was over her small body, pulling her in closer._

_" for what?" Blair whispered, turning her head slightly in his direction._

_" for calling Milo your son, I'm thinking we can make it official before the twins are born." Chuck said, pulling her to face him._

_" really?" Blair raised her voice a little, when he nodded she kissed him gently on the lips. His pants tightened she noticed this. " Chuck, no it's late. I'm tired,"_

_" I thought you loved me," Chuck moaned into her ear, sending a shiver throughout her petite body._

_" I love you, you mother Chucker. I'm just tired," Blair moaned back, tugging the blanket futher on her body so he couldn't touch her._

_" okay," he sighed, turned his body and flopped back. Leaving Blair cold, untouched excactly how he wanted her to be. He wanted her to need him._

_" god you are a child," Blair blubbered, tears pouring down her face. She wiped them away but they kept pouring._

_" I'm sorry," he tried, she pushed him away. Eventually she stood up and left. Leaving him alone in the room, alone. Serves him right._

_Blair walked across the hallway and was surprised when Serena walked out of Nate's room crying. Blair pulled her in for a hug and they held eachother on the landing. Chuck and Nate listened from their rooms to the girls sobbing, calling themselves dicks. Nate Archibald and Chuck Bass had tried to get sex out of the girls and when refused pushed the girls away._

_The blonde and brunette made their way to Serena's room, flopped on the bed and hugged and cried them self to sleep. Chuck knocked on Nate's door, a bottle of scotch and two glasses in hand. Nate immediately took them as he opened the door. Tonight was going to be a long night._

_XOXOXOXOXOXO _

_" no pick Damon!" Blair screamed at the television, throwing the freshly made popcorn at it. Blair and Serena had locked themselves in Serena's room, watching romantic movies and tv shows._

_" Elena you stupid woman! Your in love with Damon, you just love Stefan!" Serena yelled at the tv, showing more popcorn in her mouth._

_" They should have just shared Katherine, they are getting more sex with her than Elena ever give them." Blair moaned, slamming her finger down on the remote to pause it as the door knocked._

_" what?!" Serena bellowed at the door, the two men walked in, red roses and pink peonies in hand._

_" sorry," the men said in union, putting the flowers on the dressing table._

_Blair stood up, abruptly walked over to Chuck. Slapped him in the face. She then picked up the pink peonies and threw them out of the window. Rubbing her hands together she returned to bed, grabbing the bowl of popcorn._

_" B, I can't move. Do him for me," Serena asked, Blair got up again, slapped Nate, threw the roses out the window and returned to bed._

_" yeah we deserved that," Nate said, rubbing his stinging jaw._

_" no, you deserve more than that. Pressuring two pregnant woman and women who are looking after a baby for sex, that's low even for you," Blair explained, her jaw ticking with annoyance._

_" oh and after we said no, you turned away like a child and left us cold. You didn't even hug us, I was practically alone in that bed." Serena chimed in, throwing popcorn at Nate and Chuck._

_" yes and we said we were sorry, can you forgive us?" Chuck inquired, taking a seat at the end of the large bed._

_" that will require something from Tiffany's, a shopping spree, hundreds of flowers and you two to be our servants for the afternoon." Blair hissed, lifting her hands to her bare neck. Showing there was no jewellery._

_" and not sex slave, a servant. Food, drinks and anything we require." Serena demanded, shoving more popcorn in her mouth. Sticking her tongue out at Nate when he scoffed._

_" okay," Chuck said defeated, he sighed in defeat, rubbing his girlfriend's toes, she stuck her toe in his face. Serena and Blair laughed._

_" okay? No not okay, I'm Nate Archibald." Nate stressed, his face scrunching up in annoyance._

_" and I'm Chuck Bass" the group laughed at his catch phrase, Serena holding her stomach as the twins__ kicked. Strong kids._

_" B, when we have the shopping spree we can buy them maidoutfits, Milo will need a Prince outfit__!" Serena informed a hyperventilating Blair._

_" we can get dressed to match, pink and blue, he can have a purple suit for his waste of space father." Blair joked, holding her chest. The laughing had caused her to have a bad chest._

_" ha ha very funny Waldorf," Chuck seethed, jumping in between the two best friends._

_" and just for fun we want sex toys, not getting any sex off us for a for weeks. Enjoy your hand!" Serena laughed, slapping Chuck's chest. The best friends got up, slipped of their pyjamas and quickly dressed. It took them five minutes but they came out looking like goddesses._

_" oh, don't forget lingerie so we can strut around you in it. Making the abstinence even harder," Blair declared, pulling her pumps on. Helping Serena with hers as she couldn't see her feet._

_" you are going to be the death of me, Blair Waldorf." Chuck concluded, rubbing the bridge of his sharp nose._

_" don't die before we are married, I need the money. Well I don't need, I just want." Blair chortled, pushing a long white glove on her hand._

_" gold digger," Nate mumbled as he grabbed Serena's requested bag from the wardrobe._

_" Chuck should hurry up and die, I'm not getting any younger here." Blair stated, her hands gesturing to her amazing figure and youthful glow._

_The women linked arms, walked out the door to Milo's room. They dressed him to match them in their yellow theme, shoes white like them. Quickly picking him up and an cardboard box containing a baby carrier._

_" Bass!" Blair yelled down the hall, the men both rushed out to the awaiting women and newborn baby boy. " put this on," She held out the baby carrier to him and his face looked shocked. " for me." Chuck immediately agreed when she began batting her thick eyelashes._

" you have to admit that was funny, it feels like so long ago. We have know eachother for a while now but I feel like I've known you my whole life." Blair blushed, her cheeks turning red with pure and utter embarrassment. Chuck loved it when Blair got nervous, her face looked down and her died eyes were bright and on show.

" I feel the same. We've known eachother for such a short time but I know you. The real you not the girl you put on show for everyone else but the woman the you show me. She's strong and independent with the most caring and respectful attitude. You always feel like home. Whenever I feel stressed and angry I come to you because you're my home." Chuck said, his own cheeks turning red. The butterflies in stomach went crazy, Blair's went just as crazy.

" You're my home too. You, Milo and the babies are my home. I've always felt out of place in wherever I stayed or lived but I fit in perfectly with you. I've been trying to forget you and everything you do for me and my children, I can't. You love me and my kids with eveything you are. I'm flawed but instead of changing and trying to fix me you embrace the flaws. You make me feel like the prettiest woman in the world and I can't thank you enough." Blair began to cry, the emotions overwhelming her body.

" Everything I do is for you. The lies are for you, the pain is for you and this untameable, uncontrollable love I feel is for you. I want you to be my everything and anything for the rest of this sad excuse of a life, I love you Blair Waldorf. You make me the happiest man on the earth with every breath, every tiny movement and with my children." Chuck said, rubbing her arm reassuringly. Holding her hand every few words to feel her pulse, the comfort of feeling the best of her heart was unexplainable.

" These weeks have been amazing. The first few weeks were hard then you came around and we had a fantastic few weeks. The Georgina thing happened and I lost it, I had to leave but don't get me wrong, you were the one person I thought about every place I went. I was meant to be getting married but I couldn't because I love you with my whole being, everything I am and will ever be. You are my past, present and future, you and my babies." Blair sobbed, picking up a napkin to wipe her tearing brown eyes.

" all these reasons are why I have a certain question to ask you." Chuck said, he stood and kneeled next to her. Taking her hand lovingly and placing a soft kiss on her wedding ring knuckle. " will you ,Blair Waldorf, marry a poor old soul like me?"

" Chuck..." Blair sighed.

" yes," He replied quickly, desperately awaiting her answer. There was one word he wanted to hear and it hadn't come from her lips yet.

" my water just broke."

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate had insisted on a meal for Serena as it was their last day alone before Chuck and Blair returned, he wanted to break the news to her alone. Serena was tired but decided to accept, a date with Nate was always a nice time. She wanted to celebrate her last few hours alone with him, a dinner date was the perfect place.

The restaurant was on a dock, bunting and fairy lights hung everywhere. The top floor had been hired out by Nate, the floor was theirs to look at on the passing boats. Serena's golden locks had shone in the small lights, her blue eyes glistened like the water around them.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, you have an eye for amazing restaurants. I should let you pick were we eat more often, if it turns out this fabulous I would be very happy." Serena gushed; sipping her fake champagne and looking out on the water.

" you should trust me more, I'm very trustworthy. You wait and see, I'll be the most trustworthy guy in the world one day." Nate betted, his blue eyes holding a look with hers.

" I don't think they have an award for that darling," Serena commented, batting her thick eyelashes.

" Baby, when they see me they will make one," Nate joked, returning his gaze onto the water. " when I was younger my grandfather used to take me fishing and sailing, when I turned ten politics were the only talk."

" You really don't like being a lawyer, why don't you just change careers?" Serena quizzed, looking at him with a loving concern.

" I've built a life around being a lawyer, I have connections and my own company. Changing now would just be a huge step back for me." Nate explained, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.

" Give it a few months, if you still feel the same you will change your job for me. You love me and want me to be happy, I'm not happy unless you are." Serena flirted, holding the hand that was cupping her face.

" Thank you, I wouldn't be happy without you by the way." Nate blushed.

" I wouldn't be happy without you either because I love you and life without you is unbearable." Serena played with him and earned a smile. A song began to play, Nate asked her to dance and she accepted.

_What would I do without your smart mouth_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

_Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

_What's going on in that beautiful mind_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride_

_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

" Nate, you have created a perfect night." Serena mumbled into his suit jacket. His breath felt warm on her head, his hands snaked around her waist.

" You being here has created a perfect night," Nate replied, kissing her hair. They continued to dance.

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all, all of me_

_And you give me all, all of you_

" Serena I need to ask you something and you have to promise not to get mad. I want this to be a happy moment but I won't be hurt if you do get mad, just try not to." Nate asked her sweetly, her head raised and her eyes met his. She was so confused but loved how Nate was so sweet with her.

" I won't get mad, I promise. Now tell me the suspense is killing me and I need a pee. Two babies pushing at my bladder is not the most comfortable thing." Serena gushed nervously, she didn't know what to do or say at that moment. Nate just pulled her back into dance.

_How many times do I have to tell you_

_Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_

_The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_

_You're my downfall, you're my muse_

_My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_

_I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

" Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen, will you marry me?" Nate said as he kneeled down. The tears welled in his eyes, the fairy lights captured them beautifully.

" Nate..." Serena began.

" yes," Nate said hoping for the next word to come out to start with an Y and end with es. He dreamed and hoped of this moment. He hadn't picked a choice but just fell out with his mother by refusing to marry. Losing his mother was hard but Serena and Chuck are worth it.

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all, all of you_

_Give me all of you_

_Cards on the table, we're both showin hearts_

_Risking it all, though it's hard_

" my water just broke..." Serena announced with a scared smile on her sweating face.

This was it, all four babies were coming. Sooner rather than later but coming very soon. There was excitement ahead aswell as heartbreak. Fights and lies, smiles and cries but this was it. The babies were coming and they were scared to rejoice but still rejoicing.

_I give you all, all of me_

_And you give me all, all of you_

**_"Motherhood is amazing. And then it is really hard. And then it is incredible. And then it is everything in between. So, hold onto the good, breathe through the bad, and welcome the wildest and most wonderful ride of your life."_**


	11. The Gift Of Life

Three hours later, Blair lay in a standard hospital bed 6cm dilated and refusing to have an epidural. The whole natural vaginal labour was Blair's dream birthing plan and Chuck couldn't comprehend why she would put her body through that huge amount of pain. A C-Section was offered because they were having twins but she had said no wanting to feel the joy of labour.

" you impregnated me, you did this to me you stupid Basstard!" Blair yelled during a painful contraction. Her hand was squeezing his, causing it to turn slightly red in colour and he flinched a little.

" Blair Baby, I know you don't mean it but can you please stop with the language. Everyone out on the ward can hear you. Big brothers and sisters are here to see the new babies." Chuck tried to calm her down but she would not listen. The pain was getting to much and her pain was being directed on Chuck. Blair would definitely feel sorry for it after the babies were born but right now she didn't care how much she hurt him.

" I don't give a fuck what people can hear, I have two 4lb babies crawling out of my vagina!" Blair screamed at him, not caring who or what people heard.

There was a knock at the door and Lily walked in carrying two balloons and large gift bags. She must have already seen Serena and Nate, the smile on her face was huge and motherhood was glistening in her eyes.

" Blair darling, the whole corridor can hear you but don't you worry about it. When I was in labour with Eric the whole hospital heard me scream and yell disgusting crude things." Lily smiled, placing the balloons and bags on a table in the corner of the room.

" you seem to be the only one that understands, Chuck keeps shouting at me. I'm in so much pain right now, they are coming out of my body." Blair cried, another contraction starting. Chuck wasn't shouting at her but in her pain fiddled mind he was.

" I will have a little talk with my son," Lily reassured her knowing Chuck had done no such thing.

" Thank you, it's really nice talking to someone who knows. Serena may be pregnant but she's as clueless as me." Blair sobbed, pregnancy hormones taking over her petite body.

" I'm glad I can be of service. Now let's talk about something to get your mind of it. Baby names!" Lily pointed out, loving the upcoming topic of names.

" We have a few picked out but we don't know the genders yet and ohhhhhhhhh." Another contraction hit Blair as she was speaking. She grabbed Lily and Chuck's hands and squeezed like they were stress balls. After a few breaths the contraction ended, leaving a slight remaining pain.

" Charles is out and so is Cornelia, Blair doesn't think Milo goes right with it and I agree. There is two girl names picked and two boy names but we don't know what we'll be using next." Chuck explained, giving Blair a cup of ice chips and a cup of ice cold water.

" I think the babies will be loved no matter the names. I have four grandchildren being born today, Serena is 7cm dilated and Milo Charles Bass at home. I'm a grandma to five, that's magnificent." Lily spluttered, a few tears spilling out of her ocean blue eyes.

" you will be a great grandmother Lily, I can't wait till you meet them. You can spend as much time as you want with them, it's up to you." Blair blubbered, feeling her own tears coming.

" Don't say that or I'll be with them everyday." Lily laughed and then her phone beeped. " I have to get going, Eric's calling and Serena's 8cm dilated now. Ta Ta." Lily waved goodbye and closed the door. Leaving the couple in silence.

They hadn't said anything about Chuck's proposal, Blair's water had broken just as she was about to announce her answer. Blair had wondered had she picked the right choice or was she doing wrong. The answer chose the way their life was going to be and it was a big responsibility to have. Does she want to marry him? Yes. Is it a good idea? No. Should she do it? No one knows.

The silence was pleasant, it welcomed deep and pure thought. Chuck needed to think right now because he didn't know if he was angry or sad or guilty. He wanted to marry Blair more than anything, it was the one thing in the world he was certain of except for the love of her and his children. The world was filled with uncertainty but with Blair he felt safe, the type of safety you felt at home.

Home is a funny word. Chuck felt at home with Nate and Serena, with Lily and Eric. He felt at home when he worked in Bass, visiting his childhood days when his father worked there. He would be with the nanny in the waiting room. But he felt most at home with Blair and Milo, the twins being the new addition. This was his forever home.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Serena was 8cm dilated and in no pain at all. It felt like pressure and period cramps but nothing major, she was a lucky women. Nate had stared at her for the last four-five hours, wondering what she would have said if her waters hadn't broken at that moment. It was a big question and Serena hadn't given the big answer. Nate understood that she was in labour and time was the best thing to give her but he just wanted to know. To know if they would be married.

The nurse was checking her over, measuring how far along she was. The moment the nurses head lifted from the under the blanket you could see the worry on her rounded features. Something was wrong and the hated to know what it was but they had to know.

" Baby A is breech. We need to preform an emergency C-Section straight away. I'll go check with the main surgeon now to see when we can fit you in." The nurse was going to leave before Serena cut her off.

" No! My birthing plan, it's not in my birthing plan!" Serena shouted to the nurse, balls of tears pelting down her red face.

" I'm sorry Miss Van Der Woodsen but it's best for your babies. With them being so small already we need to make sure the birth goes well." The nurse explained and walked out the room with a sympathetic smile on her chubby warm face.

" Serena my darling, it'll be okay. We'll have our babies sooner, think of the good not the bad." Nate comforted her, holding her sobbing body close.

" I know, it's just not the way I wanted it. I'll be okay." Serena tried to pump herself up, smiling at the thought of children coming soon. " we have to see Blair and Chuck before the surgery."

" I don't think it's the best idea, walking helps the baby come faster and we don't want that." Nate explained, laughing at the eagerness of his heavily pregnant girlfriend.

" they are two doors down and you can get me a wheelchair. Come on," Serena begged, a funny childish pout on her face.

" I'll go talk to Chuck now and then we'll wheel Blair in here. She's only 6cm and hers babies aren't breech." Nate bargained, falling to Serena's attempts of flattery.

" don't be long my love," Serena flirted.

" I would never leave you for long, my little buttercup." Nate blushed before leaving the room and walking down two doors. Worrying about everything that was happening, his girlfriend in surgery with his babies. He knocked the door and a flustered Chuck opened. " man, Serena wants to see Blair,"

" what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Chuck observed, Nate was pale and shaky. Chuck immediately noticed when anything was wrong with his normally bouncy best friend.

" Serena has to have a c-section, baby A is breech." Nate sighed, slumping down on one of the waiting room chairs. Chuck closed the door and sat down next to him. Sighing in rythmn with Nate.

" wow... is she okay? Are the babies okay?" Chuck asked, shocked by the recent revelation.

" she's perfect, taken labour like a champ. The twins are fine, heartbeats and everything are fine. What about Blair and the babies?" Nate rasped, his voice breaking with sadness and fear.

" Blair is in pain, bad but she won't take anything for it. The babies heartbeats are normal but the rate of everything moving is worrying them. A c-section might be needed if they don't start moving in the next five hours." Chuck answered him, holding his head in his hands. Nate did the same.

" oh... how much is she?" Nate questioned, filling the nervous silence.

" 6cm. She's been like that the last 4 hours though, the babies aren't moving." Chuck said, wiping the tears welling in his hazel eyes.

" eight months ago we were different men. Partying, drinking, drugs and sleeping with different women. We are sitting here talking about our children and our girlfriends. Who would have thought?" Nate chuckled, ruffling a hand through his blonde hair.

" I'm a different man, I'm happy I'm not the same person I was a year ago. For once in my life, normal is fantastic and I'm cherishing it." Chuck chirped, happy with the life around him.

" Chuck..." Blair's voice mumbled from the open door frame she was standing by. Leaning on the wooden frame for support.

" Blair, you should go lie back down. Standing will be uncomfortable for you." Chuck told her.

" I want to go see Serena," Blair demanded softly, holding a loving gaze with him.

" Serena wants to see you too," Nate chimed in.

" let's go then, I'm trying to get to 7cm." Blair said as she waddled over to Chuck. She grabbed his hand for support and he held her up.

The normally 30 second walk took five minutes for Blair, with a contraction coming, the labour waddle and the pregnancy waddle. Blair stood before the door with a strong confident look on her face but she could see from Nate that something was wrong and she was breaking. She knocked the door and entered after hearing Serena's voice.

" B! I'm so happy to see you." Serena blurted, tapping her hand at the end of her bed to signal Blair to sit down beside her. Blair took the invitation to rest her tired body, plopping herself down in the most comfortable position.

" I'm so happy to see you too, S. What's wrong? Why did Nate look like he's seen death?" Blair quizzed, desperate to get an answer out of her.

" Baby A is breech, I have to have a c-section. The nurse is coming in to tell us when we will be having it but my guess is within the next hour." Serena confided, trying to stop the tears.

" oh S. You'll be fine and everything will be perfect just like you planned." Blair confirmed, trying to shake her own tears.

" it's not what I planned." Serena added.

" I know but in the end you will have two beautiful babies. A boy and girl, a son and a daughter. Everything will be fine." Blair comforted her, the pain of another contraction came.

" thank you," Serena thanked her.

" I'll do anything for my best friend and my maid of honour." Blair smirked, knowing the reaction her statement would get.

" Blair, you are accepting my proposal ?" Chuck rushed in smiling.

" of course I do, you big dummy. I'll marry you Chuck Bass." Blair smiled, Chuck gently kissed her strawberry pink lips.

" We can have a joint wedding, a summer would be great!" Serena gushed, more reactions exploded.

" you'll marry me?" Nate chimed in.

" yes, I'll marry you." Serena accepted, placing her lips against his sweetly. " we are getting married!"

" this is amazing, we should go on a talk show or something. Best friends have twins on the same day and marry on the same day. Also two of them are brother and sister." Chuck joked, they all laughed.

" We have a great life," Serena stated.

" you won't be saying that when you have two screaming babies and no sex for 6 weeks." Blair laughed, holding her stomach as she did. Her stomach was _so _sore.

" hey! You have three babies and Chuck Bass is your fiancé, sex is the one thing on his mind." Nate informer Blair who rolled her brown eyes.

" true." Chuck shrugged, his shoulder was soon slapped by Blair. " we have to go now Mrs Bass, the doctors have to check how far along you are now you've walked a bit." The two said goodbye and walked out into their own rooms. Smiling and joking.

Serena knew that if she didn't accept the marriage proposal then she would lying to herself. Yes it was really soon and yes she wanted to take time for herself but she loved Nate. The joy and glee she felt went he asked was tremendous and made her feel like a little girl who had been asked out by the boy she liked. Serena loved that feeling and always felt it around Nate. Why would she say no?

Blair's decision had been a bit more difficult. The good and bad weighed about the same and thinking of what was the best for her and her children was hard. The best thing for her and her children was Chuck. Chuck was an amazing father, brother, son, lover and boyfriend, of course he would make an amazing husband. The answer was always in front of her and she made her decision. Yes.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The surgeons wheeled her down the hall in her bed, the bright hospital lights blinded her. Serena was all scrubbed up in blue and so was Nate, ready to go in for surgery. The bed reached a door and she was wheeled through it, then it stopped.

A mask was placed on her face and she began to feel calmer than she had been feeling. The worry had left her and Serena felt nothing. Nate was hovering by the side of her, holding her hand. There was then pressure on her stomach, it didn't hurt just like she badly needed to pee.

The pressure didn't stop until a cry was heard. A baby's cry. Serena could see in the corner of her the baby being looked over by doctors, it was so tiny. It looked like a little doll, breakable and sweet.

" Miss Van Der Woodsen, Mr Archibald, here is your daughter. She is 4lb 4 ounces. Born 12:35am" One of the nurses came up with the baby and placed her in Nate's arms. He cradled and swayed with her.

" Welcome to the word Celia Serena Archibald," Nate cried, looking down at the small pink bundle.

Another cry broke the day dream and this baby was a bit bigger. This must be their son, he had such blonde hair. The nurse brought him over and placed him in Nate's other arm.

" Here is your other daughter, 4lb 9 ounces and born 12:37am" The nurse smiled before walking away, back to the NICU team.

" a girl, you're meant to be a boy." Nate whispered to the, no reply. " no matter, ask mommy what your name is."

" Every girl must have a best friend, welcome to the world Cornelia Blair Archibald." Serena smiled.

They had picked names after names, wanting to fit friends names in there but still sounding pretty and elegant. In the end they ended up with two girl names and a one boy name, Fitzwilliam Leigh Archibald. They found it funny since the first night they met, they said their names were Fitz and Celia.

The babies were taken back of them and sent to the NICU, it broke their hearts not to be with their children but it gave Serena time to rest up from the surgery. The stay would be long and they knew it, the girls were so small and fragile.

The Archibalds were finally here.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

" Blair, you're ten centimetres, you need to start pushing now." The doctor instructed her, Blair was tired and feeling extremely weak. It had been two hours since Serena had her surgery and the Bass babies had finally started to move.

" I can't, I'm tired." Blair whimpered, shaking her sweaty tangled head.

" Blair baby, you can. Do it for me." Chuck urged her on, holding her hand in support.

" I can't... I can't..." Blair shook her head again.

" you can. You are strong and these babies are depending on you so push for me, baby." Chuck begged her, ready to meet his babies.

" okay..." Blair yelled as she pushed for the first time. Her back flopped back on her pillows and she was ready for another one. After three pushes, she felt like she was getting nowhere. " Chuck, I can't I'm tired. They're not coming."

" they are, a few more pushes." Chuck encouraged her and she listened. Two more pushes and there was a cry. Baby Bass 1 was here.

" its a boy!" The doctor announced, Chuck face lit up and Blair smiled.

" A boy, Blair. Our little baby boy." Chuck sobbed, actual tears sliding down his cheeks.

" I love you," Blair stated before pushing again.

" I love you too," Chuck replied, holding the premature baby boy in his arms. There was a cry, Baby Bass 2 was here.

" it's a girl!" The doctor announced again, Blair flopped back in relief. It was over.

" our baby girl," Blair cried as the baby was being placed on her naked chest. " Bailey Harriet Bass, welcome to the big bad world."

" welcome my son, Henry Nathaniel Bass" Chuck smiled, craddling his son.

The scene was picture perfect, a mother holding her daughter while the father cradled his son. Baby Basses were finally here but were gone just like that. The NICU was their destination and Blair and Chuck wasn't allow to see them while they were being checked over.

The Basses were finally here.

———————————————————————

_They __have__ achieved success _

_who have lived well,laughed often, and loved much;_

_who have enjoyed the trust of_

_ pure men and women,_

_the respect of intelligent people and_

_the love of little children;_

_who have filled their niche and accomplished their tasks;_

_who have left the world better than they found it whether by an improved poppy,a perfect poem or a rescued soul;_

_who have never lacked appreciation of Earth's beautyor failed to express it;_

_who have always looked for the best in others andgiven them the best they had;_

_whose lives were an inspiration;_

_whose memory a benediction._

_-_

_Bessie Anderson Stanley, 1904_

_ ———————————————————————_

_The partner who hogs the covers every night, because he/she is not out with someone else._

_The child who is not cleaning his room, but is watching TV, because that means he is at home and not on the streets._

_For the taxes that I pay, because it means that I am employed._

_For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends._

_For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat._

_For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am in the sunshine._

_For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning,And gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home._

_For all the complaints I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech._

_For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation._

_For my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm._

_For the lady behind me in church that sings off key, because it means that I can hear._

_For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear._

_For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard._

_For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive._

_-_

_Unknown_

_XOXOXOXOXOXO_

**A/N- short chapter but I really couldn't make it any longer. The names have taken me ages to perfect but I've finally got there. **

**If your wondering about why the Bass baby girl is called Bailey, it's because there was a singer called Mildred Bailey. I've been calling the babies Mildred and Gertrude all the way through and I thought it was funny. **


	12. Closure

Life. The one thing on the humongous planet everyone wants. It can be great for some and awful for others but we put up with it and the rubbish it brings. We live unsafely so we have life, we love unsafely so we have life.

Life doesn't mean we are breathing, that's living but life is different. It's what we do that brings life to our lives. If we are safe and boring we don't have life but if we go out there and embrace the day we have life. We have it when we fall in love, when we go insane, when we do something insane.

The four young adults had made a life for themselves when four tiny human beings were born. That was eight hours ago for the Archibalds and six hours for the Basses. These premature infants had brought life to four broken lifeless lives.

The four parents sat in Serena's hospital room, waiting until they could see the babies in the NICU. Twenty minutes and then they would see their babies again, they couldn't wait. Serena lay on her bed with Blair sitting at the end, Nate took one armchair while Chuck took the other.

" We've done it, our babies are here!" Serena gushed, looking over at the pink and blue balloons in the corner. Everyone still thought they had a son and Nate and Serena wanted to keep it a secret until their best friends saw their two daughters.

" I actually thought I would end up having a c-section, they weren't moving and I was so tired. It was like fitting two coconuts through something the size of a golf ball." Blair squirmed, hitting the sore spot on her upper leg. She winced.

" I do not need that visualisation, seeing Serena being cut open was enough." Nate cringed, yawning while rubbing the bridge of his nose. He had been up for hours of the night and when Serena fell asleep, he stayed up and watched her.

" you wouldn't want to know about her episiotomy then." Chuck added with a smirk.

" what's that?" Nate quizzed, clearly off his Chuck Bass game today.

" it's where they cut from the vagina to the anus, I had one because my body wasn't physically pushing the babies out anymore." Blair laughed, holding her painful stomach as she did.

" please don't tell me anymore, I don't want to be sick before I see my children." Nate wriggled in his blue armchair, his nosed was scrunched making him looking very unattractive.

" children, doesn't that sound really weird. We are parents, mommies and daddies." Serena beamed, a huge smile forming on her lips.

" it's probably the weirdest thing I've heard but I can't wait for them to start calling me it and when I actually start feeling like it. I held them for ten minutes before they were wheeled off. I want to see them more, hold them more and kiss them more." Blair said to the floor, her heart ached because she missed her children so much.

" You're their mommy no matter what happens, we will see them in fifteen minutes and it'll be great." Serena added, holding her best friends gaze.

" I can't wait for Milo to meet them, when they are together is when I'll start feeling that family feel." Chuck explained, ruffling a large hand through his dark brown hair.

" I know how you feel, I'm missing Milo. We had a week away and now we are in the hospital for the next few days, the babies aren't home for a few weeks. Can you ask Lily to bring him here?" Blair asked the two siblings, knowing that they had Lily wrapped around their little fingers right now.

" I'll call her later, she's busy with Eric's university. They have messed up his credits or something, he'll be home next week." Chuck replied.

" I can finally meet Eric, I can't wait! He will be like my brother and lawfully my brother-in-law." Blair smiled, loving her extended family already.

" he will love you too, he's majoring in drama and photography. I think he'll be an amazing director or photographer but back to the point, he has a thing for the dramatics. He will love you." Serena teased, knowing how to annoy Blair off by heart.

" ha ha, you're are very funny. You should be a comedian." Blair scoffed dramatically and earned a laugh of her fiancé and friends.

" Blair Baby, she's joking. Now we have five minutes so let's get the babies outfits together so we can leave straight away." Chuck calmed her dramatics down by bringing up the only topic that would. Babies.

" I've already got them in a bag, I don't want anyone to know their genders yet." Blair pointed out.

" okay, well we have two minutes. Want to start walking down?" Chuck suggested and had two very large scoffs thrown back at him.

" I've just had a surgery on my stomach, no thank you brother." Serena snarled jokingly.

" remember two coconuts through a golf ball sized hole. Walking is _not_ going to happen, two wheelchairs please." Blair said as she raised two skinny fingers like a child counting to ten.

Chuck left to get the wheelchairs and was soon back with them. The women slowly waddled over to them and gently placed their sore bottoms onto the black cushion. The men took their women and wheeled them to the nearest elevator where they pressed the correct floor number.

The elevator dinged to annouced their arrival and they left the metal cubicle. The NICU was a large room filled with about six incubators, a small section by each for family. When the door opened the women immediately stood and waddled over to the signs that said Bass Babies and Archibald Babies, the men followed.

" You have a son and a daughter, congratulations!" Serena congratulated them, looking at her niece and nephew.

" you didn't tell us that you had two daughters and not a son. You are a sneak!" Blair replied, staring at one of nieces in the incubator. Chuck had paid for them to put all the babies closer to eachother so visiting was easier for them and guests.

" My daughters are gorgeous and if you are nicer to me I will tell you their names." Serena bargained, gently putting her hands through one of the holes to touch her nephew.

" I'm sorry," Blair apologised, hoping that the names would be revealed.

" Baby A, the one by Nate, is Celia Serena Archibald and Baby B is Cornelia Blair Archibald. They will be best friends just like us!" Serena sang.

" you named a baby after me." Blair began to cry "I had a baby this morning, don't do this to me." She was crying tears of joy, her niece was named after her and she loved it.

" what about your babies?" Nate chimed in, happy with the reactions of his children's names.

" our son is Henry Nathaniel Bass." Chuck told him, Nate looked shocked. Never in his life had he thought a baby would be named after him.

" Man... you're pulling at my heartstrings." Nate blubbered, it was more of a manly cry.

" don't forget about our daughter, Bailey Harriet Bass." Blair added, clearly wanting the women of the families to be noticed.

" Bailey?" Serena asked, confused because she thought that they would have picked a family name. The kid being half Bass half Waldorf.

" Mildred Bailey was a influential jazz singer, it's also derived from old french. I loved it when I heard it and then I told Chuck, he loved it too. We knew we had to name our daughter it and now we have." Blair explained, placing a hand on the top of the plastic incubator that held her daughter.

" Celia, Cornelia, Bailey and Henry. They sound so good together, we've all picked good." Chuck commented, his eyes focused on his son.

Chuck and Blair sat by their children, watching them breath and wriggle. It was so cute. Henry had dark brown hair like his father with his mother round brown eyes. His jaw was sharp and his nose was very defined, he was a mini Chuck. Bailey had softer features but still had the strong jaw like her brother and father. The small tuff of hair on her head was almost black and she was pale, she looked like a little Snow White.

Serena and Nate stood over the incubators, placing their hands through the holes to touch the tiny babies. The girls both looked like their mother and father, bright golden blonde hair and strong ocean blue eyes. They were going to be models when they were older, they already had the long tanned legs for it.

The four stunning parents had four stunning babies that were the light of their lives. They were their lives, everything in and about their lives were about those tiny human beings.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck and Blair returned to the plain hospital room around 12pm ready for lunch. They were exhausted, staying up since 8am the previous day would do that to you, having a baby would do that and falling in love would do that too.

No. The brunette couple were not falling in love, they were completely, unconsciously and uncontrollably in love. The love had been there for a while, since the first scan but now they felt like they could express it with words and actions. It finally felt okay to say what the overwhelming feelings in their hearts were saying.

Blair's heart was saying that this love could never stop, it was everlasting. She was still apprehensive but this love was rare and she couldn't afford to lose it. This love was addictive, you had one taste and you could never stop wanting more. This love was toxic, it pulls you in and badly scares your heart but you always come back for more. This love was forever, you didn't go looking for it but you never want to leave because you love that love so much.

Chuck's heart was saying that he would never leave, by her side is where he belonged. Blair never stood by his side and he never stood by her side, they were equals and stood together. As equals they made a family and an amazing relationship both filled with love and appreciation. As equals they showed the world how great pure love could be.

" Chuck..." Blair mumbled.

" yes." Chuck said quickly, she looked sad for a woman who had just seen her newborn children.

" have I picked right?" Blair asked, clearly haunting her own tired mind with the same question.

" I don't know, have you?" Chuck returned the question, the question was now haunting his own fatigued mind.

" I don't know. It felt so right at the moment but now after seeing them it doesn't feel so right. When I said yes we didn't have the twins but when I saw them it felt different. Like I just wanted the best for them but it was the best for me and you, not them. Bailey and Henry deserve so much and the relationship we have isn't that." Blair explained.

" So are we over?" Chuck sighed. He didn't want it to be but he didn't have the strength to argue after hours awake. Blair had just given birth to his son and daughter so she didn't deserve to be argued with.

" no, I'm just confused. It's a confusing time, I'm reevaluating my life so the twins are okay. They come first and I need you to put them before your love for me." Blair requested, one tear slipped down her cheek leaving a slight water mark.

" I'll try but my love for you goes before anything, it goes before my own life. We'll work on it, the ring can be a promise ring that one day we will marry but right now we are working on it. Serena and Nate can have their wedding and we can wait for a while. Don't give up on me." Chuck begged, he cupped her pale face in his large man hands.

" is it enough? We argue and fight, I don't want that around our children. I don't know if we will be any better in a year or two or ten." Blair continued, the worry eating her up inside.

" we are learning from our mistakes everyday, finding better ways to be better people but we are not perfect. We are fucked up and we are never gonna change but we can improve. We can improve ourselves for our children, family and friends. You are my best friend, lover, girlfriend, fiancée, soul mate and hopefully one day my wife. Let's finally be together properly." Chuck insisted, his thumb drew circles on her cheek gently.

" you have been the one for me since the day I met you, from that day the butterflies never died. We used to be fresh and new, you were the father of my child but it's changed. We are damaged and broken with flaws no one could perfect, I have a son and daughter I want to protect with all my heart. Things are different now, my vision of the future has changed and I don't know if me and you are together in it." Blair opined, her view of the future had changed and now she was confused. Did she want the struggle of a relationship when raising two newborn babies and a month old son?

" so are we done? Is this how we finally give up? I thought we would put up a fight, we are both fighters but we've just given up. If you really don't want it, I'll leave you alone and just help raise my kids. Know that I'll always love you," Chuck ventured, wanting to get that out there.

" We are not done. It's all too much to think about a wedding and also raise three kids. Give me time and when things have a bit of order, we can be together. Let me get my life sorted as you get yours sorted." Blair smiled weakly.

" what do I have to get in order?" Chuck quizzed with a scoff, his life was perfect.

" Lily. She was here yesterday but she's your mother and you need it sorted. Serena is your twin sister, she needs your support to get the information about your birth. Be a good son, brother and boyfriend and do it for me." Blair explained, her does brown eyes glaring deeply into his black soul.

" I would give you the world." Chuck stated.

" that's what I'm worried about," Blair mumbled.

" why?" Chuck sharply asked, his inquisitive eyes burning onto her head of brown curls.

" I don't want the world. I don't want money, expensive gifts or huge houses. I want you, me and our children to be happy. Money doesn't buy happiness and I want for you to learn that. Show me love by saying not getting me things, I have enough stuff already." Blair went on, Chuck listened to her intently. Anything Blair wanted he would do at the click of her skinny fingers.

" do you want to know why I buy you jewellery? A necklace hangs next to your heart, I love knowing I'm the owner of that heart. A bracelet is wrapped around your wrists where your pulse is, feeling your heartbeat is the greatest feeling alive. Earrings clip on your ears where I want you to hear how much I love you each and everyday. Finally rings, one day I want to put a wedding ring on your finger and it gives me great practice. Everything has a reason, you just don't know it." Chuck revealed, Blair gasp. She held her small chest as the warm tears slowly streamed, accentuating her soft features.

" You are a romantic, I love it." Blair said, wiping the tears from her red cheeks. " I want to marry you, I really do but I need some time to get my head fixed. I'm saving myself."

" Save yourself before anything else, always pick you over me. I just want you to be happy and healthy. You need time and I get that but always know my heart will belong to you. You are the owner and will always be the owner. If you love me don't let go." Chuck pressed. He was finally getting a bit agitated and his red burning anger was slowly pouring out of him.

" I love you but I need to let you go. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but to find me I need to just be me. I try to be a better person with you and I can't do that, I need to be selfish. I need to be a mother before I can be a lover." Blair bewailed. Chuck knew she was right, to be together they needed to be a mother and father first.

" I agree. Let's put Bailey and Henry first, we can work things out later." Chuck agreed. The anger turned in sorrow, he loved her so much and he felt crushed.

The couple said nothing else, they just sat there and eventually fell into a deep slumber. Their dreams were filled with good and bad. Their children were always the main aspect of the dream but Chuck and Blair's relationship never showed. Like it was completely unimportant to them when it actually meant everything to the couple.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_Two days later_

Serena's large blue eyes slowly fluttered open as she heard a small cry, Nate was already awake on the blue armchair next to her. He was holding two pink bundles of blankets, Cornelia and Celia who had both just started to fuss. She carefully picked up Cornelia from his arms and cradled her on her hospital bed. Gently butterfly kissing the tip of her button nose.

" Hey my baby girls, why are you here? I thought you are meant to be in the NICU. Have you been bad girls?" Serena cooed, obviously meaning for Nate to answer.

" the nurses want you to try nursing for the first time, your milk came in yesterday and we expressed it a bit so they want to see if the babies can latch and suck. I had a very detailed talk and I'm now fully educated." Nate laughed, his thumb drew circles on Celia's tiny tanned face.

" okay..." she quietly mumbled. "Can you help me please?" Serena asked with a nervous and embarrassed smile on her tired features.

" of course," Nate agreed, he didn't ever want Serena to feel uncomfortable around him. He loved her and she loved him, that's always going to be and feel comfortable.

Nate placed Celia in the white plastic crib by the side of Serena's bed and then walked up to his fiancée. Serena lifted up a side of her baby pink silk pyjama top to reveal a sore breast, Cornelia immediately went for its nipple and quickly began drinking the breast milk. It felt _weird. _Serena loved it, the closeness you felt with your child at that very moment was amazing.

" that is probably the most amazing sight I've ever seen." Nate began to cry. It had been a long few days but the peace he saw between mother and child made it all worth it.

" honey don't cry, it is amazing. She's just connecting with me in a way I didn't think a mother could connect with her child." Serena gushed, pulling out the other sore breast so Cornelia could feed. Nate took the hint, he picked up Cornelia and helped the baby latch. When he stepped back he saw the most beautiful sight ever, his two children feeding off their mother. He grabbed his phone and took a picture before Serena could object.

" I stand corrected, this is the most amazing sight I've ever seen." Nate said while putting away his phone, looking at Serena who had a pout on her face.

" thank you," Serena said.

" what for my love?" Nate questioned, confused.

" for being here. I'm so lucky to even meet you but to have your children, to be your fiancée. I'm so very lucky, i wouldn't change this for a second." Serena explained, she looked down at her children who were feeding away happily.

" I'm the lucky one. You are sensational. You are beautiful, creative and funny, you are everything I've ever wanted. I get to feel a love like no other everyday because you are here. I want to sing on top of a rooftop that you are mine so no other will ever have you, you are the only girl I'll ever have you. This world might be gigantic, there might be seven billion people on it, there might be people chasing us left and right but you are the only person I want." Nate smiled, taking in his gorgeous fiancée and two beautiful daughters.

" i was getting used to being this girl who slept around, never settled or calmed. Then one magical night led to a whirlwind romance and two daughters who are nursing on me right now. I'm done with that life, I have you and my children and that's all that matters. Im yours and your mine." Serena said, the babies had finished feeding so now she was dressing them ready to go back to the NICU. " I can't wait till we can see them for longer,"

" it'll be soon my love, they are growing stronger everyday and soon will be big enough to come home." Nate comforted her while placing the dressed twins in their cribs. He placed a gentle kiss on both their foreheads before giving them to go back to the NICU. "I'll miss my daughters too."

" our daughters." Serena corrected him. " Do you know I haven't seen Blair in two days? My best friend had a baby and I haven't seen her. When they say your social life is non existent after having a baby, they mean your social life is non existent after having a baby."

" she's struggling. Her relationship with Chuck is on hold, Bailey isn't gaining any weight and Henry can't breastfeed. He can't break down galactose so he's on a specialised formula. The connection you feel when breastfeeding she doesn't get with Henry. You'll talk again soon, you are both new mothers to twins. It'll all work out." Nate reassured her, knowing that her biggest fear when she was pregnant was that Blair and her would drift apart.

" I didn't know it was that bad. Oh, she must be hurting. She's always been fighting for attention over me, wanting someone to notice her. Blair thinks I can't see but I'm ditzy not stupid. I have this perfect life and hers is not going as planned. I can't take the spotlight from her again." Serena informed him. Ever since Serena had met Blair's mother she could sense the jealousy overflowing from her best friend. Serena never wanted to be better than her, she wanted them to be equals.

" Her life is going excactly like someone would expect for an Upper East Sider. She's Blair Cornelia Waldorf, she's strong and feisty. The world will never bring her down." Nate conversed. He had known Blair since he was a teen, he knew that she was strong and just needed a push. Nate loved Blair, he always had and always will. Just not in the same way he used to, this was a first love love.

" you should be a therapist, you are seriously good at calming me down. Helping me sort through all the troubling thoughts in my head." Serena teased, the both let out a small chuckle.

" I might change my job then, I could be a therapist but only to blondes. It'll be funnier that way." Nate joked, they both laughed again.

" I love you," Serena beamed.

" I love you too," Nate copied.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_Three days later_

Chuck Bass. A name that was feared by many and only loved by a handful. That same Chuck Bass was sitting in his kind of fiancée hospital room wondering how to tell her they were over. He didn't want to wait, he couldn't be waiting for something that might not happen.

It would break her heart and that's what he was afraid of. The mother of his children was the most important thing in the world to him but he couldn't see her everyday thinking that they would be together when there was a huge chance they wouldn't be.

Chuck cleared his throat, Blair looked up at him. She saw the look on his face and immediately knew something was wrong. Her heart sank when he began to speak and it became clear of his intentions by the first syllable.

" Blair..." he cleared his throat again. " I love you and you know that... but I can't wait anymore. I'm done. I've waited for months and then you said yes, I thought everything was going fine but then you give up on us. So now I'm giving up. I need to let you go so let me let you go."

" you promised me you would wait for me," Blair worried, she had no tears. She couldn't cry for that man anymore.

" I did but I was wrong. We have tried to be together for nine months but now I need to move on. We have children together and I get that we need to see eachother but other than for the kids I don't want to see you. I'll live at The Empire and you'll live at your apartment." Chuck announced, he sounded confident but inside he was breaking.

" what about where the babies live? What about Milo? I'm breastfeeding him now, he's my son." Blair confirmed. It was true, Milo was her son.

" They can all live with you, I'll see them on from Monday night to Wednesday morning and Saturday. We can work it out from there." Chuck explained, he was being strong. Trying to look and sound strong but he wasn't strong. He was weak.

" okay... Serena and Nate can live with the girls at The Empire and I'll with all my babies at the apartment... Are we done? Is this it?" Blair began to cry, her walls had finally been broken down and everything was coming out.

" I think we've been done for a long time but we've been holding onto something that's no longer there. We need to move on before we hurt the kids, before we hurt ourselves more than we already have." Chuck denied that there was anything left of their relationship, knowing inside that their relationship would always be there.

" I think that your kidding yourself. Maybe we are holding onto something but it's still there. The love in my heart is real and always going to be there. It's still in your heart and you are just denying it because you are scared." Blair gulped, wiping away the final tears that slipped down her cheeks.

" There's nothing left that's worth fighting for. I'm always going to love you, that's something that's never going to stop. But I love you as the mother of my children, nothing more, nothing less." Chuck shuddered, hating the untruthful words that were coming out of his own mouth.

" please stop lying to yourself. If you keep hiding from the truth you will never know what's real and what's not. My love for you is real and I know you love me too. Not as the mother of your children but as a lover, girlfriend, fiancée. Please. Please stop lying to me and to yourself ." Blair pleaded, wanting to get some sort of truth out of him.

" I'm not lying, I love you but not the way you want me to. I don't love you anymore, not like that. Give up the red raging fire now or you are going to get burned." Chuck said, it felt like a stab to her heart.

" I'd rather get burned than lie about my feelings, don't lose your family because you are giving up on us. This is real life, if you say you're finished now then we are always going to be finished." Blair found her strength, she didn't want to seem weak infront of Chuck. This was her moment to be strong.

" I'm done... I'm done. This is it for us and we both have to deal with that." Chuck sighed, the feeling of forever ending hit him. It hurt like a little bitch.

" get out!" Blair shouted, it startled him a bit.

" I'll see you in an hour, I'll get coffee." Chuck told her but she had other plans.

" no, get out of this hospital. You can take the twins home with me but I don't need you now. You can come to the NICU at visiting hours, I'll have the parental hours. I don't want to see you anymore, I don't need you anymore." Blair started as a yell but ended quietly.

" goodbye Blair," Chuck said he opened the large wooden door.

" goodbye, Charles." She said, he walked out of the room. The door closed and as Chuck walked he thought about stuff, thought about everything. The kids that weren't even a week old or the women he had just hurt. That conversation had to happen but it still hurt like hell. They needed closure.

_'Oh, you can't hear me crySee my dreams all dieFrom where you're standingOn your ownIt's so quiet hereAnd I feel so coldThis house no longerFeels like home'_

_-_

_Ben Cocks _


	13. Farewell

A great love is difficult. It's scary and painful but then at the end of all that torture is a bright light. A sort of light that no one could ever contain, it's free and wild. It pierces your heart and stays there until the end of your time. The only person who can control this light is the one who give it to you in the first place, the person you love.

That person gives you strength and hope, hope that someone could love you for being you. That person loves you for being you and hates when you try being someone else. That person is the one you love with every fibre of your body, every breath you take is dedicated to them.

But that person can hurt as much as they can love, as soon as they leave that bright light goes along with them. All you are left with is a hole in your heart that no one could fill. It's like a black hole, it sucks in everything and only leaves darkness. That's what Chuck did to Blair, what Blair did to Chuck.

Three weeks had passed, today was the day all the twins finally came home. Home was a different place for them all, Blair and Bass babies at the girl's apartment with Serena, Nate, Chuck and the twins at The Empire Hotel. Chuck being the _gentleman _he was offered to help settle the babies in the house, Blair accepted only because she was tired and didn't know how to look after three babies alone.

Chuck and Blair stood in the doorway of the apartment, it seemed wrong to be there. Chuck lifted Milo and Henry in their car seats, taking them to the ocean themed nursery. Blair lifted Bailey and followed behind him, the babies went to sleep as soon as they were put down. Leaving their parents in an awful silence.

" do you need any help?" Chuck quizzed, wanting to stay longer with the love of his life and children.

" There is a feed in an hour so I need some teabags. Could you boil the kettle please?" Blair rasped, the nervousness soaking her every word.

" teabags?" Chuck shrugged, unaware of why she needed them.

" It's been sore when I've been breastfeeding, they soothe the pain a bit." Blair explained, nervously biting her plump bottom lip. Chuck noticed this movement and his coffee coloured pants tightened.

" okay... um... I'll go do that," Chuck coughed, trying to shake the erotic thoughts he was having. Even if he was with Blair she couldn't have sex for another two weeks. God stop thinking about sex, it makes you want to have sex.

Blair sat in the living room, pulling out everything she would need for a feeding. The blanket she always had to comfort the babies, multiple burp cloths and Henry's specialised formula. Henry was diagnosed with a medical condition called Galactosemia, it's where a baby can't convert galactose into glucose. The build up could leave to something fatal so Henry has special dietary needs, starting with special formula.

Chuck walked in with a mug of hot water and two teabags. Silently she took them, placing the teabags in the mug for a few seconds before pulling them out. Chuck turned away when she pulled out her breasts, when he turned back he could only see the outer part of her breast. Blair's nipples were covered by the teabags and Chuck found it hilarious, he didn't laugh just took a picture so he could show his children in the future.

" hey! If you had two babies sucking on your nipple ten times a day, you wouldn't find it remotely funny." Blair said sternly but ended up laughing.

" Trust me," Chuck began. "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I can't wait to show the kids when they are older."

" you won't dare!" Blair snapped, a weak smile still on her pink lips.

" oh I dare," Chuck smirked, then the silence filled the room again. The only thing to be heard was the snores of the babies on the monitor. " This is going to be hard, right?"

Blair took in a deep breath, her brown eyes met his hazel. She held the gaze and he didn't dare to look away for a second. " I don't agree that we should be doing this but you said you wanted us to be apart. I'm just doing what you wanted."

" this isn't what I want, I want for me and you to be together without all the complications. The world doesn't work like that, there will always be serious complications. I was wrong to say I love you, you was my safe haven. The place where I used to run from my problems but i can't do that. I need to see and feel the world without the safety you bring. How am I suppose to love you when I haven't felt the world for what it is?" Chuck glared at her, making her feel things she had never felt before.

" I was being selfish holding you back. I'm not going to be selfish anymore. Go. Go to the world without me, leave me behind because I'm safe. I don't want to be the safe option for you, I want to dangerous and wild." Blair let out, along with a sigh she let him go. She needed closure and this was her getting the closure she needed.

" you will be the only option for me, no one else will ever compare to you." Chuck informed her.

" then why are you giving up on us?" Blair threw back snappily. Getting annoyed at him.

" I said all I needed to say three weeks ago, take that because you won't get anything else." Chuck snarled, getting annoyed himself.

" Why do you have to be such a dick sometimes? I seriously can't stand it when you act like this." Blair stated, her doe eyes rolling to the back of her head.

" you don't tell me how to act anymore, I'm a free man." Chuck spat, raising his arms and slumping them down on the sofa.

" I can tell you how to act when I share three children with you, you are not a free man. You have children that your actions will affect." Blair finally exploded after harbouring her emotions for the last few weeks. It hurt that he was just giving up on them when Blair just needed a break. Chuck didn't ever want to be together but she just needed some time to be Blair Waldorf not Chuck Bass' girlfriend.

" I done everything for those kids, my whole life revolves around them. I can't move without thinking about them. Bailey, Henry and Milo are the best things that ever happened to me and I would never hurt them." Chuck fumed, the accusation that he would hurt his children riled him up.

" if you keep acting like you are you will hurt them and your life doesn't revolve around them. I haven't slept in three weeks because I am up pumping and nursing throughout the day and night. They all cry around the clock and you just sleep through it. I'm living alone with three kids while you get them twice a week with the help of two other parents." Blair chastised, the lack of sleep of the past few weeks catching up with her. The doctors said with the hormones and the lack of sleep she would be moody but this wasn't moody, it was pure anger.

" I've done what I can, I'm a father what do you want me to do?" Chuck scoffed.

" take turns on night feeds, when they wake up you wake up and maybe not break their mother's heart over and over." Blair suggested with a sarcastic chuckle.

" Their mother should stop breaking my heart and then maybe I'll consider it but she seems very adamant to keep hurting me." Chuck snapped.

" I don't want to hurt you, you ended us. You were the one that caused your own pain. Don't blame me at all." Blair said, her body shaking with anger.

" you put us on hold, I'm not your second option. I don't wait around." Chuck exclaimed.

" I put us on hold because I have too much going on. It's all too much." Blair burst out crying, it was all to much for her. Raising one child without the father is hard enough but three children. All babies, two four week olds and a two month old.

" I want to help you but I can't be with you. I'm sorry that I can't be around all the time, I need my own space and time." Chuck comforted her, scooting over on the sofa next to her and pulling her in for a quick embrace.

" just go..." Blair rasped.

" okay..." and with that Chuck up and left leaving three awakening babies and a crying Blair. He truly didn't understand how much Blair did, he would never understand how much her life had changed for their children. He needed to understand.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_The next day _

Blair was sitting in her newly hired therapist's office, her head midwife had recommended her to talk to a professional. Having children was hard and it could become too much, they wanted to prevent Blair having postpartum depression. Blair wanted everything to be perfect when she had the babies so she immediately agreed to see a specialist.

Her therapist name was Amy Bella we Meadows, a highly recommended middle aged woman with streaks of grey hair and terrible taste. She seemed friendly and warm, Blair felt calm as soon as she stepped in Amy's office.

" Blair Cornelia Waldorf I assume. A mother of triplets, it's actually one of my first cases with three." Amy gushed, cooing over the sleeping babies.

" They actually aren't triplets. Milo Charles is technically my ex-boyfriend's son but I've been his present mother since the day he was born. Bailey Harriet and Henry Nathaniel are biologically my children." Blair explained, her situation was confusing but she loved all her children the same.

" well it is 2019, these sort of family things happen. You said about your ex? Is he of any importance to the way you are feeling?" Amy questioned, her note pad and pen balanced carefully on her crossed legs.

" he's recently permanently ended our relationship as partners and I don't know how I should feel. I haven't got any time to feel." Blair confessed, she was already crying.

" you need to feel, tell me about him." Amy told her, Blair's face lit up at the mention of Chuck.

" His name is Charles Bartholomew Bass, we met only about ten and a half months ago. We had a one night stand and that's where Henry and Bailey come in. He's smart and so very strong, emotionally strong. He doesn't like exercising, he's more of a business man. Chuck is handsome and such a gentleman. He makes me feel like a lady, he makes me feel beautiful." Blair described him, a smile on her red pouting lips.

" I can see you love him, why did it end?" Anne inquired, a thoughtful expression on her old face.

" I asked him to wait for me until I sorted out things with the kids, pretty much until I sorted myself out but he didn't want to wait. Chuck wanted to have a relationship and I just couldn't give it to him." Blair whispered the last part, finally realising why she couldn't be with him. " I'm depressed, I can't love when I feel like this. I'm worthless, I can't do anything right." Amy nodded, gesturing for Blair to continue. "I haven't slept, I feel sick like there's something fluttering in my stomach. Butterflies. I've always had those butterlifes but they are slowly dying. I can feel them dying. Anything happy in my life is dying and I'm left with only my amazing children. I'm so alone."

" you are not alone, you have those beautiful children. Those children have been sent to you for a reason and that reason is that you are a fantastic person who is also a fantastic mother." Amy assured her. Her job was to make Blair feel strong and whole without a man or medication in her life.

" but that's all I feel like, I'm only a mother. I haven't seen my parents in over a year, I haven't talked to my best friends in three weeks and the love of my life sends his mother to pick up the kids. I need to be more than a mommy." Blair whimpered, her feelings spilling out of her tiny body.

" You are more than a mother but right now you need to look after those children. When they are grown you will look back and say I've created these three amazing adults. You might have to put being your own person on hold for a bit but you are creating three new people." The therapist smiled. " I have two grown up daughters, when they were born I felt so alone and like a milking machine. They are 25 and 28 now, I created them. The people they are today are because of me. Their speech, their manners, their personalities are all because of me. When Henry, Milo and Bailey grow up you will know the same. Just give it time."

" I'm just not Blair Waldorf anymore," Blair cried, she licked her dry lips.

" you will always be Blair Waldorf," Amy said.

" then why don't I feel like her?" Blair quizzed with tears in her doe brown eyes.

" you have just given birth to twins, you have a son that's not biologically yours and a failing relationship with your children's father. It's understandable to feel sad, you can be sad. ' _The strength of a mother is second to none. Even when she is in times of stress, when she is fighting her own demons, when she is beyond exhausted both mentally and physically nothing will stop her from finding the strength she needs to do for her children what she needs to get done.' _You are fighting your own demons, you are exhausted. Your a new mother, feeling sad is normal." Anne recited a quote, Blair listened to it intently.

" I am Blair Waldorf, I'm always going to be Blair Waldorf but do I really want to be that girl anymore? That girl was conniving, cynical and extremely cruel, she took what she want and give nothing in return. I don't want to be that around my children." Blair spoke finding truth in her words.

" you can improve Blair Waldorf because I think your kids will love you for who you really are not what you pretend to be." Amy told her, Blair weakly smiled. " I think you need to cut out any hurt in your life and focus on you for a while. Chuck can wait for a while, be Blair before you become one with him."

" he is apart of me, he always will be. It's like cutting a bit of myself away, he is me and I am him. It's been like that since the first time we met, we've always been one person. We met and merged into one. He is the one." Blair smiled, thinking about the love of her life.

" it is going to feel like that for a while, it might always feel like that. Chuck isn't the best thing for you at the moment, be Blair." Anne demanded with a cheeky smirk.

" I'll try. It's actually been good to get all this tension and hate out. I'm a new person." Blair joked.

" if you keep coming to see me once a week, I think that in two months time I will see a different woman. A happier and joyful woman." Anne added, loving the lighter mood Blair had turned to.

" I would love to see that. I'll do it, anything for my kids." Blair avowed, her mood was happier. The dark cloud in the room had lifted, leaving a sunnier more positive vibe.

" you need to do this for you." Amy stated.

" I'm doing this for my family," Blair declared.

" do it for the world as long as I care. As long as you are happy then I've done my job." Amy joked, she and Blair broke into laughter.

The session continued for around 35 minutes more, it was chit chat mostly. The hard stuff had been said and cleared up at the start, all was left was baby talk. Obviously Blair loved the new conversation topic and pulled out each baby one by one to be held and viewed. The children looked stunning, still so tiny from being premature.

Blair knew what she needed to do, saying it was going to be the hardest thing but she had to do it. Chuck had the children tomorrow night, she would say it then and leave. He had think about what she was saying and Blair needed the time to think things through. When she picked up the children on Wednesday morning they could talk more. Finally saying what they had to say.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair had made sure that Lily was busy with Serena and Eric so that Chuck had to pick up the babies. At the correct time, 7:30pm he came and picked up the children. Chuck strode in with that confident mask he put on when he was scared. Blair could see straight through the charade, she knew him better than she knew herself.

The babies were already in their car seats ready to go, all dressed to match in sailor outfits. Chuck grinned when he looked at them, he bent down to tickle the babies cheeks. Blair had the diaper bag packed along with a bag filled with outfits for the next few days. This was the first time she was saying goodbye to her children, her huge aching heart was beating rapidly. The time to say goodbye was coming up and Blair dreaded it.

" I've packed Henry's formula in the diaper bag, I have pumped enough for tonight and for a few feedings tomorrow. I'll send my driver over with some more milk." Blair informed him, the anxiety building in her churning stomach.

" okay... what about that blanket you nurse with?" Chuck asked, trying to make the situation less awkward than it really was.

" already packed, it's in the blue bag. Remember to take out the stuffed animals from their cribs when they fall asleep." Blair reminded him, her hands were shaking with nerves.

" I will," Chuck coughed. " so... I'll see you Wednesday morning at 10:30am." Chuck began to leave but Blair grabbed his arm.

" we need to talk," Blair stuttered.

" about what?" Chuck quizzed.

" about us. It'll only take a minute or two. Just let me speak okay." Blair nodded her own head and Chuck imitated her. " I think you were right, I think it's about time we put a stop to this toxic thing we have going on. I've been talking with a therapist and she thinks I have postpartum depression. I need to let go of the things that are making it worse and one of those things is our relationship. We will not work, we have never worked so I'm letting you go. Now you need to let me go. I'm saying now that I'm allowing you to let me go. Please let me go."

" okay..." Chuck sighed, shaking his head.

" The way of letting you go for me was finally accepting that we were over for good, now I'm helping you to let me go." Blair said as she reached for her black dress pocket and pulled out the blue velvet box Chuck had given to her just a few weeks before. " take the ring. This is how you say goodbye to me. I'm sorry that I said yes at first but I was happy then. Me and you were happy then we had a children and my view on life changed. I couldn't be selfish anymore so now I'm letting you go."

" it was a gift, you should keep it." Chuck said, placing the smooth box back into her hands.

" it was your way of saying you wanted forever with me but our forever ended. It ended the day my forever changed, my forever is with my kids. Sometimes we need to get rid of the biggest things that are holding us back so we can take bigger steps forward." Blair gulped, giving the box back.

" we're done aren't we?" Chuck puzzled, hating the answer that he knew was coming.

" yes and no," Blair chuckled nervously. " we will always be connected by those little monsters but other than that we have nothing. You asked for nothing so I'm giving you nothing."

" We will always have something it's just fading, love fades." Chuck surmised, he rubbed his nose bridge.

" True love will never fade unless it was a lie, you can choose if you want to replenish it's source or let it die. You chose to let it die." Blair sighed, she grabbed his hand that was holding the box and butterfly kissed his knuckles. It was a goodbye.

" After all this time, we are done. It's weird saying or even feeling it." Chuck shook his brunette head, confusion filling every corner of it.

" but we have to." Blair asserted with a weakening smile. It was so fake and put on at this point that her soft cheeks were hurting.

" I know... we are parents now, the kids come first before anything else. This is anything else, we have to put them before us. I love you..." Chuck mumbled under his warm breath, he needed to say he loved her or things that needed to be said wouldn't be said.

" I can't say that to you, I'm sorry. If I say it then I would want to say it again and I can't feel like we aren't finished. This is my goodbye to you. Goodbye Charles." Blair waved her dainty hand, the smile finally leaving her blushing face.

" goodbye, Blair." Chuck whispered, loud enough so Blair could hear. A shiver went down her spine as she heard her name come from his lips.

Chuck picked up the car seats and placed them on the triple stroller, a single warm tear slipped down his red cheek. He wiped it away aggressively and left with the babies. Blair slumped onto the sofa, finally letting the tears fall.

The tears fell for hours more, they never stopped until Blair fell into a deep slumber. She didn't change from her clothes, didn't do her normal skincare or even brush her hair. Blair couldn't move, her heart was missing the sound of her children sleeping and yawning. The way Milo stayed up later than the others, she sung him _Somewhere over the rainbow _and he fell asleep slowly. His brown eyes fluttering to stay awake. She missed the way Henry shook his scratch mits off, about five times a night Blair had to go and put then back on. She missed the way Bailey fed for the longest at her night feed, Blair loved the way she had this way to connect with her daughter. Bailey always fell asleep on the breast.

Blair missed him. Chuck.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck flopped back on the long black sofa of the Empire Hotel penthouse, after a tough two hour struggle the babies finally fell asleep. Henry fussed, Bailey refused to feed and Milo wouldn't sleep without his usual lullaby. He was actually grateful, stopping meant that he had to think about the conversation he had with Blair.

It was the right thing but why did it feel so completey and utterly wrong? This was the end of something that barely had a beginning. This thing had never really started, it had to start because of the children and eventually turned into true and pure love. Now after only ten months he was saying goodbye to her, to the love that was shared between them.

A drink. He needed a drink, preferably a large cap of scotch. It numbed the pain that Blair used to numb. Blair was now the cause of that pain, the heart wrenching, soul breaking pain that kept on coming back. There was no cure, just a few ways to calm it down for a while.

After practically swigging from the bottle, Chuck was tipsy. He wasn't tipsy, he was totally drunk. Chuck grabbed his phone and dialled the number. The number that he shouldn't have called, not until he was sobered up.

The phone rung four times before a sleepy woman's voice picked up, _hello. _It was 2am, of course she would have been sleeping. It was her night of without the kids and she probably dropped straight off. He woke her up and felt so bad about it.

" Blair..." Chuck whispered into the phone.

_Chuck... what's wrong? Are the babies okay? _

" they are fine," He mumbled, staggering over to the bar. Grabbing another drink.

_What's wrong then? Are you okay? _

" no, I'm not okay. I need you..."

_Not now please, wait till the morning and when you are sobered up. You are drunk. _

" isn't it better if I'm drunk, I can finally say what I'm really feeling. I love you,"

_Please Chuck, we finished. We are finished. _

" I don't want us to end, Blair we are inevitable. We control this god damn world." He raised his tone before lowering it, hearing movement on the baby monitor.

_I know how you are feeling. That day at the hospital you told me you wanted to end if felt like I was going to die but I didn't. Be strong for me. _

" I can't..." Chuck began to cry. He normally acted like a tough strong man but right now he was breaking apart. " I need you..."

_And I need you to let me go. The bad things in a relationship don't just disappear after time. _

" then we can work on our relationship, don't give up on me yet." Chuck begged.

_We have tried a million times to fix what is broken but that's what we have, a broke unfixable love. I wouldn't change it for the world, we just can't be together because of it. _

" why? We can try, like really try. You said you had therapy, why can't we go to that couples therapy thing?" Chuck questioned, anything that would keep them together he would do.

_Would you hate me if I said no?_

" I could never hate you, I would want to know why though." Chuck stated, the tears drying up.

_You know why. It isn't fair to me or you if we start something that we can't finish without fire. I'm asking you now to end us without collateral damage. That damage being our children. _

" I love you..." Chuck rasped.

_I love you too... _

The line went silent, they hadn't hung up but just listened to the breathing of the other. It was the most they had communicated in weeks without arguing or shouting. The love they shared never ended so they couldn't end. How could you end something that is still and will always be in your heart?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_**You've changed me forever. And I'll never forget you." -**__**Kiera Cass**_

_**This is not a goodbye, my darling, **__**this is a thank you." -Nicholas Sparks **_

_**At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life." -**__** Unknown**_

_**"Even if we can't be together in the end, I'm glad that you were a part of my life." - Unknown**_

_**"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss**_


	14. Sisterly Love

It had been a whole week since that heart wrenching phone call, since their last goodbye. A full seven days since the end of something great, extremely toxic but absolutely great.

Blair purposely stayed out of Chuck's way, not wanting to see him. That would make it harder than it already was. Numb. She was feeling numb. Blair felt like she was on the outside looking in, screaming at herself to wake up and see what was really hurting her. All this pain was for nothing but she couldn't see it. She was betraying Chuck, betraying her children and even betraying herself.

Chuck desperately wanted to see his love, hold her for a short while. Whisper sweet nothings into her ears, cuddle her before bed, brush his large hands through her curly long dark locks. He wanted the goodbye first and now he had it he hated it. This wasn't what Chuck wanted, he only knew this now after weeks of heartbreak.

Serena had finally started feeling better after her c-section, the scar was still slightly sore but it didn't feel like she had a fully grown human being crawling out of her belly button. Nate's parental leave was over and it was time for him to return to work, this broke Serena's heart. She loved the time home with him, Lia and Nia. ( the nicknames they had started calling their children.) Now he had to go back, she was on her own raising two children and dealing with a normally drunk Chuck. When Chuck wasn't with his children, he was at a random Brooklyn bar.

Serena was in the kitchen warming up some breast milk for the children, Milo, Bailey and Henry were over for a few hours so Chuck could see them. Serena had reluctantly agreed to Blair that she would help him when the kids were over being the sister, best friend, best friends girlfriend and aunt.

" Tummy time is a life saver, Milo is loving that blue giraffe toy." Chuck sighed walking into the kitchen, a yawn escaping his lips.

" he can have it, I bought it when we thought we were having a boy but now we haven't there is no need. Lia and Nia have no interest." Serena explained, shaking two bottles and passing two bottles to Chuck to shake. " I need to talk to you and please don't get mad at me. I've told you a bit about what I was doing a few weeks ago but now I want to tell you what I have found."

" I could never get mad at you unless you got pregnant again by another random stranger, then we will have to have a talk about birth control and condoms." Chuck joked, trying to make a serious situation have a bit of laughter. He got what he wanted when Serena let out a weak chuckle.

" Don't worry it's not that. I've found our real birth certificates confirming we are twins, I'm not 26 by the way. I'm 27 like you and Nate, Blair is the youngest of us all." Serena said with a brief small smile that quickly changed into a serious one.

" what have you found?" Chuck puzzled, actually very curious about the situation.

" there was actually three of us. Me and you are twins from our mother and kind of our father, the other child was Bart and Evelyn's. It was conceived when they used our mother as a surrogate." Serena mumbled, awaiting her twin brothers upcoming answer.

" Where is it? Our triplet? Do you know where it is or is it completely off the grid? I can send my own PI team after it." Chuck offered, he was talking fast and handing out questions because he was scared. The idea of a whole family being out there when it had only been him is whole life was strange. Strange always seemed to scare him.

" She's not missing..." Serena informed him, her stomach churning over the news she had to tell him.

" it's a girl. Where is she then?" Chuck questioned, getting excited at the thought of another sister or even just another family member.

" Chuck she died." Serena croaked, his glaring hazel eyes burning a hole in her forehead.

" what of? When did she die?" Chuck wondered, he was holding back the tears in his eyes.

" she was still born, died during birth. She had a severe form of a disease called Chiari malformations, she didn't make it through the birthing canal." Serena told him, taking one of his hands. Squeezing it like a sister would.

" right..." Chuck coughed nervously, trying not to cry. " did she have a name?"

" Cassidy Luna Bass, it's a really beautiful name." Serena smiled, loving the idea of a sister. Two brothers was enough, a sister other than Blair would have been absolutely amazing.

" I know, how long have you known?" Chuck questioned, his hazel eyes glazed with tears. Serena could see the sadness in his eyes so she pulled him into a warm embrace.

" two days, I didn't know how to tell you. I know it's been hard with everything with Blair but you do need to wake up a bit. I'm your sister, twin sister so I can say this. Stop getting drunk, focus on your kids and when the time is right, Blair and you will make a perfect little home." Serena comforted him like a sister would but put him in his place like a sister would.

" it's just so hard being around her and not being around her. When I'm with her I just want to stay with her and when I'm away from her I just want to be with her. It's a vicious cycle." Chuck sighed, holding her hand a little closer. The feeling of warmth comforted him a tiny bit.

" it's going to be hard, it's love. Love never lets us let go without a tough fight." Serena consoled, trying to make her brother happy was one of the hardest things to do. Even worse than giving birth to twins via a surgery.

" I want her to be happy but she's not happy. I can hear it on the phone when we call about the kids, she won't even let me see her." Chuck sniffled.

" Blair won't let you see her because if she did she wouldn't want to let you go. It's hard. Raising three babies alone. She has no parents, no siblings, no everyday friends and no partner. You have me and Nate to help you but she doesn't." Serena confided, hoping that telling Chuck about Blair's troubles would make him understand her a bit more.

" it's bad, isn't it?" Chuck mumbled, Serena only gave a slow nod as a reply. " maybe we should do something for her, a small break away? Dinner? Friends meet up." He suggested, Serena gasped.

" two things. One, that is an amazing idea. We should all go out to dinner or something. Two, Blair will not leave those kids for two minutes definitely not a few hours." Serena counted on her fingers, eyes glistening with delight.

" I can have her father come over from France, his husband as well. They can look after the kids while we have a nice friendly dinner then the next day Blair can spend time with her father. Look I've sorted it." Chuck sorted it out in his head, feeling proud of himself.

" Lia and Nia have a check up on the Thursday so we can't do it then but we are free from there." Serena told him, being a parent and trying to figure out which day you are free is hard.

" the twins have a check up on Wednesday and Milo is being weighed and stuff then. Friday?" Chuck bargained, the itinerary circling around his head.

" deal." Serena shook his hand with a smile. " you will need to tell the doctors about a member of family having Chiari malformations, it can be passed down through family."

" I'll have a talk with the paediatrician on Wednesday, is it bad? I don't want my kids to be having something that will worry them their whole lives. Henry already has Galactosemia, he doesn't need anything else and I would never wish anything life threatening on my other children." Chuck clutched his hands together, the worry drifting through his mind.

" there can be mild forms, painful headaches and stuff but then there can be severe forms. Our sister had a severe case, other things that can happen are memory loss, vision problems and numbness in arms and legs." Serena explained, the worry finding a way to travel into her own mind.

" oh god, those tests are really going to be needed. They will all need them, my nieces and all three of my children. It's weird having such a big family," Chuck shuddered at the remembrance of his lonely days.

" get used to it. Me, Nate, Nia and Lia, Henry, Bailey, Milo and Blair will never leave you. We are your family and will always be your family. You were my family before I even knew about the blood relation, now the bond is stronger than ever." Serena smiled and hugged her brother. She could feel his strong arms soften in her embrace, he was a weak little boy at that moment needing some attention.

" I love you, Serena Van Der Woodson." Chuck stated with a huge smirk on his face.

" I love you too, Charles Bass." Serena giggled.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The next few days happened quick, it was the day of the Bass children check up appointment. Henry had decided to cry most of the night so Chuck looked like a complete nightmare and Henry was looking cute and sleepy in his car seat. Milo had found it funny to smile instead of sleep so that meant staying up more hours of the already long and tiring night. But Bailey was amazing, she definitely was daddy's little girl. She fed quickly, fell asleep quickly and only awoke three times throughout the entire night even though her brothers had decided screaming matches was best to do at midnight.

Blair and Chuck sat in the paediatrician office, waiting for the doctor to say something. Milo was on Blair's lap loving the attention of his mother, Bailey and Henry were asleep in their car seats. Finally the elderly bald man spoke up.

" Mr and Mrs Bass?" The old man guessed, not understanding that this was 2019 and not all parents were married or even together.

" no actually, I'm Miss Blair Waldorf." Blair lent her hand which the man shook with a warm smile.

" nice to meet you Miss Waldorf, I'm Neville Leon Waters. I'll be your children's doctor for the next few months, if there is any more need for an infant paediatrician I will continue to work with your children but we will have to examine them first." Neville smiled, his wrinkled hands gesturing towards the blue papered coloured bed. Blair lifted Milo while Chuck took the two car seats. " I'll have the eldest first, that must be this little one."

" yes, this is my son Milos Charles Bass." Chuck grinned at the thought of all the times he will have to introduce his son in the future.

" well Milos should we examine you?" Neville cooed at the smiling baby, it had been a new thing of Milo's. Smiling day in and day out. It was really cute and even Chuck said it to Serena once but never said cute ever again. " please strip him down to the diaper and place him on the bed please."

Blair did as she was told. After reading many, many parenting articles she had found that dressing your baby in simples clothes was best. The three babies were dressed in easy to unbutton onesies that said 'my daddy is a handsome devil.' Chuck always sent the kids home in these, making Blair smile every time she saw them. In retaliation she bought onesies saying ' My Mommy is a Queen,' Chuck found these extremely funny. Their mother was a queen and the world should know it.

" let's check his heartbeat." Neville spoke aloud everything he was doing, making Milo smile even more. The cold of the stethoscope made the baby whimper but when the doctor bounced up and down the smile returned. " his heartbeat is normal, he was weighed before you came in and that looks normal for his age group and length. Is there any concerns?"

" I have none, he's always a happy little boy with me. Maybe to happy." Chuck smirked at his little boy, recreating the toothless little smile.

" He is not lifting his head yet when he has tummy time. Is that normal?" Blair wondered, pulling out a notepad and pen from her diaper bag. Ready to take any notes that the doctor give her.

" Was he premature?" The doctor asked and the two adults nodded. " Milos might be a little slower but at this age there is nothing to worry about. If he doesn't even raise his head by four months then we might have a development problem. All is fine with him. Let's have Henry, all the boys first."

Chuck copied the actions that Blair had just done, undressing Henry while she redressed Milo. It was like they were in sync, they didn't even need to speak to eachother to know their next moves. It was like their minds were conncected and their hearts heated in a beautiful symphony.

" Henry Nathaniel Bass, a very classic name. I'm liking these names so far, normally I have modern names like Asher and Jayden. I prefer names like Henry and Nathaniel is a manly name." Neville told them, he had obviously had had his fair share of modern blown out of proportion names.

" Henry was in one of the classic Audrey Hepburn movies, Blair's favourite, and Nathaniel is my best friends name." Chuck chatted while the doctor examined Henry, nodding everything one of the tests went well.

" I've seen in his charts that Henry has a condition called Galactosemia, he has been gaining weight like normal. The formula must be working well." The doctors discussed the condition, Blair already had her answers prepared for every question.

" it is, he is feeding like an average child and I can see that he is no different to his siblings. I'm upset that I can't breastfeed but happy that my baby boy is okay." Blair added with a sweet smile.

" most mothers want to breastfeed their child but in this circumstance you can't and the formula is the next best thing. He is very healthy." Neville informed them, Blair and Chuck sighed. Two babies down, only one more to go. For the third and finally time they dressed the children up and down. Bailey was placed on the bed, a small wail left her perfect pink rounded cupid bow lips. The doctor looked fine when she had her heart checked, the normal check up was just that, normal. But when it reached the height and weight his face lost its light. " Bailey has barely gained any of her birth weight back, she's on track right now but it does concern me. I will need to keep a food diary with you, every time she eats right down for how long and if she is crying at the breast. It could be that she's feeding wrong, it could be the wrong position. It could be that Bailey is having problems latching and sucking but we won't know until you keep the diary."

" we'll keep it. I have the children Monday through till Wednesday and then in the day on Saturday, will this affect the diary?" Chuck quizzed, clearly concerned for his daughters well being.

" it will only affect the diary a small amount, just write down next to the feeds breast or bottle. When she feeds from a bottle, write down how much she is drinking." The doctor advised them, " is there any overall questions on your children's health?"

" it's not really a question but I had a sister that I've only recently found out about. That sister died at birth because she had a severe form of Chiari malformations, we heard that it may be hereditary from my other sister so I want some tests done to see if my children have it." Chuck answered him, Blair gasped when she heard. Chuck hadn't seen her to tell her about it so this was a big shock to her.

" we definitely will need to do some tests, bring them in in the next two weeks and we will test all of them. I will run other test aswell since the family history is vague and we want the children to be healthy and well." Neville smiled before leaving them alone. Chuck dressing Bailey back up in her daddy onesie.

" why didn't you tell me?" Blair whispered, her voice not coming out of her throat. It was stuck, the nerves had stuck it there. This was the first conversation since that phone call.

" I haven't had time, Serena only told me two days ago and I've been busy with the kids." Chuck conversed lightly, wanting to keep the mood light and happy for the children.

" okay. I'm sorry." Blair apologised for nothing.

" you have done nothing wrong, why the hell are you apologising to me of all people?" Chuck chuckled his signature chuckle.

" I know how much you wanted a family and now you have one and it's slowly falling apart. You had a sister and now you don't. I bet you would have loved her." Blair added, rubbing his arm while putting Henry in his car seat.

" I love her now, her name was Cassidy Luna. It's a really beautiful name." Chuck sighed, thinking of the life he could have had.

" it's a very pretty name, you had the sister you have always wanted and now she's not here. I bet you wish you had a normal life. Three kids with a stranger, a newly found twin sister, a new mother and a dead sister. Not very normal." Blair consoled, her dark brown doe eyes never leaving his hazel.

" if my life was normal then I wouldn't want it. I love my children, my mother, my sisters and I love that stranger with everything I am." Chuck smiled, breaking the eye contact to look at the tiled floor.

" I love that stranger too," Blair blushed as Chuck took her in for an embrace. " it'll all be alright, you will always have me and our children. I'm never going to leave you." Blair comforted him, then something that she thought would never happen happened. Chuck broke down in her arms, the tears pouring down his normally strong features. Blair held him, not knowing what to do but she knew she had to hold him. Blair had to be the strong one right now. Chuck needed support and that's what she was trying to give him.

" I just wanted a family. All my life that's all I've wanted and now I have one but I'm still alone. Serena loves me and I love her but we haven't always been like that. Eric is my half brother but he's always treated me like a full blood brother. Lily has had every chance to get to know me, I thought that as a mother she would feel something for me. I guess I was wrong." Chuck sobbed into her arms, squeezing her tighter. Feeling the warmth of her breath on his neck, that feeling was amazing.

" Serena is your sister, if she knew she was your sister years ago I bet she would have loved you from the beginning. Eric loves you, when I met him the other week he looked infatuated with you. Your his big brother. Lily loves you so much, I've seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. It's just difficult, knowing you have this son out there but you can't do anything with him. When Evelyn died a part of Lily died too. Evelyn was looking after you, she was your mother at that point and now the responsibility of three kids was passed onto Lily. She couldn't deal with Serena and Eric, how could she deal with you and a grief stricken Bart aswell? I will always be your family and you will always be mine. These children connect us for life and I quite like the fact that we can't leave eachother. You are mine and I am yours. Forever and ever." Blair began to cry, quietly and painfully so Chuck couldn't see her breaking too. She was meant to be strong but the one she loved was having a breakdown, it hurt her so much. He was the reason Blair was strong and he was standing here crying and breaking.

" I love you," Chuck cried.

" I love you too," Blair whispered into his ear.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The blonde duo sat in a quiet cafe on the edge of the Upper East Side, classy enough to be considered posh but quiet enough to be considered a cafe. The best place for the twins to be was in a calm cool environment, especially after the tests that had to be run on them a few hours ago.

Serena and Nate had recently taken them to their appointment where the doctor told them everything was fine but the tests had to be run. Watching your child go through anything, no matter how much you are told there is no pain, is the hardest thing a parent will have to do.

" that was awful, I really can't wait for the test results to come back so we can put this horrible chapter behind us." Serena said, shoving a bit of orange spicy chicken in her perfect pink mouth.

" hey, i know it was hard but we can get through anything that comes our way. We are Serena and Nate, Nate and Serena. Mother and Father, fiancé and fiancée, husband and wife." Nate smiled at her, making her feel things she had never felt before.

" you are a wonderful man, Mr Archibald. I hope one day Blair and Chuck will be as happy as us. They both deserve it, the triplets deserve it." Serena blushed, the man she loved in front of her confessing his love would do that to you.

" I think that we need to stop worrying about them so we can move on with us. I love them both but they are not our problem." Nate confessed, a slight twinge of guilt in his stomach.

" They are no problem. Chuck is my brother and has been one of my best friends for a while. Blair is my best friend and I couldn't live without her." Serena fumed, not liking what Nate had just said to her. The protective mother hormones taking over her normal bubbly personality.

" That's the problem. You should be able to live without her, you both have separate lives to live. Yours with me and the twins, hers with Chuck and the triplets. You have to stop depending on someone so undependable." Nate spoke, unaware of the anger burning in his fiancée soul.

" So your saying that I have to give up my life so I can be a wife and mommy?" Serena scoffed, taking what he had said the wrong way.

" I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that maybe your life shouldn't revolve around her problems and that you should focus on ours." Nate backtracked, seriously scared of this angry woman in front of him.

" She isn't a problem, Blair will never ever be a problem to me. She is my best friend, maybe you should stop depending on Chuck all your life. Every time something goes wrong he comes to you and you never give him the truth." Serena snapped.

" He's your brother!" Nate exclaimed, shocked that his girlfriend could be so emotionless.

" and Blair is my sister, I put my family before anything else. Blair is my family, she is the one that has gotten me out of all my shit these past few years. I wouldn't be who I am now without that amazing undependable woman." Serena imitated him before sipping her water aggressively.

" You need to build Serena Celia Archibald on your own, no one can help you this time." Nate snarled.

" I'm not Serena Celia Archibald without you so someone would be helping me. Serena Van Der Woodsen would be a messy toxic teenage girl without Blair Waldorf, she made me a strong independent woman." Serena said, shoving more of that delicious orange spicy chicken in her thin pink mouth.

" You need to do that on your own, build a life without all the past affecting it. I hate it when the past comes to haunt us!" Nate groused, a deep loud growling noise left his mouth.

" Chuck and Blair are not our past, they are our present and I hope and pray they will be our future. I want them in my life for the rest of it." Serena rolled her ocean blue eyes, more annoyed than anger now.

" I want them in it but more as a chapter than the whole book. Characters that come back and forth, never leaving us but not always being there." Nate explained but Serena wasn't having it.

" We have all been the main characters in eachothers books since that night we all properly met and now you want us to forget eachother. See each other on Thanksgiving and Christmas. No, I will be my own woman and see them when the hell i want to." Serena raised her voice and deepened her tone. It was a sort of husky growl.

" you can see whoever you want whenever you want." Nate said, rolling his own glassy blue eyes.

" thanks for the permission," Serena scoffed, hating every moment of their argument but wanting to get her point across. She was her own person, Blair was a part of her life and she didn't want to let her go. No matter how much they hurt eachother they would always be together.

" you are taking this the wrong way. I love you and I just want you to be happy. Blair won't make you happy when she's not happy herself." Nate calmed.

" Then I'll help her return to the happy Blair, she needs me right now." Serena lowered her voice, the anger leaving her body.

" You can't be a dog for her, following around after her." Nate said, Serena took it the wrong way again.

" but I can for you, I'm not a dog. I work hard for my family every day, raising two children practically alone. You work for hours of the day, when you come home you eat the dinner I have made then fall asleep on the sofa. I sit and watch TV alone, not talking to you for even a second, before I go clean and wash up dinner. I'm up for the kids all night then by the time I go to sleep you are going to work. I'm so lonely, I have nobody. Blair is the only thing making me feel like a human being, she is the only thing in this world that understands me. You will never understand the pressure of being a mother, I have to be perfect and happy for them even when I'm falling apart." Serena snapped, every emotion she had been feeling pouring out of her. Anything that needed to be said was being said.

" I didn't know you felt like this," Nate sympathised.

" and you never will," Serena rasped. " don't come home tonight or tomorrow, give me time." Serena stood from her seat, lifting her daughters into their stroller. She walked out of the cafe, Nate following behind her like a puppy. As she was about to get into her limo he spoke up.

" I love you," He called to her, waving his hand as a gesture of goodbye.

" goodbye Nate," Serena replied, breaking his heart as she did. Love was a hard thing to deal with.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Harold and Roman had arrived two hours ago, they were now standing in Chuck's apartment waiting for Blair to come pick up the children. They were going to surprise her, Chuck take her out for dinner then the next day have a fantastic time together. Serena and Nate had mysteriously pulled out of the dinner last minute which Chuck didn't mind. He craved some alone time with Blair.

The elevator dinged, alerting the three men of the women's presence. The high heels could be heard clicking on the marble floor, it stopped as soon as the feet hit the carpet of the living room. Any sound stopped, Blair must have seen her fathers and been excited, so excited she couldn't speak.

" what are you doing here?" Blair said through her clenched teeth, not an inch of a smile on her face.

" Blair - Bear I'm here to see you of course and my three amazing grandchildren." Harold said warmly as he opened his arms wide, Blair didn't run into them like she normally would.

" you've seen me now so go," Blair snapped, the men were shocked by her abrupt actions.

" Blair darling, what's the matter? Have we done any wrong?" Roman asked innocently, he was innocent but not in Blair's eyes.

" yes you have, my father left me alone and you stole my family, my entire world. You broke everything apart." Blair snarled.

" We have been through this my love, that was what? Ten years ago." Harold calmy spoke, Blair never calmed down.

" ten years ago I didn't have my children, now I do. I don't know how you could leave a child you claim to love so much." Blair sobbed.

" I do love you, I have loved you since you took your first breath, since the first scan. You are my baby girl, always have been always will be." Harold comforted the sobbing Blair.

" I'm not your baby girl anymore, I have my own baby girl and two baby boys who I love more than anything in this world. I would never leave them because I love them, did you ever love me? You left me." Blair blubbered, holding onto the sofa arm for support.

" of course I do, it's just I wasn't making you happy. Lying to you, your mother and myself was tearing our family apart." Harold tried to hold his grief stricken child but she would let him.

" you have done a good job of tearing my family apart, I want you to go. Not from this house but from New York." Blair confirmed, shaking her head to confirm even more.

" Blair..." Roman began but was cut off.

" don't you ever speak to me again," Blair spat at him, Chuck stepped in.

" Mr Waldorf, maybe you should leave for tonight. I will call you later to discuss." Chuck spoke up, trying to fix the extremely broken conversation. Harold and Roman nodded, grabbing their jackets to leave but Harold wanted to say one last thing.

" I love you, Blair-Bear." Harold assured her before walking out with his husband in tow.

" what was that?" Chuck scowled, embarrassed of the way Blair had acted. He wanted to make a good impression on his children's grandparents but she had truly ruined it.

" speaking my mind," she said bluntly, saying nothing more nothing less.

" I can see that, I thought you and your father were fine. What's wrong?" Chuck asked worriedly, seeing her cry was the worst thing in the world.

" I had my kids, I love them with every fibre of my being. I love them so much that when I even think of leaving them for a minute I want to be sick. They are my children and I was his. He didn't love me enough to stay." Blair wailed, not caring how she looked or sounded in that moment.

" He did love you, he does love you. I brought him to New York so you could spend some time with him." Chuck explained, trying to grab her hands but she pushed him away.

" You had no right, this is my messy past not yours to get involved in. Keep out your nose out of my personal stuff." Blair glared at him, she didn't hate him but hated when he tried to fix things. To fix her. She wasn't broken, she didn't need to be fixed.

" I did this to help you, you hide from your past and you shouldn't do that. You need to face your fears head on." Chuck swore, trying to make her feel anger not sadness. He couldn't bare to see anymore tears come from her beautiful brown eyes.

" that's coming from you. You barely looked at your mother and sister for weeks because you was scared. Don't you dare speak to me like that when you have the same problems." Blair demanded, her tiny finger stabbing his strong chest.

" I've faced my fears, now you should face yours. You can't hide your whole life." Chuck softened, his tone lowering with the glare in his hazel eyes.

" I'm going, you can have the kids tonight. Tell my father and that man to leave by the morning or they will never see me again." Blair said as she picked up her coat and bag, readying herself to leave.

" you are making a big mistake," Chuck told her.

" you've already made a big mistake," was the last words spoken by the brunette woman before she left the brunette man alone with all three children.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate didn't know where to go, he crashed at the office last night but he couldn't do that again without it being notice by colleagues. He hadn't heard anything from Serena and when he went to pick up a new suit for work, a very angry Chuck barged into the living room before leaving with the triplets in tow.

He decided that Blair's was probably the best option, when he walked in he saw a sight he'd never thought he'd see. Blair was very drunk dancing on a table to Britney Spears and Beyoncé.

" hey my pretty lady, what are you doing up there?" Nate called up to her, she looked down and he saw those signature brown honey pools.

" I'm dancing, having fun. Listening to my favourite playlist of girl power songs." Blair shouted over the loud music, swaying her body to the beat.

" I can see that, where's the booze?" Nate joked and she pointed him in the direction of a large ice box filled with any kind of alcohol you could imagine.

Two hours later, they were both very drunk and tired after dancing for the past few hours. They slouched down on the couch together, staring up at the blank ceiling. Thinking over the past few days.

" Serena hates me, I would hate me too. I was a complete dick." Nate scoffed, Blair whipped her head around towards him.

" what did you do? You bet have not hurt her or I will hurt you so bad you can't stand." Blair warned him, he just laughed as a response and Blair joined in with him, releasing a small chuckle. " Chuck hates me, I don't blame him. I acted like a compete and utter selfish childish bitch."

" what did you do? You bet have not hurt him or I will hurt you so bad you can't stand." Nate copied her and they both released another laugh. It felt normal like coming home when they were just alone together. Chuck and Serena were amazing and lovely to be around but it was nice to go into the past to revisit it.

" you'll never leave, right? Everybody leaves and I don't want to be alone. My mother and father have left me and I don't know how to feel about it. They are happy and in love while I'm here falling apart without them. Me and Chuck are finished and I think this is truly the end of it. Serena leaves all the time, where she goes through her bad stages she leaves me. Don't leave." Blair demanded, taking Nate's warm tanned hand. It didn't feel like Chuck's, Chuck's hand were cold and pale. Nate felt welcoming and homely while Chuck felt dangerous and wild.

" I will never leave you, I promise. Trust me?" Nate quizzed, the question reaching his inquisitive eyes.

" you are the only person I trust right now. You would never hurt me, you have never hurt me. It's my time to pick who I trust with my head and not my heart. My heads picking you." Blair confirmed, showing her toothy smile. The only time she allowed this smile to show was when her children were born and when she was extremely drunk.

" my heads picking you aswell." Nate informed her and without his body knowing he leaned in slowly. His lips took hers carefully, like their were the most delicate piece of porcelain. Blair didn't pull away, she didn't know why but she was stuck to him.

His hands reached for the zip on the side of her purple dress, Chuck's favourite dress on her. Nate slowly unzipped it, placing butterfly kisses on her neck. It felt sweet, exactly what she needed to introduce herself back into sex after having children.

What the hell were they doing? They loved other people, this was just drunk emotionless emotion filled sex. This was to make themselves feel better while getting back at the ones they truly loved. Why do this now?

_Your hands and feet are an intrinsic part of your body. One without the other doesn't make sense. A similar bond exists between brothers and sisters._

_One day you'll be alone and regret not being there. You'll regret the birthdays and holidays you missed. You'll regret not watching her grow up and being in her life you'll regret everything and by then it'll be too late. _


	15. The End of Something Big

That morning was awful, Nate had abruptly left in the middle of the night without a single word. Blair didn't blame him, it shouldn't have happened, not when they were completely in love with eachothers best friends.

She sat at the kitchen table wondering what the hell she was going to do. Would she call Chuck and Serena to tell them or would she lie to both of them? Blair didn't know what to do, each way someone got hurt, mostly their children. Sleeping with someone else was hard enough on the kids but sleeping with their auntie/uncle was even harder. It was mess the whole family up if anyone found out.

Her phone began to ring, probably her father calling to apologise again. She was shocked that when she picked it up to reject the call the caller ID read Chuck Bass. What was he calling her for? Scared that it was about the triplets she answered.

" Hey is everything okay?" She nervously bit her bottom lip, prettified of what the answer could be.

_Everything is amazing, guess who's smiling? No I can wait to tell you, it's Henry. _

" he's smiling, really? Oh my god, did you take a picture of it." Blair asked excitedly, two out of three babies smiling. She must be doing something right.

_Of course, already been sent to you. He's a handsome little smiler, looks excactly like his daddy. _

" he looks so so cute, he's such a big boy." Blair gushed as she looked down at the picture Chuck had sent. The babies had been doing tummy time and there was that sweet little smile. It was different to Milo's, more like social smile than a happy smile. Henry was a socialite before he was even a five months old.

_I can't believe we have two babies smiling, Baileys next. Hey, have you talked to Nate? He and Serena broke up a few days again and didn't tell anyone but they are back together now._

" Nate slept at mine last night, he did feel like a bit of a dick. How are you by the way?" Blair quizzed, trying to change the subject from Nate and Serena.

_I'm the best I can be. I have a dead sister, my children's two out of four grandfathers hate me and the woman I love is across New York. _

" They don't hate you, I'm the one they should hate. Do you know when they are leaving?" Blair said down the phone, loving hearing his voice.

_Tonight at 8:30pm, the limo is picking them up from the Empire and then their going straight to the airport. You should go see them off. _

" please don't start this argument again, I need some space from them so I can sort out my head. It was too much too fast and now I'm going through the grieving process of losing a parent." Blair explained, feeling a slight twinge of guilt in her churning stomach.

_I promise I won't get involved anymore, your past is your past and not mine to meddle with. Your future is the place where I want to meddle. _

" you are such a smooth talker, always trying to get into a girls pants." Blair snorted, finding herself extremely funny. Chuck laughed when she did, hearing her laugh when all she had done the last few weeks was cry was amazing.

_The only pants I want to get in are yours and I'm sure you will love it. First time having sex since the babies, you are probably raring to go. _

" hey! Don't say such things about my _amazing _body, it's a sacred thing." Blair laughed nervously, it wouldn't be the first time she had sex since the kids. She had sex with Nate on the sofa last night and felt extremely awful about it.

_The only thing sacred in our lives are the private coatroom of the Empire and my limo which by the way, I'm never going to get rid of. It's way to precious for the trash. _

" You are heinous, think about something other than sex for once in your life." Blair blushed at the thought of being with him again. It had been so long and she couldn't help but want the feeling of his warmth against her bare chest.

_I think about the kids but they were made from us having sex so I guess sex is pretty much all I think about. Don't act like you hate it._

" I hate it when you assume I want to have sex with you, maybe I don't." Blair pouted over the phone, Chuck couldn't see it but knew she was doing it.

_I'll make this a game then, if you truly don't want to have sex with me then don't come to the Empire State Building at 7:30 where I will be waiting for you. Come and we can be together, like together together. _

" Chuck Bass don't you dare give me a game that you know I'll win. I'm a lady, I don't _need _to sleep with anyone. I won't be there." Blair informed him, the butterflies creating a storm in her stomach.

_You say that now but you know you can't resist me, resist us. If you come today then we can be together, I'm ready. Are you?_

" I'll guess you'll see at 7:30pm." Blair said the last words before hanging up the phone, deciding if she would go there or would she stay at home.

The night before was ringing in her mind, it was completely wrong and felt wrong. Nate wasn't the one she wanted, she wanted Chuck. Her dark knight, the devil, the darkness that her life needs to have light. Nate was one of her best friends, one of her best friends fiancé. If she could reverse the clocks she would but that can't happen so sooner or later she will have to notice her problems. But what's so wrong about living a fantasy?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nate pulled up outside the Empire Hotel, staring up to the top of the building where the penthouse resided. He had come home hours before and made up with Serena, they were officially engaged again. He had to go out and get diapers for the babies, now he just sat there waiting for the right time. Seeing a happy Chuck stride up next to his black car and knock on the tinted window wasn't the right time but oh well.

" my man!" Nate called out to him, sliding the window down far enough to see Chuck's face.

" Nathaniel! Isn't it a jolly old day? Dropped the children off with Lily to take to Blair, it's a sunny Saturday morning. A drink my old friend?" Chuck bounced, clearly excited about something.

" a drink or two wouldn't hurt? We will have to continue this little chat in the penthouse. Lia and Nia need their diapers or Serena will kill me. Breastfed babies are the worst, cute when feeding the aftermath not so cute." Nate chuckled, the nervousness settling in his stomach. If he didn't slip up, no one would know and they would get away with it.

" I have two breastfed babies, I know." Chuck chatted, he was never this chatty unless something good happened to him. Like after that wild night, after he had proposed and Blair accepted, especially after his children were born. All three of them.

The two men entered the hotel, Chuck talked most of the brief conversation to the penthouse. Nate just nodded and let out a brief ' yeah' or 'umm.' A very bubbly Serena skipped into the living room when the bell dinged, planting a huge sloppy kiss on Nate's unexpecting lips. Chuck pulled a squirming face before heading to the bar to pour two scotches and a lemonade.

" Hello brother, what brings you here?" Serena quizzed with a huge grin on her sharp features, her blue eyes brightening her face.

" I own the hotel and I live here. This is where I sleep every night, eat everyday and drink hourly." Chuck said in a duh tone, Nate let out a snort which earned a tongue poked out by Serena. " why the happy mood sis? Did you and Nate have some fun last night? I heard reuniting is real fun."

" Nate wasn't here last night, he slept at a family members house." Serena informed him, slouching down on the sofa with her lemonade and cup of ice chips. She had a big obsession with them since she gave birth, they were a big life saver in labour.

" no, Blair told me he slept at hers." Chuck squinted his eyes, suspicions of his best friend and love.

" she's family, right?" Nate backtracked, knowing he had to talk to Blair to get their stories straight.

" I guess," Chuck sighed, unable to start a fight because of the excitement bursting out of his jumping body. " Me and Blair might be getting back together, I'll find out at 7:30pm."

" That's probably the strangest thing I've ever heard but okay. You and Blair are a strange couple, I've kind of gotten used to it by now." Serena giggled.

" At 7:30pm she turns up and then at 8:30pm we go and see her fathers off. I know how guilty Blair is feeling about her outburst, she can make it up to her fathers and herself tonight." Chuck clarified, he knew whatever they did was strange but that was Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck.

" I don't blame her for kicking off, imagine if we left our kids. We deserve it if our children didn't like us, he left her alone when she was going through the hardest time of her life." Nate chimed in, expressing his opinion to the group. They both nodded in agreement with him.

" Blair's bulimia was kicking off, she had just been rushed into hospital for the first time and her dad left. Harold should be glad she just needs time, if I knew my father and he did that... well... I would kill the bastard." Serena chided, pulling a face that matched her emotions.

" Harold didn't know what to do, he fell in love when going through this really difficult thing with his daughter. I completely disagree with him running but you can see why he run. It was all to much for him and Blair had to deal with the consequences of his actions." Chuck interrupted his sister, someone had to argue for the opposite side and as Harold might be his father in law soon he offered himself up.

" Yeah... I know it sounds awful but at one point I thought I would run like my mother did then I saw them. Nia is a gorgeous girl, blue eyes to match that amazing thick blonde hair. She's a funny girl, always finding something to chew on. That girl is always hungry even though I feed her a million times a day. Lia is sweet and calm, she is so much like Blair I could mistake her for Blair. If she wasn't blonde and had those ice blues eyes then they could be the same person." Serena smiled as she described her children, she loved them with everything she was and could ever be.

" Milo is like Blair even though she's not biologically his mother they are so similar. When he smiles, he lights up the room, any darkness leaves. He's bubbly and always proud of himself, he doesn't see the bad in someone just the good. Henry is a people person, everything he does is to get attention and praise. When we go home, he puts on his pout and falls asleep straight away. Bailey is beautiful, pale with that dark thick black hair. I never thought my jaw could look good on a girl but she proved me wrong." Chuck continued. " they are all so much like Blair that it scares me sometimes. It's like looking at her when I look at them, I love it. I love them, I love her."

" we have truly grown up from those people we were all those months back. We were practically kids in adults bodies, I feel like a woman now not just a teenage drunk. I have a two fantastic daughters, an amazing brother, a beautiful best friend and a kind loyal fiancé. I'm not that little girl who needed attention to live, I don't need drink or drugs, all I need is my family." Serena resounded, grasping one hand of each man sitting next to her. She squeezed them tightly with a huge smile on her face.

" We are family, connected by blood, love and a certain brunette." Chuck smirked. " seriously though, you are my sister and I love you. No matter how much shit we have thrown at us you will always be by my side and I will be by yours."

" Serena my love, you are my family. I still believe that even if we didn't meet that night we would have met anyway because we are meant to be together and the world knows it. The universe pushing us together give us two daughters and one hell of a love story." Nate grinned, feeling worse than ever about the night before wirh Blair.

" I love you," Serena whispered as she held back the warm salty tears.

" I love you too," Chuck copied, squeezing her hand one last time.

" I love you three," Nate finished. That wasn't going to be the only thing he finished that day.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair waited by the door, glaring up at the clock for it to hit 7:00 so she could get going to meet Chuck. After an insane amount of thought, she decided that this was the best for her little family, for them to be together as a official couple. The clock ticked, 6:55pm. She never noticed how slow time went until she had to watch it go by.

A buzzing sound came from her burgundy over night bag, Chuck's penthouse was going to be her destination for the night. She ignore the call but when the caller didn't stop she answered it, not reading the caller ID.

_Blair - bear, I'm calling to say my flight is leaving at 7:30. I wish you were here my little darling. _

" daddy..." Blair whispered into the speaker.

_Hello baby, how are you? I'm so very sorry about the last few years, I have completely ignored you. I love you. _

" I love you too daddy," Blair gulped, it was the only thing that could come from her mouth. It was the truth, she loved her father no matter how much he had hurt her over the years. He was her daddy.

_I'll see you soon my little darling, I hope you can forgive me and Roman. We both love you, he wants to say sorry for everything he has done. _

" it's okay daddy, I forgave him a long time ago. It's the motherly hormones going wild in me." Blair sobbed into the receiver, hoping he couldn't hear her tears from the other end.

_You are a mother. It sound so weird but I can tell from the way Charles describes you, that you are an amazing mother. Go find the boy, _

" I will, I love him daddy. He's my forever." Blair cried happy tears, this was one of the happiest moments of her life.

_Go get your forever baby girl and never look back. _

" goodbye daddy," Blair mumbled, saying goodbye to her father hurt her more than she thought. She wanted to see him before he left but now it was too late for that.

_Goodbye my little darling. _

Blair run to limo in the street and instead of staying The Empire State Building, she said JFK. There was no way her father could stop in the city and she doesn't see him. A quick phone call to Chuck would clear everything up and they could be together without the games. This was their chance.

The traffic was bad and so was the cell service, after twenty minutes of trying she finally managed to reach Chuck. The audio was breaking up and she could barely hear him but it was good enough.

Bla...ir wher...e ar..e y..ou?

" daddy's flight was earlier than expected, I'm going to see him off. Meet me there. I was coming to you.

_Li..ke I sa..id yo..u wou...ld. I'm on... m..y way. _

The line went dead, fuck that cell service. She knew she had to call Nate to clear things up so that was her next call. After multiple tries the phone finally ring, it was answered seconds later. She couldn't hear a voice but knew they could hear her. It was the same when she called Chuck.

" Nate, we need to talk. Actually let me talk. I love you so much but last night was a mistake, we can't tell anyone. If this gets out it will ruin everything we have built. Don't tell anyone for me, for you, for Chuck and Serena, for our children. I slept with you because I was drunk, you were drunk. It was fun and free, it wasn't how the last few weeks had been but it was one night of stupidity. I'm in love with Chuck, you are in love with Serena and we are going to be marrying them in maybe a year. I want my life to continue with Chuck and I don't want to see you unless it's absolutely necessary.

There was a few minutes pause, she could hear heavy breathing on the other side of the phone but thought it was just Nate thinking about what she had said. It was a lot to take in in such a short amount of time but it had to be done.

" my father is leaving New York, Chuck is on his way to the airport. It would mean the world to me if you and Serena could come, we are friends." Blair invited him as she pulled up outside the airport. Chuck's limo was already infront of the building, being Chuck Bass got you places and got you there very fast.

Blair jumped out of the limo and straight into Chuck's arms. Their lips met in a moment of passion and it felt like home. It wasn't to get to sex, it was to say 'honey I'm home.' Blair was home, Chuck was her home and would always be her home.

Hand in hand they run through the airport, taking their shoes, bags and belts off as they run. The flight was due to take off in minutes, they didn't think they made it when they couldn't see the two older men. Then Roman and Harold walked out of the bathroom, they both looked extremely sad. Blair had really hurt them.

" daddy!" Blair called from the airport, everyone turned and looked but she didn't care. She was here for her father and she needed to see him.

" Blair - Bear, what are you doing here?" Harold exclaimed, his features immediately lightening.

" We came to say goodbye, I couldn't just let you go without a classic Hollywood goodbye." Blair beamed, a nervous Roman walked up next to his husband and said nothing. " Roman, I don't blame you for anything, you followed your heart. I may not believe about leaving your children but I do believe in following true love. I can't stand in the way of that, don't ever stop loving my father because of my selfish childish ways."

" Blair, I am at a great fault. I broke your family apart when I followed my heart." Roman looked down to the floor with sad broken eyes.

" you built my family. My mother is the happiest I've seen her in years with my new step father, daddy is in love and I can see it in his eyes. I gained three fathers because of you. 1. Cyrus, the most joyful amazing man alive. 2. You, you are as much my father as Cyrus. 3. My father, he wasn't happy. He was pretending to be happy and I couldn't make a father out of that emotionless man. You built my family the biggest it's ever been, I am forever indebted to you." Blair expressed her joy, finally letting herself feel happy around Roman. He was meant to be that mean cruel man who broke her family but he really was a caring kind man who was the glue that fixed the cracks in her family.

" Blair, I love you as my daughter." Roman admitted with a small pink blush to his olive cheeks.

" and I love you like a father," Blair revealed.

" My little darling, you have grown into that mature thoughtful woman I worked so hard to create. I am truly proud of you, always follow your heart." Harold said, pulling her into a warm cosy embrace. He smelt like he always had, peppermint and fruity aged wine.

" I have daddy, that's why I'm with this wonderful man, Charles Bartholomew Bass." Blair properly introduced her boyfriend and baby daddy to her own father.

" it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Waldorf." Chuck lent out a hand and both Mr Waldorfs shook it.

" Harold please," Harold welcomed him into the family by that simple sentence. " We must get going, you must visit with or without the children. Paris is a very romantic place" Roman and Harold grabbed their carry on bags, waving their hands to say goodbye. Blair's tears finally left her eyes as she waved them off. Chuck snaked his arms around her waist, placing small kisses on her neck in support.

" Blair!" They heard a voice call, when they turned they saw a very angry female blonde walking up to them. " why the fuck did you do that? I'm your best friend, why the hell did you do that to _me_?"

" S, I don't know what you mean." Blair tried to act innocent but the act was up. Serena knew.

" don't play dumb with me, I heard you on the phone. Nate didn't answer, it was me!" Serena yelled, her hands clenching in anger.

" Serena!" Nate panted as he ran to them, he must have been running for a while by the sound of it.

" stay out of it, you are nothing to me." Serena snapped, feeling like an in powered woman. Letting go of the bad bits in her life to focus on the good.

" what's happened? I have no idea what is going on so someone fill me in." Chuck requested, completely oblivious to the situation at hand.

" are you going to tell him or am I?" Serena asked with broken eyes, the love of her life cheated on her with her best friend.

" tell me what?" Chuck questioned the trio around him, eager to know more.

" I slept with Nate last night," Blair blurted out, Chuck gasped and cringed at the same time. " I'm sorry, it meant absolutely nothing to me. We were both really drunk and out of it."

" but you were in it enough to sleep with him. That's my fucking best friend Blair, my sisters fiancé. How could you do this to me?" Chuck scowled, hiding the pain he was feeling with a shield of anger.

" I know it was wrong, It was a in the moment stupid decision. I'm so sorry," Blair whimpered, ruffling a small hand through her curly dark locks.

" do you think that that's going to make it better? I loved him, Blair. He was mine, you had everything but Nate, now you have him as well." Serena scoffed, no emotion coming out of her. She was a blank slate, her normally bright blue eyes looked empty, dead.

" I'm not hers, I'm yours. I'm always going to be yours." Nate begged, trying to find the Serena he knew but she was gone. This woman wasn't his Serena.

" You dick, I loved Blair. Why the fuck did you sleep with her?" Chuck snarled, lifting a clenched and throwing it full force into Nate's face.

The fight increased, both men threw punches back and forth. Blood was smeared over the marble floor of the airport, the security was running up to them. Chuck and Nate stopped when they saw the guards going to arrest Blair and Serena. The security left when the men stopped, this was the final time for the former friends to talk. Say the last words.

" I'm done, I can't go on." Serena mumbled, she was loud enough they all heard her. They could finally hear some emotion in her voice, all hearts wrenched as tears trickled down the blonde's face.

" I'm done too, we have to let eachother go." Chuck followed her lead, they all nodded in agreement.

" this is the end," Nate shook his head, something huge was ending and it felt strangely right.

" This the end of everything," Blair confirmed.

The airport was empty, not a single sound could be heard. All four parents stood in a circle exchanging glances every few seconds, agreeing that it was time for this chapter of their life to end. The white marble of the floor made them cold, colder than they already felt. Life was cold, they all felt cold inside. The end was cold.

_One Mississippi, you're here_

_Lovin' me with your whole heart_

_And two Mississippi, we scream_

_To watch each other fall apart_

_Three Mississippi, you're gone_

_Sayin' that you're done, you don't want it no more_

_And four Mississippi, you're home_

_Like nothin' ever happened at all_

_Why do I stay?_

_I know I should leave_

_Mascara fallin' down my cheek_

_But you pull me in and make me forget_

_About the broken glass on our skin_

_We don't get scared when the sirens come_

_A little fucked up 'cause we think it's fun_

_We kiss just to make up, we love just to break up_

_We head for disaster, but live for the danger_

_We count_

_One Mississippi, you're here_

_Lovin' me with your whole heart_

_And two Mississippi, we scream_

_To watch each other fall apart_

_Three Mississippi, you're gone_

_Sayin' that you're done, you don't want it no more_

_And four Mississippi, you're home_

_Like nothin' ever happened at all_

_\- _

_Zara Larsson_

XOXOXOXOXOXO

**_And we made it, the last chapter of the story. It may not be the best ending but it's always about the dramatics when it comes to Gossip Girl. Hope you enjoyed! Review as always and dont worry I don't bite. xoxo_**


	16. NewStory

When your full loving heart finally gives in to the heartbreak you think your story's last chapter has ended but this story doesn't end, there is always another chapter filled with drama. Too much has been said, too much has been done. How can you have an end come to something that has barely had a beginning? The answer is you can't, it can't come to an end.

If it hasn't come to an end then where the hell is Chuck? He up and left after the one night stand came out and hasn't been seen or heard from since that awful day. Serena hasn't even heard from her brother, at first she thought it was him running away from his problems again but he hadn't come back at all. He was truly gone, leaving Serena, Nate, Blair and his children behind. It's been ten months, a whole ten months of complete and utter silence from him.

Serena raised her children alone, pushing Nate futher and futher out of her perfectly painted picture in her head. They hadn't seen eachother, Nate only had the children when he could fit it in his schedule. He had been working for hours on end trying to forget the world, trying to forget what he had done to break his world apart. He missed his children but when he looked at them, all he saw was Serena. Her long wavy golden blonde hair with her bright ocean blue eyes. Nate missed her with everything he was but knew staying away was the best option right now, it was all a mess.

Not knowing about the lives of eachother scared each and every one of them, scaring every minuscule cell of their terrified bodies. Blair and Serena were best friends but now they had nothing, they were strangers to each other. Anything they had was gone, the only bond they shared was Chuck and they didn't know where he was. Serena and Nate were to be married, they were going to be eachothers forever but that all came crashing to a painful end.

Blair didn't do anything but raise her children, hating that Chuck was missing but she had no right to do anything to find him. She was the reason he had run and felt terrible about it. Her children were her main concern, Milo, Bailey and Henry were the only thing she cared about. Serena had completely cut her out of her life, Nate hadn't talked to her in months. The terrible four are broken up, they were over forever.

It had been almost two years since they had met, eight months pregnant and the first few months of their lives. Chuck had been there for all of it and now he was gone, leaving his whole family behind. It felt like a lifetime ago they all met, technically it was a whole lifetime. The children's lifetime. The biggest most publicised people of the Upper East Side had called it quits. The great Bart Bass' son was to marry fashion designer Eleanor Waldorf's daughter who had three children together. It was the biggest thing of the century except convicted fraud Howard Archibald's son marrying Bart Bass' widow, Lily Van Der Woodsen.

Everything had stopped on the Upper East side, no one was functioning properly. Blair hadn't left her home, she was normally the fashion icon of the year but they hadn't seen her in almost a year. Serena was normally partying and having fun but when she had been seen, she had always been with Nia and Lia. Nate was a small playboy, it was a legend if you had sex with him. The small amount of people that had slept with him told their story and it had become a sort of legend. Nate hadn't gone out in months, hadn't been with anyone in months, he hadn't even drunk in months. He was a new man that focused solely on his work, he was the new Bart Bass.

The silence of eachother had scared each and every fibre of their bodies. They all normally lived together, saw eachother everyday, talked every minute. They were eachothers children's aunts and uncles, biologically as well. Now they didn't even mean a tiny bit to eachother, well they meant everything to eachother but they wouldn't dare say it out loud.

One day, excactly ten months later, a beautifully enveloped letter came through the post to all three adults. It was a soft purple with engraved paper white flowers on the side, their names perfectly handwritten onto the front. This letter made them all extremely curious, slowly they all opened the envelope dainty letter.

_Dear family and/or friends, _

_You are formally invited to the winter wedding of Miss Holly Bethany Lindsor and Mr Henry Leon Newton. _

_On the 15th of February 2pm. _

_Sincerely, _

_ The Lindsors and Mr Newton. _

The invitation confused them all, when they were about to return the letter to its envelope they noticed another piece of paper in the envelope. It was light, like it was meant to go unnoticed to the eye. It was meant to be a carefully hid secret, it read:

_Hello,_

_I'm Miss Holly Lindsor, Mr Henry Newton's fiancée. I know who he is and I just thought you would want to know. My fiancé is Charles Bartholomew Bass, we have been engaged for the past few months and the wedding is next week. I hope you can attend the ceremony and reception, I am also inviting you to stay at our home for a week so we can discuss what I know and you don't. I'm in love with Mr Bass and he loves me. I'll explain everything when you come. _

_Holly Bethany Lindsor_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don't really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren't really an ending; some things are never-__ending__.__ \- _

_C. JoyBell C._

XOXOXOXOXOXO

**_A/N- I couldn't just leave you like that, I just needed the inspiration of a new story but still using the same storyline. Read and review!!!_**


	17. Past Present and Future

Hey! Leave a review to say if you want this to continue as One More Time or as Never-ending

Have fun reading!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

A wedding. The occasion that connects two people by name, law and family. The flowers, the dress, the over the top expensive cakes with way too many expensive edible flowers. The room filled with family and friends congratulating and hugging you until you can't breath. The first dance, the honeymoon, the first time making love when you are married. It's all so special and you have to have it all to make a perfect Upper East Sider wedding.

The first Upper East Side wedding the four had gone to together without knowing it was Lily Van Der Woodsen's wedding to Bart Bass. Serena was a bridesmaid like she was at every other wedding of her mother's but this time she was more of the maid of honour. Chuck was the best man for his father which came as a huge surprise for him since his father always acted like he hated his presence on the earth. Nate had been Chuck's best friend for years so he was obviously in the crowd watching his friend smile like he had never before. Chuck was always so sad and gloomy but on his parents wedding day he looked so... free. Blair's mother had designed all the dresses for the wedding including the famous white wedding dress but Eleanor was tied up in meetings on the day of the actual occasion. Blair took her place, watching the wedding. She never knew who Chuck Bass was, she didn't even spare him a glance focusing all her attention on the bride.

In a week Chuck was to be married under the name of Henry Newton. There was always meant to be a wedding for Chuck, just marrying Blair instead of this Holly Bethany Lindsor. Holly knew who Chuck was, she knew about his family, his home and children but still kept him away from them. Yes, she invited them to the wedding but that's the point, there shouldn't be a wedding. Not when things were left so abruptly and harsh between all the friends, between him and Blair.

The letter personally from Holly said they were invited for a week, a week before the wedding which meant they had to leave by tomorrow. Babysitters for a week, Serena and Blair didn't want to leave their children with complete strangers. After a long hard think that lasted around three minutes, they came to the conclusion Lily was their best option.

That's where they were on their way now, drop the children off there this morning and then be on their way to Chuck by the early night. The limos pulled up outside, Serena got out of her's first and made her way up to her mother's penthouse, unaware of Blair's upcoming presence. Nate had decided to pick up a suit of Chuck's, he had no idea where Chuck was and what the hell he was wearing. A purple suit might entice him to talk for five minutes to his former best friends.

" Mom! I need your help." Serena yelled as she struggled pushing the double stroller out of the elevator, stopping in her tracks when seeing Nate.

" hey..." Nate began. " Lily went to get a few of Chuck's suits for me, she will be back in a few minutes."

" okay... why do you need Chuck's suits? You have no right touching my brothers stuff without his concent which I doubt he would give to you." Serena snapped, her body shaking as she leaned onto the stroller for support. Seeing him for the first time in around nine months was harder than she ever thought, he was still as handsome as the last time she saw him.

" I'm going to see him, I know where he is and thought he might want some of his old stuff. Being Chuck and all." Nate explained, kneeling down to coo at his daughters. They had grown so much since the last time he had saw them which was around 2 months ago.

" I'm going to see him too, did you get an invitation too? Of course you do, he was your best friend until you ruined it." Serena sighed. Slouching down on the sofa, pulling Lia out of her bright pink car seat. "you know Nia said her first word last week? I tried to call you twice the other day but you didn't answer so I couldn't tell you."

" I'm sorry, I've been busy in work. What did she say?" Nate quizzed solemnly, the feeling of guilt, hate and anger rushing through his bulging veins.

" Mama, it was really cute. I've been trying for one of them to say Dada, I show them pictures of you and point to them. It's not the same as you really being there, it hasn't really worked as you can probably see." Serena blushed, being close to him sent shivers through her body. Seeing him hold Nia and mumble how proud he was of her, made her feel the sense of home. But this wasn't her home, it was her home once then everything fell apart.

" I'll try and be around more. I am their father, I'm sorry that I haven't been around." Nate apologised, looking straight into her glassy blue eyes.

" we can work on Lia saying it," Serena nodded, trying to keep things civil but couldn't. " you can see them on Sundays to Monday, you don't get to see me anymore. We aren't anything but you are those kids father."

" I'm here for my kids and nothing else. I love you and I did wrong by you, I'm dealing with the consequences." Nate confirmed, leading to a painful soundless silence.

" Lily! I need your help!" A females voice screamed, both blondes turned to see a certain brunette. Blair was striding in with the triplets in tow, the triple stroller being pushed by the petite woman. " hey, have you seen Lily? I need her to look after the children for about a week, depends if I stay that long."

" you got a letter as well?" Serena scoffed, reality hit her that this was her best friend once and she hated seeing woman now. They did everything together, talked together and now Serena couldn't stand being in the same room as her. Blair replied with a small assertive nod. " what are we going to do? We can't let Chuck get married especially under a different name."

" That's why I'm going, to see if I can stop this. Stop everything that has happened the last few months. I need my best friend back." Nate professed to the women, the both just started at him for a moment or two. Unaware of how to react.

" You had a best friend Nate, we all lost him and I don't think he'll ever forgive us. That doesn't mean we won't stop fighting for him to come home, to his family. I might not be apart of that family, I may not be apart of the future but he is always going to be apart of my family and my future." Blair held in the tears, swallowing to stop herself from crying.

" You both did this to yourself, you hurt me and my brother so much. My heart is not prepared for another hit off you two, I'm getting my brother back and never seeing you two again. B, you were my best friend and you did something unforgettable so I will never be able to forgive you." Serena informed them, unable to keep in all the pain they had caused her.

" I'm sorry, S, you will always be my best friend even if I'm not yours. 'Just because we don't talk any more, doesn't mean that I've forgotten about you. It doesn't mean that I no longer care. Truth is, I still do. I do my best to check up on you, to see how you're doing. To see if you're okay, but every time I get the urge to talk to you, it suddenly hits me that we're strangers. You don't want me in your life, hence the reason why I'm no longer a part of you. But, even though everything's changed; I just want you to know that I'm still here. I'll still be here for you. I'll still lend you my shoulders and my ears. I don't care what time it is, what I'm doing. Don't hesitate for talk to me because, half the time, I wish that you were talking to me. I just really miss your presence. I miss you being my best friend. I just miss you in general_.' _You were my best friend and now we are complete strangers living complete different serperate lives without eachother." Blair commented, the separation anxiety hitting her. Serena had been apart of her life for years and now everything was coming to an end. Saying goodbye to a good friend is harder than saying goodbye to a bad friend.

" 'The most harrowing thing about betrayal is the fact that it will never come from your enemies but comes from your friends.' _" _Serena breathed heavily through her slightly open lips. " You were my best friend, you were meant to be the one who slagged off the slut who cheated with my boyfriend but you were the slut."

" it wasn't like that. I was drunk after everything with Chuck and my father, me and Nate got drunk together. I thought you were finished, I never would have done it if you were together. I know it's wrong doing it after only breaking up for a few hours but it's not as bad as being together at that point. I never wanted to hurt you." Blair told her that nights events, her own words stinging her mind.

" Nate told you we weren't together, we never ended. We were really together, two kids and getting married. He lied to you." Serena stared at her in disbelief, she and Nate never ended.

" I didn't think we were together, it sounded like we had ended. I only realised later that we were together but it's too late." Nate joined in, explaining himself to the furious women in front of him.

" but we weren't over. This whole mess was a big misunderstanding, this is all my fault. If I just told you we weren't over that night then you wouldn't have slept together and I'll be free of this painful pain" Serena exclaimed, shocking Blair and Nate into the point of each grabbing one of her shaking warm sun kissed hands.

" it's not your fault, it will never be your fault. Nate and I made a stupid mistake that shouldn't have been made." Blair consoled her, it was their fault and they knew it. They made the choice to sleep together and hurt so many people.

" well! I do love to see all my favourite people in one room except for Chuck but he's gone AWOL again. My beautiful grandchildren too." Lily gushed as she walked down the stair case, calling to her personally picked and biological children.

" yes, well we need your help for the next week. I have Milo's first birthday coming up and I'm out of town for the a week which comes to my question, will you look after the triplets?" Blair asked, clapping her hands together with a big jolly smile plastered on her soft features.

" all three. For seven days. On my own. Three babies." Lily's eyes opened wide as if to say ' ha ha are you kidding me? Three babies on my own for a whole week.'

" there's a slight alteration to the plan, there is actually going to be five babies." Serena added with ' this isn't going to work' face.

" five babies on my own, darling I don't think I can do that. I'm a grandma, I'm getting on a bit now. That's five babies one old woman." Lily said, rubbing her temples with the stress off the though of even looking after five babies alone.

" it can be for two days, I can take the children to my father and his husband for the rest of the week. I've talked to them and that's the only time they can do it. So?" Blair egged on, her tiny feet tapping the floor in excitement and nervousness.

" okay," Lily give in. " but I want to know everything and anything that could go wrong. I will not be blamed if one of them has an allergic reaction to milk or something."

" Henry has a specialised formula, Milo and Bailey drink normal formula. Milo is kind of walking, he took like two steps the other day but it's not really walking. More like holding onto things for support and pushing himself off them. Make sure there is a carpet when he has tummy time because he will crawl off and hurt himself." Blair demanded with her motherly face on, it scared everyone but made them think what a good mother she was. " don't forget to sing _somewhere over the rainbow _to them or they will not go to sleep."

" check, check and check. What about my perfect little granddaughters?" Lily cooed, completely forgetting the existence of Bailey and the adults in the room.

" you remember Bailey as well, she is always your granddaughter. Nia is a babbler, she will talk your ear off with complete gibberish. She's a naughty one so remember right and wrong with her, shaking your head and pointing a finger usually does it. Lia on the other hand is a complete angel, she's very clingy so hugs and kisses are the best thing for her but don't give her many before bed or she will not go off." Serena informed her, thinking about the tiring routine of bedtime every night. Having a week away will leave her coming back refreshed and ready to face parenting head on.

" Are Harold and Roman picking up the children or am I taking them there?" Lily quizzed, the next two days were going to be hell and to be honest she couldn't wait to get the babies out of her hair.

" Daddy is coming over here in two days to sell his shares of his law firm then he will take them over to France until we come back. I can go pick them up over there or Nate and Serena can come. I will have an extra pair of hands either way, it's easier with mommy and daddy not a nanny." Blair explained to her, the relief of being on good terms with her father rushed to her mouth. Her lips curled into a small smile, it was as if she was a little girl who's father called her his baby girl.

" That's great! You lot get going soon so I can see my little grand babies. Milo is turning one in two weeks, I've never been more excited for a birthday that aged me." Lily cackled, picking up the colourful rainbow playmat that she always kept in the living room for when her grandchildren and children came over to visit.

" goodbye mom," Serena shouted, kissing her baby girls goodbye and pressing the elevator button.

" Goobye Lily," Blair waved her hand at the babies, they all waved a small hand back.

" Goodbye Mrs Van Der Woodsen," Nate nodded his head formally, addressing her in the wrong way for a sort of mother in law.

" call me Lily darling," Lily corrected. " goodbye, have fun with whatever you are doing." She waved her hand as the elevator closed its doors, taking her children away. Leaving her with five very hungry grandchildren. _Oh god, _she thought.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

The car ride was hell, they all decided to take separate cars for the long five hour journey. It would be way too awkward for all of them to sit in a tiny confined space called a limo. Nate left before anyone else, thinking that arriving early and seeing Chuck first would make it easier on himself.

Serena was worried about Nate. The man she loved was stuck in the office doing work for hours and hours of the day. She saw it happen to Chuck, he was a different person when he was in and out of the office. After Serena had talked to him about calming down the work, he seemed like a completely different man.

She unresponsively picked up her phone, dialling a number she never expected to dial ever again. The phone rang and rang, no one answered. Trying one last time Serena was successful, Blair answered the phone with a simple greeting. Hello.

" Hi." Serena responded shyly, unaware of how to talk to her former best friend.

" hey," Blair replied, shocked that her best friend called her after ten months of not speaking.

" B..." Serena called her by her nickname they made after knowing eachother for only two weeks. It was love at first sight. " I'm worried about Nate, he's turning into Bart Bass."

" I've never met the famous Bart Bass and I never will. I have heard that he was a bit of a dick who was a workaholic and cared for no one but himself, even his son." Blair coughed, the awkward conversation becoming even more awkward when mentioning Chuck.

" Yeah, you pretty much summed him up in one sentence. Nate is a workaholic who hasn't seen his children properly for two months. I'm getting worried about him." Serena confided in Blair, a weight immediately being lifted of her heavy chest.

" I've seen it with Chuck, when things get hard men bury themselves in work." Blair sighed hard.

" all men?" Serena quizzed with raised eyebrows. She had dated her fair share of men and none had been as invested in his work as Nate was.

" only the men we like." Blair giggled lightly, it felt good to talk to her best friend with no stress. No babies involved, no cheating and no accidental backstabbing. They were two girls talking about the boys they liked on a phone call. " talk to him. He's feeling guilty and stressed, things are getting hard for him so he puts himself in more work which leads to further stress. A vicious cycle goes on from there."

" I don't know if I can talk to him like the old days, I didn't think I could do it with you but here we are having a full blown conversation." Serena chuckled nervously.

" it's going to be hard, it's hard being on the other end of the conversation but you have to do it for your sake and your children's sake." Blair reminded her, building up her confidence with the teeniest tiniest bit of innocent blackmail.

" thank you," Serena rasped into the phone.

" never thank me, it's my fault you are in this mess in the first place." Blair said, reminding Serena of something she wanted to say to her.

" I promised myself I would never lose my best friend because of a boy. Don't get me wrong you hurt be fucking badly but I'm not losing my best friend for a boy. Our friendship is never going to be the same again but that doesn't mean we can't try it again. Let's sort out this wedding with Chuck and then we can talk about us." Serena chatted, getting everything out. Leaving no secret behind was the best place for a friendship to start or continue.

" I love you, S." Blair held back the tears. Good thing there were on the phone or Serena would be able to see her having a meltdown in the car.

" I love you, B."

XOXOXOXOXOXO

It was 4:30pm. They had all arrived at the large mansion like summer residents. Everything for a wedding was out, rows of seats in the back garden even though the wedding wasn't for another week. The white wooden front door was larger than two men standing on top of eachother, Serena's tiny hang raised and knocked it.

A small olive skinned women opened the door. She had black beach waved shoulder length hair, bright blue eyes that were more of a white glared at the people in front of her. She had to be about 5"2, weighing about 110lb. Her tiny nose flared at them, she closed the door before returning with a sweet child like smile.

" Hi!" She greeted them with her strong sweet English accent. " I'm Holly Bethany Lindsor, you have to be the people I invited. An Upper East Sider stands out from the rest,"

" yes, I'm Serena Celia Van Der Woodsen." Serena smiled at her, clearly taking a quick liking to the English girl.

" Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald," Nate gave a firm business nod, making Serena roll her blue eyes.

" I'm Blair Cornelia Waldorf, it's so nice to meet you. It was quite an unexpected invitation." Blair put on her social smile, already hating the woman who was marrying Chuck even though she barely knew her.

" yes well, Henry's friends deserve to be here for his wedding day. I also wanted to talk to you before all the wedding madness starts, I need a clear head to get through this. Come in, sit in the first living room and I'll order some coffees." Holly offered, opening the door wider so they could all squeeze in. Leaving their bags for the doorman to take to their rooms upstairs.

The three made their way to the living room, the home was huge even for them. There was room after room filled to the brim with books and furniture, Holly must be a reader because Chuck could stand the newspaper but nothing else. It took about five tries to find the right room, it was a bright white, it didn't look homely or lived in. At least with Nate, Serena and Blair all their homes may be big but it still looked like people lived there, toys and playmats on the floor might say that also.

They took their seats on a three seater immaculate sofa, trying not to get anything on it. Serena stared at the walls, noticing that there were no pictures of family members or even of Chuck. It was bare, it could have been sold and lived in on the same day, no cleaning needed. Nate looked at the books, they were all women type books. It didn't surprise him much because Chuck didn't read any books but his favourite ' The Great Gatsby.' There was not one copy on the shelf, at The Empire there was about three copies in each room. Blair couldn't help but notice that all the shoes in the shoes rack were women's heels, not one pair of Chucks classic black dress shoes. It was all so suspicious.

" guys," Blair alerted them, the blondes both stared at her intently, waiting for her to continue. " there is not one pair of men's shoes. Chuck has fifty in his personal wardrobe, wherever he lives they are scattered everywhere."

" there's not one copy of 'The Great Gatsby," it's Chuck's favourite book and movie. He always has a copy with him. One in his limo, one in every hotel room, one in my room and Serena's old room. There is even one in your room, Blair." Nate added, the concern growing. What the hell had they gotten themselves into?

" It's like nobody lives here, it's complete empty. A family home normally has pictures and personal ornaments but there's nothing here." Serena joined in, her own suspicion rising to the point of worry.

" it's weird. If two people who were getting married lived here, it would be filled with pictures, favourite movies and books, maybe even a speck of dust. This is not a family home." Nate declared, it was so clean and white, Chuck did purple, reds and blacks. The whole Empire had that gothic colour sceme, he even had Blair change a few things in her apartment to be a darker colour.

" I agree, Chuck wouldn't live in a home like this. It's too... happy." Serena agreed, adding her own opinion to the group. The other two nodded in agreement.

" we have to find out what is happening here and then I'm off. This is some creepy shit." Blair swore, she never swore. This was a one off and she would never repeat a sentence like that again.

" hi! Sorry if I took long, the maid is not here. Henry gave her leave to see her family for Valentine's Day. I don't get it but he's so kind." Holly beamed as she walked in with four coffees on a tray. The three rolled their brown and blue eyes, Chuck wasn't kind and why the hell was she calling him Henry?

" I'm sorry if this comes off rude," Serena began, they all knew how she was going to end. " but why did you invite us here? You said you know Chuck but you are calling him Henry which by the way is his son's name. I need to know what's going on with my brother and fast because I need to know where I stand with him."

" it's all very difficult to explain, it's all so messed up but easy to put together." Holly mumbled into her hands, her head rested on her palms.

" but you have to explain," Blair demanded.

" okay..." Holly sighed in defeat. " it all started nine months ago..."

_Ten months ago _

_There was a loud bang. It startled the street, pain hitting everyone involved. The bone shaking noise of screams could be heard above the sound of the commotion. Two cars, one a long black shiny limo and one a old blue banger. Four people involved, none dead but one should have been. It was as if he was dead, everything was a complete blur. He laid bleeding in the wreck for three hours before the emergency team got to him. _

_Blood poured from every painful wound, a acute throbbing pain in his head making it hard to think. He could see briefly three blurry shadows of women and one of a small child, not above the age of four. They were all crying, he counted his blessings as he saw what they were looking at. The child's father was lying strapped to a suspender, being airlifted to the nearest hospital. The mother held her son, grabbing the two teenage girls for support. He had caused this mess, he broke a family for nothing. _

_There was a women standing alone in the corner of the street, watching as everything happened. A single tear slipped down her cheek, slowly she walked over to him. He was shocked by the actions of this women, she grabbed his hands and squeezed them tightly. It felt supportive, it felt like a mother's grasp, holding him through the hard times. _

_" miss, do you know this man?" The paramedic asked the stranger, she nodded her head before replying in a soft English accent. _

_" I'm his fiancée," The woman shook her head, looking as sad as a lonely little girl. The paramedics pushed him in, jumping into the front of the ambulance to drive off. _

_" why did you do that? I don't know you." Chuck looked up at her, trying not to look into the light. _

_" I didn't want you on your own going to the hospital, I know how hard the hospital can be. And well, you know we know. I'm Holly." Holly smiled at him weakly, looking strong but feeling very weak. _

_" nice to meet you Holly." Her name rolled off his tongue like a magic word, making her flinch. _

_" and you?" _

_" I don't know," Chuck scrunched his eyebrows, the alarms went off. His blood pressure was dropping and so was his heart beat. They were losing him. _

Present

" so he doesn't know who he is?" Serena questioned, shocked by the recent revelation.

" nope, he lost every memory after the accident. It wasn't from the accident but it helped him do what he had done." Holly started to explain but Blair cut her off.

" what did he do?" Blair asked abruptly, desperate to find more about the love of her life.

" he has something called dissociative amnesia, something traumatic happened and his body unconsciously chose to forget memories. They said it would go away after a few weeks or months but it's been almost a year and he doesn't know anything." Holly shuddered, she truly loved Chuck. She wanted to know about his life before them and she knew nothing.

" so he doesn't know who I am or Nate or Serena. Does he even remember his children?" Blair sobbed uncontrollably, he had to remember her or at least their children.

" no," Holly shook her head. " I didn't know he had kids until you told me."

He had truly forgotten them. All of them.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_' Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by if you smile through your pain and sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through for you.'_

_-_

_Charlie Chaplin_


	18. Ending

Hey!!! I will be calling Chuck Henry until Chuck realises that he is Chuck not Henry. Very confusing but it will make sense. Hopefully.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

When you try to forget someone you love it never works because they are always engraved on your heart, it's permanently written in stone. The good and bad memories that you share don't disappear into thin air, the words that were spoken cannot be unsaid. The amazing life you build together, children, friends and family that have been merged by you. It cannot be forgotten.

Chuck had forgotten them, all of them even his little infant children. The moments with Serena as an older brother messing with his sister, pizza, weed and beers with Nate, making love to Blair. He had forgotten it all. It was as if the past had never happened and he was this new clean slate. Three other people had very dirty slates because of him but he gets this new start, it wasn't fair on anyone.

Blair, in tears, ran out of the weird white spotless house. The gold gates at the front of the estate where wide open, welcoming her to leave whenever she wanted and she wanted to leave now. Blair ran as fast as she could and never stopped running until she reached an old broken down bar, her friends wouldn't step foot anywhere near and definitely not in a place like this. The blinding illuminous red lights that spelt out The Round Hog flickered and for a moment or two went out. It was a dump, excactly where Blair wanted to be right now.

She walked into the crumbling bar, immediately smelling cheap ale and lit cigarettes, it would definitely take a while to get the smell of cigarette smoke out of her hair. Blair sat at the bar, placing her handbag on the fading water-marked wood and ignoring the cat calling men around her. The bartender asked her what she wanted, not wanting to sound as posh as she actually was she asked for a pint of beer. It was the worst service ever but it left her sometime to think.

The pint of an orange coloured liquid was dumped in front of her, the foam flowing over the bucket of a glass. She took her first tiny sip, pulling a very unladylike face as the beer reached her taste buds. After the third or fourth sip of the disgusting liquid it started to taste decent, it wasn't anywhere near as nice as Dom or even Chuck's aged scotch that burned your throat but it numbed the pain slightly.

" Miss..." a deep raspy voice awoke her from some really horrible thoughts, she recognised that voice. It was dark and mysterious with a hint of sarcasm and drenched in sex. It was his voice and Blair knew it.

" yes? How can I help you?" Blair replied confidently, acting like she had never met him. It may have not been the best approach at the situation but it was better than screaming a name at someone who is technically a complete stranger.

" you dropped your bag, Miss. You should be more careful. A pretty darling like you walking around these treacherous streets at night without a purse or phone is not the best thing around these parts. That's a Louis Vuitton, you probably have more at home but that's a special edition." The dark haired man chuckled, he had a more of an Texas accent. If you heard his voice you would think a cowboy hat and a horse came along after. Blair was shocked at the fashion knowledge this man had, Chuck never knew anything unless it came to what cufflinks matched what suit.

" yes. It is a special edition, you have a good eye for fashion. Not many men would know their Louis from their Gucci. Well, I'm not really from around here. Thank you, most men would have taken it." Blair thanked him, seeing him again after such a long time apart made her heart beat fast and her stomach flutter with butterflies.

" I'm not like most men, well at least I hope I'm not. I'm Henry Newton." He introduced himself with the wrong name but Blair took it as an introduction. Henry was Chuck and Chuck was Henry, there had to be some kind of recognition of his past.

" I'm Blair Waldorf, what is a man like you with a name Henry Newton doing at a place like this?" Blair quizzed with a flirty smile, looking into his hazel eyes deeply. Never wanting for the gaze to break.

" I should be asking you the same question pretty darling, you must be Blair Waldorf as in the famous fashion designer Eleanor Waldorf's daughter." Henry stated, Blair just continued to smile at him. " I'm here to get away from my fiancée, I need some alone then. She is a rich British trust fund baby so she would never come near a place like this, I need sometime away from her to clear my head a bit. She's got some snobby old friends over when asked her not to. We have our wedding in under a week and she just wants to find my past and not focus on my future."

" maybe you have to revisit your past to get on with your future. I have three beautiful children that I would never change for the world, I used to think that looking back to my life without them was being the worst parent in this crazy world. I should always want them here even when I'm pulling my hair out and never wish for a life without them being there. Then I learned that I shouldn't lose the old me so I can become the new me, both past and future play major parts in the present." Blair pondered, Henry pulled a serious thinking face. It made her laugh and he soon joined her.

" how the hell have you got three children? You barely look old enough for one newborn." Henry exclaimed with wide hazel eyes, it was as if Blair was meeting a new man. He was happier, kinder and way more interested in talking than Chuck ever was.

" I have ten month old twins and I'll have a one year old son in around three weeks. My eldest is Milos Charles, then the twins are Bailey Harriet and Henry Nathaniel." Blair smirked, emphasising Henry's name. The man smiled back at her, it wasn't a smirk like Chuck normally did. It was an actual smile, the curl of his lips and the lines by his mouth made him look older but way more handsome.

" I'm extremely honoured," Henry joked. " what's a pretty darling like you doing around a weird horror movie like bar?"

" I was running, it's a really stupid thing I do." Blair blushed pink, remembering a soul shattering conversation she had with Chuck. Running, she asked him not to run anymore and he said he couldn't promise that to her. Running was one of the main things that broke them apart. When things got tough they both would run, thinking of nobody but themselves. Blair had got over the running after Milo was born but Chuck never did. That's why she was sitting here talking to Henry.

" you do look a bit flushed, this stinking old beer won't calm down your breathing. Try some bottled water." Henry teased, pretending to inspect her large pint glass.

" you are so confident in yourself, maybe you should get back to your wife." Blair demanded, they should be friends and only friends until he works out who he truly is. Blair was the other woman with Nate and Serena and didn't intend to be the other women in another situation. It would mess up an already completely fucked up situation.

" fiancée," Henry corrected her, he didn't know why but he had this... pull to the brunette woman. He wanted to be with her and never leave again. Again? He had never met her before this moment. " but you are right pretty darling, I'll see you around Blair Waldorf." He grabbed his rugged leather jacket from the back of the wooden barstool, carelessly throwing it over his shoulder. It hung on by a single flimsy finger tip.

" I'll see you around Henry Newton." Blair imitated, looking back down at her half drunk orange pint. She heard the wind chimes at the top of the bar door chime and then the revving of an old sounding truck. Three long minutes slowly passed and then all was silent again except for the shouting of the old alcoholic men.

An old soccer game played on the old block tv, cheers from the drunken men could be heard every time something she assumed was good happened. Blair didn't understand it at all but she cheered with them, getting into the spirit of the commoners. It felt good to be normal for five minutes of the day, to have no worries and no drama going on.

The babies were safe with Lily as well as their cousins, Nate had apologised to Serena and she was taking it better than anyone could have hoped. Chuck or Henry looked really good, there was a noticeable scar behind his left ear but other than that he looked excactly the same except for being happy. If Henry was happy then Chuck was happy. She should be happy too.

**WRU@? We r so worried about u B! U have 2 come home, Chuck/Henry is cmng hre and I dnt know what to say - S**

**On my way! Just act cool and don't bring up anything about childhood and stuff. C U Soon - B **

Blair grabbed the Louis Vuitton purse Henry had retrieved from the sticky crumb covered floor and tipped the bartender a huge sum for just leaving her alone. The bitter early spring air on her face felt amazing, she walked in one person and came out another. The walk was around 30 minutes to the house, feeling energetic she decided to walk back to her temporary residence in huge white stilettos and a tight white skirt. The gravel massaged the base of her feet as she walked, her big toe hitting a large pebble once in a while but she didn't feel anything but happiness.

Blue lights of the garage sign illuminated her soft features, welcoming her to the dark night. Car after car stopped to give her a lift but she always answered them with the same sentence. _The nights too beautiful to ignore_. She looked up at the stars, following the shadows of planes across the sky. It was like a fairy tale and she never wanted it to end. There could never be an ending chapter, the story always went on.

The house came into view, walking in would mean she would have to face reality but she knew she had to do it. Blair reapplied her make up, puffing up her brown hair with her sharp finger nails. The door opened, Serena stood behind it before she could even knock. She shushed Blair in, showing her to the large dining area. The table had been cleared up, dinner was over. Serena pulled a slightly annoyed face before pulling Blair into a hug, her body shaking with a sob.

" B! He doesn't know who I am at all. I'm his twin sister and now we are nothing. I thought he would see me and Nate and recognise us straight away but he didn't even know our names. It was awful but he looks so happy. Chuck is happy, should we try to mess with that?" Serena whimpered into her best friends comforting shoulder, playing with a strand of curly brown hair that smelt like raspberry.

" to be honest, I don't know what we should do. All I've ever wanted for him is the happiness I see on his face now, that's all he has ever wanted for me. If this is his happiness then maybe we should leave him to it. It sounds awful but we are not good for him, we have never been good for him." Blair shushed her, lightly rubbing a hand on her best friends uncovered golden back.

" Chuck has always been really good for me, I've never loved someone like I love him. We had gotten somewhere, I was giving him the family he had always wanted. He was my best friend, my step brother and my twin brother. I don't want to give him up, I can't give him up. He is the only thing in my world that understands me, the only one that understand all of us and never judges." Serena wiped her blue eyes, pulling back from her crying friend. Blair lifted her shaking thumb and wiped the smudged mascara off the blonde's cheek.

" and we will always remember that, he's happy S. Chuck has tried so hard for us to be happy and now he finally is. No matter how much we love that man, we can't make him happy. I'm letting him go, I hate doing it but I love him to much to make him stay. I asked him a very long time ago to let me go and I didn't know then that I needed to let him go first. He wasn't attached, I was." Blair reasoned, making the blonde see light of the situation.

" Chuck loved you Blair, I've never seen him smile until he met you...I'm so sorry, I've done something terrible." Serena cried, grabbing her friend for another tight embrace. Blair was so confused that she just hugged back. " he left you a USB stick and a letter to read to the children. I was selfish so I didn't give it to you, it was after the whole Nate cheating with you thing."

" I don't need any apology, we have both been huge bitches this past year but now we need to move on from the past. I'm sorry, I slept with Nate." Blair said right out, she sounded harsh but Serena knew she had more to the sentence. " I will regret that for the rest of my life, I hurt you and the love of my life badly for one night of very painful uncomfortable sex. It ruined everything and I'm sorry. It will never be until but it's the best I will ever be able to do."

Blair could see Serena thinking it over, she always pulled a straining face when thinking over something that was extremely difficult. Blair always found it really cute, something Serena always hated to be called but Blair did it anyway. The women stood in the peaceful silence, Nate's heavy tired snores heard from upstairs and the swirling of the pool outside. It was a windy night, every tree in the ginormous garden was swaying widly. Thunder roared and the bright light of lightening could be seen shimmering off the blue pool.

" was it really that bad?" Serena asked with a squirming face, Blair was confused so Serena rephrased the question. "was the sex with Nate that painful?"

" yes but it wasn't his fault. I was cleared a few hours before to have sex and it had only been five weeks since I pushed two 4lb babies out of my vagina. Have you... you know... had sex?" Blair inquired with her girl talk face. She pushed herself and Serena onto the sofa so they could properly talk about boys and the pressures of being women who have children.

" no... I've been too scared to try again B. I'm not who I used to be before the girls, physically and mentally. A relationship with Nate is always mental and talking, sometimes I just want some hot passionate wild animal sex with no repercussions and talking about it afterwards." Serena admitted, her tanned cheeks turning a rosy golden pink. " but then when I talk to him about a more physical relationship he becomes physical with no mental, I wish you could get the perfect mix."

" Chuck was different. When we first met it was all physical, that's why we have twins, and then after I told him about the pregnancy it became all mental. It was as if I was a fragile breakable porcelain doll and needing taking care of. I told him I wasn't then it became physical again and from there it swapped between the both. We can wish one thing and then want another thing the next minute, it's called being a mother." Blair soothed her, their eyes met and for the first time in months they were just best friends talking. Two girls on the phone talking. It felt so normal that they wanted the drama to come back but at the same time never wanted to move from this position. Serena knew what she had to do, she reached in her pocket and pulled out the USB stick and a thick yellow letter. Blair stared it up and down, wondering if she should take it. She didn't have time to think before Serena forced into her hands and then getting up to leave. Serena always had to have the last word.

" do whatever you want with it, it was left for you and your children. Just don't do something you'll regret in the morning." Serena said, her hands touched the cold white bannister and she used it as support as she walked up the steps. Blair heard the door of her bedroom shut and all the movement stop.

Deciding it was time for her bedtime also, she made her way upstairs with the USB stick and letter in hand. Her room was at the end of the corridor, right above the pool. Two large glass doors walked out onto a balcony that over looked the garden. There were two more balconies, one either side of her. Tonight she was out in the cold fresh air alone, no one to bother her so she could focus on the task at hand.

She stuck the USB in the laptop balanced on her lap, anxiously sipping at her decaf cappuccino. Finally she noticed the folder labelled ' The Basses' at the bottom of the screen, she scrolled the mouse to click on it. There were only two files in the folder, one a video the other photos, Blair clicked on the video first.

It showed Chuck Bass sitting infront of the screen, his hair and face a complete mess. He had dark brown stubble on his jaw and was in desperate need for a proper hair cut. His clothes were dirty and crumpled, probably clean that morning but not anymore. There was a white light on the right side of his face, it must have been night. The moon shone bright in the room, it looked like a hotel room but not an Empire room. She pressed play.

_' This is probably one of my most stupid ideas but I'm drunk and have already tried five times so I'm not giving up. I'm Chuck Bass, I don't give up without a fight. I was going to fight for you, I'm not so sure anymore.' _

Blair saw the man in front of her breakdown, she didn't know this man. This man wasn't Chuck, Chuck was strong and never let his emotional barriers down. This man wasn't Henry, he was happier and joyful, filled with emotion but happy emotions. This wasn't him, this wasn't anyone Blair knew, had know or would want to know as bad as it sounds.

'_Blair baby I don't know what to do anymore. I've done everything I can for you and the children. I've been there when you needed me and gone when you have not. I have loved you, I have tried hating you but I will never be enough for you. I'm lost. I've been lost since I was sixteen years old, I was a child when my life was ruined. I can't blame you for this sadness I feel because I will never love anyone like I love you, you can't waste a love like that. It consumes you, it horrifies you, it kills you but mostly, it changes you. I am different man not because of you but because of my love for you. I can't depend on you but I can depend on my love for you. It is always there even when your are not looking or wanting it. I've tried to escape it with running, drugs, booze and women but nothing has worked. Maybe it's because we have only known eachother for our babies lifetime, maybe it's because something about you is so unforgettable. I don't know anything anymore, the only thing I know is that I can't love you anymore. To me, you mean the world and I would die for you, should I feel like that? No. Do I want to feel like that? No. Do I still love you after a month of trying not to? Yes.'_

Blair could finally see her Chuck in this empty shell of a human being on the screen, he put up a wall and shut out emotions. He loved her and she loved him, if love was that simple then they would have been married and on their fourth kid by now. Love isn't simple, it's like a roller coaster. You feel nervous at first, then you start to feel a tingle of excitement in your stomach. The scary part is coming and then the rides over. You were scared of that big part but you desperately want to get back on and when you do, you go through the whole cycle again.

_' I'm broken. I'm unfixable, at one point I thought you were my glue, my missing piece but I was wrong. You were another crack to my shattering heart, cheesy but true. I don't know how I'm going to live without you but I'm going to do it. I'm doing it for me, for my children and for you. You are all better off without me, I bring darkness to a light place. I can't be the wind to a flame, I rile you up or blow you out. I can't be the man you deserve to love because you deserve the best and the worst. I pray to god I'm not either of them because I want to give you the world but I'm a devil, I'll ruin you without trying. I love you, Blair Waldorf. That's why I'm ending it, ending it all.' _

She noticed how the emotion left his dark blood shot eyes, the video had taken a turn for the worse. Blair wanted to shut it off but she had no power in her hands to do it. Her body was numb, her legs wouldn't budge from their spot. She knew what he was going to say but she just could bare to hear him say it. She might actually break when he does.

' _when the kids are older, tell them about me. Make sure they know the bad as well as the good, I don't want to create a picture of a perfect prince once I was really a devil in disguise. Tell them I love them everynight before bed and when they wake up. Most of all, don't forget me Blair Waldorf. Even in death, I will never forget you.' _

The screen went dark, the video ended. When they said an accident with cars it was immediately thought to have been a car accident but it wasn't. Chuck must have jumped in front of a moving car or from a building on top of one. It was all to much, the news of the past two days had brought to much pain. How would she tell the kids that their father couldn't remember them because he tried to kill himself because she slept with Uncle Nate?

Chuck had gotten to the point of depression that he had wanted to end it. All of it. His breath, his heart beat, the thoughts in his head. Blair knew how he went into these dark periods but they had never gotten this bad. To the point of killing himself. She didn't know how to feel, she was as empty as the man on her screen.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_**I will leave my heart at the door**_

_

**I won't say a word**

_**

_They've all been said before you know_

_So why don't we just play pretend_

_Like we're not scared of what's coming next_

_Or scared of having nothing left_

**

_**Look, don't get me wrong**_

_

**I know there is no tomorrow**

_**

_All I ask is_

**

_**If this is my last night with you**_

_

**Hold me like I'm more than just a friend**

_**

_Give me a memory I can use_

_Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do_

_It matters how this ends_

_'Cause what if I never love again?_

_-_

_All I Ask by Adele _

**


	19. Authors Note

Hey guys!!! Hope you are enjoying the story. From now on it will be posted under Never Ending, it is continueing but just under that story. Go and have a read! A new chapters up!!!


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